Lounge of The Drunken Severed Head

Last year's Christmas

2011-12-25T14:38:00.000-05:00

Above: Jane asks Zombie Santa about returning a severed head, while watching out for the grabby hands of Hermie the Horny Undead Elf.

I have a few last photos and stories to share about Christmas for the Voodoo Queen and I.

You may wonder if we have any traditions we faithfully observe in our home during the season, other than the usual tree-trimming and gift exchange. Well, one new tradition (an oxymoron, yeah, but I just started this tradition) is the Christmas Melting of Objects. Jane and I worked on a craft project that involved melting bits of colored plastic to make a sun-catcher.

My family has always been "crafty. I still have the ceramic dessert plates my 2nd-cousin-once-removed-from-society Edie Gein made from the ashes of her grandfather-- I use them to serve ladyfingers. But I digress. Jane and I had fun trying to liquidate old Halloween candy.

See, I had this plate of leftover circus peanuts and candy corn stuck up on a bookshelf and forgotten:

No, I don't eat that crap--it was around at Halloween time just because it's the scariest candy I know of and added to the "spooky" atmosphere. (Hey, it's a gas to have a bowl of this out when trick-or-treaters come just to see their reactions when they think that's what they are getting--but we were kind and gave out Snickers.) Anyway, having once discovered that nuking marshmallow Peeps was a blast, I decided to do it to these crappy confections. So transferring it all to a plain paper plate, I blasted it with radiation:

And it came out looking like a "Harvest moon" with giant orange volcanic ridges on its surface. (Man, you can't easily destroy circus peanuts!) The candy became so hard I tried using it as a hammer:

After that, gifts were exchanged as part of our Christmas morning, before we went out to visit friends.

What is more appropriate for a severed head than a severed leg lamp?

It's fra-gee-lay!

And what more could Jane want than a crocheted conjoined rat?

One early gift I gave myself was a "ghost camera," which guaranteed that spirits would be revealed on each film frame every time I took a photo with it. (I don't think specters and shades can be revealed on digital cameras-- too modern for the tastes of the old-fashioned dead.) So for the week of Christmas I took pictures at several places, hoping to capture shots of the invisible citizens of Eternity.

Except for my cropping and resizing some of them, the following images came back from the film lab just as you see them.

Here's outside my home:

Inside famous Allegheny Cemetery:

At St. John's Evangelical Lutheran Cemetery:

At Union Dale Cemetery a ghostly piper played for a flying girl...

More from other parts of Union Dale:

And on Christmas Day I used my ghost camera inside the home of friends Bill and Ariann. (I blogged about our horrorday celebrations with them here and here.)

Midget dancers once lived in their house, apparently--

And it seems there was an awful apparition in the dining room:

A phantom was trying to interfere with Bill's carving the ham:

And to think we were all oblivious to the these ethereal, ectoplasmic holiday guests.

Here's to a haunted-yet-fun 2011!

Weird Xmas pics

2011-12-25T14:23:00.001-05:00

Going with the low humor I'm celebrated for in cities around the globe (yeah, right!), here are a few photos to put you in the Christmas mood.

The Witch's Christmas!

2011-12-25T14:21:00.002-05:00

Two of the most popular and linked-to entries of this blog are How to Care for Your Monster, Part 1 and Part 2 about the beloved 1970 Norman Bridwell kid's book from Scholastic.

So as a Christmas gift to TDSH readers I thought I'd share some select scans from another Bridwell book, The Witch's Christmas.

In this charming book from the same year, a young girl and her little brother are friends with a witch, whose magic makes winter and Christmas activities more fun for them. Later, when Santa's sleigh hits a Apollo space capsule (hey, it IS 1970!) and becomes entangled with it, the witch comes to the rescue. Creating magic brooms for Santa, the reindeer, and the astronauts, she leads them all to safety and a party with the brother and sister.

A very sweet story by Bridwell, the artist and writer of the popular Clifford, the Big Red Dog books.

Enjoy the scans--click on any of the photos below to enlarge them.

Merry Christmas,
from The Drunken Severed Head!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T14:19:00.002-05:00

Classic horror stars play Santa in this interior image from a card I got in 2007 from artist and dear friend Richard Olson, whose art graces several posts in this blog.

There's Claude Rains, Peter Lorre, Basil Rathbone, Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney, Jr., John Carradine and Vincent Price. All as spine-tingling Kringles!

Merry Christmas to all my friends--past, present, and future, real and virtual!

TDSH classic post: Hairy, Scary, Bavari-an Christmas

2011-12-24T09:11:00.000-05:00

Above is a picture from Global Post on the monstrous German Christmas character, Krampus. From their web article "8 wacky holiday traditions."

Last year, I posted some photos similar to the one above, taken by a German-American friend while she was visiting the state of Bavaria. She was generous to share them with TDSH. Below is that post.

____________________________

Below are scans of pics lent by friend Steffi Staley of a Christmas parade in the German state of Bavaria, where Santa's evil sidekick Krampus, his demon friends, and witches all appear, the better to scare kids into being good. (A tradition I think is great for children-- although some disagree.)

This is a tradition that I wish would flourish here-- hey, we got the Christmas tree and Santa Claus from the Old World, why not Krampus and his kind? I live in a section of Pittsburgh that was home for the German immigrant community in the 19th and early 20th centuries, but the "Pennsylvania Dutch" Christmas monster known as Belsnickel seems to have disappeared completely from Christmas celebrations here. What a shame!

Merry Christmas!

Encore post: "The Executioner"

2011-11-24T18:15:00.001-05:00

From Marvel's WHERE MONSTERS DWELL #26, cover date January 1974. Originally appeared in UNCANNY TALES #9, cover date June 1953. Art by Myron Fass.

Click on each image to see the larger version.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL TDSH READERS!

Happy Thanksgiving 2011!

2011-11-24T18:08:00.002-05:00

Nothing says "Thanksgiving" like an astronaut puppet made from household junk:

My Thanksgiving wish for all of you: "Get stuffed!"

Recommended: "The Presence of Price"

2011-11-22T19:10:00.002-05:00

Maybe I'm a turkey for promoting/applauding something I had a hand in (but it's Thanksgiving, so eat me.) But I'm really, truly pleased to share a heart-warming article today that celebrates this Vincent Price birthday centennial year.

Journalist Raymond Castile and I have co-authored an article sharing the thoughts and experiences of a number of Price's fans (including the ever-thoughtful Tim Lucas of Video Watchdog and the never-thoughtful me) and those of Price co-stars David Hedison, Brett Halsey, Charles Herbert & Terry Moore. Raymond and I attended the impressive St. Louis Vincentennial, and he did some great interviews there. I attended the Monster Bash Octoberfest later, and I did some interviews about Vincent Price there.

http://famousmonstersoffilmland.com/2011/11/22/the-presence-of-price/

If that's not enough, Famous Monsters of Filmland issue #254 celebrates the Vincent Price centennial and can be ordered here.

Art by R.J. Shay for the Vincentennial at the Star Clipper gallery in St. Louis.

More of Raymond’s acclaimed reportage and photography is found in the fine first issue of Monsterpalooza magazine, which has very nice work by a number of writers and artists. Order it here.

And I should add that the impressive second issue of Undying Monsters commemorates well 100 years of Vincent Price. Find it here.

I love what Vincentennial organizer Tom Stockman accomplished. I loved Ron Adam's Monster Bash (where Price's co-stars appeared.) And my Rondo-winning friend Raymond is a talented, perceptive reporter and writer. I'm grateful to all of them!

And of course, any spotlight on Vincent Price is welcome to my eyes. Yours too, I'm guessing. Happy Thanksgiving!

8 Horror Movies and the Real Crimes that Copied Them

2011-11-18T19:53:00.001-05:00

Below is an article sent to me for use here under the title 8 Horror Movies That Inspired Real-Life Crimes. Since the degree that movies can "inspire" criminal behavior is a debatable topic, I changed the title for its appearance here. It was compiled and authored by Jay Smith for the website Criminal Justice Degrees Guide. (I wonder if Jay knew I used to work in plainclothes security for the Loss Prevention department of a large retail chain?) Here for your vicarious titillation (I love that word!) is the article.

*******

Horror movies are meant to entertain and excite audiences, but by no means are they intended to be taken off the screen and acted out in real life. In some rare cases, horror movies give mentally ill people creative, yet twisted ideas that they feel compelled to repeat. Here are eight horror movies that inspired real-life crimes:

Natural Born Killers
Natural Born Killers has inspired some of the most gruesome copycat killings in history. The film has been associated with several serial killers, including the homicidal couple Sarah Edmonson and Benjamin Darras. In 1995, the murderous duo dropped LSD and watched Natural Born Killers repeatedly before going on a drug-fueled crime spree of robbing and shooting a convenience store clerk that left her a quadriplegic. During the crime spree, Darras shot and killed a Mississippi businessman. Edmonson was sentenced to 35 years in prison and Darras is doing life.
Scream
Wes Craven’s slasher movie series Scream was the inspiration behind the murder of Gina Castillo by her 16-year-old son and his 15-year-old cousin, Samuel Ramirez. The two teenagers confessed to the gruesome murder of Castillo and admitted that they did it because they needed money to fund a murder spree that would reenact the story line of the first two Hollywood Scream movies. In order to follow the Scream story line, the teenage boys planned to buy the ghost-face mask and electronic voice boxes that are seen in the movie.
A Clockwork Orange
Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange has been the inspiration for many twisted real-life crimes, specifically throughout Britain. The crimes have exhibited similarities with the film, but one of the most bizarre cases involved a man named John Ricketts who was dressed up as a droog from A Clockwork Orange and assaulted a woman dressed as Little Britain‘s Vicky Pollard at an office party. The violent movie was banned from UK cinemas because of the increase in violent crimes following its release.
Queen of the Damned
In 2002, Allan Menzies murdered his longtime friend, Thomas McKendrick, because he claimed a character in the vampire movie, Queen of the Damned, told him to do it and promised to make him a vampire in the next life. After watching the film about 100 times and receiving a visit from the female vampire Akasha in the middle of the night, he decided to murder people. Menzies also believed that McKendrick and another friend were plotting to kill him, but he turned on McKendrick first. Menzies stabbed his friend to death, drank his blood, and ate part of his head before burying him in a shallow grave. The "vampire killer" was later found dead in his prison cell from an apparent suicide.
Child’s Play 3
Robert Thompson and Jon Venables were 10 years old when they kidnapped and brutally murdered two-year-old James Bulger in Liverpool. In 1993, Thompson and Venables snatched the toddler from a shopping mall and took him to a railway line where they beat and sexually assaulted the young boy. They left Bulger’s mutilated body on the railway tracks to die. Thompson and Venables were supposedly inspired by the horror film Child’s Play 3. The killer doll movies caused a great deal of controversy in the United Kingdom, as well as a public outcry for tightening "video nasties."
American Psycho
In 2004, Michael Hernandez, 14, stabbed his middle school classmate to death and admitted to modeling his behavior after the serial killers in American Psycho and The Silence of the Lambs. The South Florida teen said he identified with the horror movie murderers and wanted to act out their roles in his real-life plan to become a serial killer. Hernandez believed God gave him special powers and agreed with his decision to kill his classmate. The teen boy was found guilty of first-degree murder in 2008.
Nightmare on Elm Street
The famous ’80s horror film, Nightmare on Elm Street, was the inspiration for Daniel Gonzalez’s killing spree. In 2004, the paranoid schizophrenic went on a drug-fueled rampage and murdered four random people, including a doctor and his wife. Gonzalez armed himself with several knives and acted out a Freddy Krueger-like spree. Official reports claimed that Gonzalez did not receive proper treatment for his mental condition. He was given six life sentences for the four murders, as well as two attempted murders throughout England. In 2007, Gonzalez committed suicide in his cell.
Saw
The Saw horror movie series was the inspiration behind a cruel prank that turned into a serious matter for two teenage girls in Winchester, Tenn. The teenagers used theSaw plot of making victims play games to stay alive by leaving a gruesome message on 52-year-old Beverly Dickson’s phone. They told Dickson that one of her friends was hidden in her house and it would be filled with toxic gas shortly. They asked if she wanted to live or die. Dickson got the message while attending a funeral and suffered a stroke from the frightening incident. The two 13-year-old

The 9 Weirdest Horror Movies Ever Made!

2011-10-31T22:41:00.000-05:00

That is, according to a guest blogger, Katina Solomon. She is a writer for hire writing for a college information website called Zen College Life, and she thought her article on weird horror movies would fit well here. I agree, and I think she made some great choices. Watch these weirdies and your jaw may be dropped permanently!

_______________

The 9 Weirdest Horror Movies Ever Made

All horror movies are weird, when you think about it. How often do you really find yourself fighting a psycho in a hockey mask when you go camping? Or worrying about whether your local hospital will suddenly start spitting out zombies? Not that often. Even so, some horror movies look like documentaries compared with some of the genre's weirder entries. You want a possessed bed? Evil snow? Sentient human waste? Then you're in luck. Here are 10 of the weirdest horror movies ever made, for anyone feeling brave or bored enough to give them a try. Don't say we didn't warn you, though.

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Immortalized in a Patton Oswalt routine, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats offers everything its title promises. There's a bed, and it eats people who sleep on it. Period. Released in 1977 by writer/director/producer George Barry — who is apparently a one-man operation for gems like this one — the film tells the story of a bed possessed by a demon that kills and eats anyone who tries to sleep or make love on it. The production values are, to put it kindly, not very good, but the final product is just crazy enough to be watchable. Just sit on a couch when you do.
Tourist Trap
The 1970s and 1980s were kind of a golden era for weird American horror. The genre was still considered an illegitimate offshoot of "real" filmmaking, and it took game-changers like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Halloween to start convincing people that horror was more than just goofy shocks. That was a tough fight, too, because movies like Tourist Trap were nothing but goofy shocks for 90 minutes at a time. And make no mistake: This is a weird movie. It's all about a group of friends who stumble upon an old man who owns a run-down museum full of mannequins and wax figures that he — wait for it — controls telepathically. He picks the kids off and turns them into plastic monsters to fill up his collection. Creepy, darkly humorous, and definitely worth your time.
Teeth
Mitchell Lichtenstein's slightly campy, definitely uncomfortable horror movie deals with a teenage girl cursed with vagina dentata. It is every bit as awkward and weird as it sounds — it's not uncommon for the horror to happen just out of frame, only for a severed organ to fall with a thump to the ground — and its unevenness keeps it from working as a thriller or a comedy. It's not straight enough to be scary, and it's not nearly funny or smart enough to play as a satire. It's just off-putting.
Cannibal! The Musical
Before they got going with South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone did what all college students do: They made a musical about cannibalism in the days of gold prospecting. Originally titled Alferd Packer: The Musical and retitled Cannibal! The Musical when it was picked up for distribution, the horror-comedy tells the tale of Alferd Packer, a prospector involved in a cannibalism incident in the winter of 1873 on a journey from Utah to Colorado. The movie is hilarious and bizarre in equal measure, veering from upbeat songs to moments of absurd gore with a glee that Parker and Stone would later bring to their landmark animated series. Watch it for the experience, but don't be surprised if you start humming the songs. (Photo above courtesy of Troma.)
The Baby
Now this is one for the books. Released in 1973, the film revolves around a social worker who starts working for a family whose patriarch is a mentally impaired man in his 20s who still crawls around and acts like a baby. The man is also regularly abused and sexually assaulted by his mother and sisters (and a babysitter). It's a psychological thriller with a bizarre execution, and it's the kind of insane flick that fell through the cracks of the world and drifted through grindhouses and cable stations in the years after its debut. The ending is the perfect capper to a twisted story. It's a horror movie, yes, but more than anything it's just crazy.
Monsturd
Monsturd is a haunting examination of man's own inhumanity in a postmodern age. Kidding! It's about a killer made of poop. It's a real movie, too. You can buy it and everything. Released in 2003 to an unsuspecting world, Monsturd is about a serial killer who escapes his pursuers by hiding in a sewer, only to fall into a pool of chemicals that turns him into a monster that's half-man, half-feces. Understandably unhappy about his new form, the Monsturd throws himself into a rage-fueled killing spree. Does Monsturd come up through toilets to get people? Watch and find out! Or don't. Actually, just don't. It's boring, badly acted, and impossible to watch without being dangerously drunk. Just enjoy the premise and move on.
Night of the Lepus
If you know your Latin, you know that "lepus" means "hare." That's right: This is a horror movie about giant killer rabbits. Based on the comedy-horror novel The Year of the Angry Rabbit, the film loses any hint of satire or social commentary and goes right for awful scares and laughable effects. The mutant rabbits that do the killing are played by real rabbits set against miniature sets or by humans in rabbit costumes, which makes the film about as scary as an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba! and twice as surreal. All silly, no scary, and weird as can be.
House
This Japanese horror flick from 1977 has a considerable cult following and even earned a recent remastering as part of the Criterion Collection. But don't be fooled: It's deeply, bravely weird. It will break your brain. The plot very loosely deals with a young girl who travels with a few of her classmates to her aunt's home, only to find herself doing supernatural battle with a sentient house that wants to kill them. That description actually sounds somewhat normal (ish) until you see the actual movie. It's a masterpiece of WTFery that can never be topped.
Mystics in Bali
Cheap, Indonesian, and not at all worried about making sense,Mystics of Bali is in the running for weirdest of the weird. The story follows a woman who heads to Bali to investigate the locals and their history of witchcraft; yada yada yada, she befriends a demon queen and transforms into a variety of animals before eventually terrorizing the village as a severed head on a stump of organs. You know, as one does when one goes to Bali. The film's straightforward presentation of twisted images and gore make it a surrealist's dream come true, and it relies more on sheer bizarre ideas than typical shocks and scares. Not for the faint, but a must for the curious.

Mary Shelley's ghosts

2011-10-31T03:50:00.000-05:00

In 1824, the mother of Frankenstein wrote an essay entitled, "On Ghosts", for issue 9 of London Magazine. Besides including a personal nightmare about a haunted house, Mary Shelley relates an account of a suicide, a headless corpse, and a bloody ghost.

I am posting an excerpted form of the article here for your Halloween enjoyment. (The full text can be read here.) It ends as she ended it, with a folk tale about a bizarre cat funeral seen at night in a remote German forest; this folk tale is often retold and anthologized, and you may find yourself recognizing it. Her account was told to her by Matthew G. Lewis, an early writer in the Gothic tradition, and whose novel The Monk scandalized English society. He related ghost stories to Mary and Percy Shelley during the same summer that Mary's novel Frankenstein was conceived.

Art by Mia Tavonatti from the 1994 Watermill paperback "Great Ghost Stories."

Happy Halloween!

_______________________

What has become of enchantresses with their palaces of crystal and dungeons of palpable darkness? What of fairies and their wands? What of witches and their familiars? and, last, what of ghosts, with beckoning hands and fleeting shapes, which quelled the soldier's brave heart, and made the murderer disclose to the astonished noon the veiled work of midnight? These which were realities to our fore-fathers, in our wiser age—

— Characterless are grated/ To dusty nothing.

[Shakespeare, Troilus and Cressida, Act III, scene 2.]

Yet is it true that we do not believe in ghosts?

For my own part, I never saw a ghost except once in a dream. I feared it in my sleep; I awoke trembling, and lights and the speech of others could hardly dissipate my fear. Some years ago I lost a friend, and a few months afterwards visited the house where I had last seen him. It was deserted, and though in the midst of a city, its vast halls and spacious apartments occasioned the same sense of loneliness as if it had been situated on an uninhabited heath. I walked through the vacant chambers by twilight, and none save I awakened the echoes of their pavement. The far mountains (visible from the upper windows) had lost their tinge of sunset; the tranquil atmosphere grew leaden coloured as the golden stars appeared in the firmament; no wind ruffled the shrunk-up river which crawled lazily through the deepest channel of its wide and empty bed; the chimes of the Ave Maria had ceased, and the bell hung moveless in the open belfry. I walked through the rooms filled with sensations of the most poignant grief. He had been there; his living frame had been caged by those walls, his breath had mingled with that atmosphere, his step had been on those stones, I thought: — the earth is a tomb, the gaudy sky a vault, we but walking corpses. The wind rising in the east rushed through the open casements, making them shake; —methought, I heard, I felt— I know not what —but I trembled, awe-struck and fearful. Wherefore? There is something beyond us of which we are ignorant.

I have known two persons who at broad daylight have owned that they believed in ghosts, for that they had seen one. One of these was an Englishman, and the other an Italian. The former had lost a friend he dearly loved, who for awhile appeared to him nightly, gently stroking his cheek and spreading a serene calm over his mind. He did not fear the appearance, although he was somewhat awe-stricken as each night it glided into his chamber, and placed itself on the left side of the bed.

This visitation continued for several weeks, when by some accident he altered his residence, and then he saw it no more. Such a tale may easily be explained away;—but several years had passed, and he, a man of strong and virile intellect, said that "he had seen a ghost."

The Italian was a noble, a soldier, and by no means addicted to superstition: he had served in Napoleon's armies from early youth, and had been to Russia, had fought and bled, and been rewarded, and he unhesitatingly, and with deep relief, recounted his story.

This Chevalier, a young, and (somewhat a miraculous incident) a gallant Italian, was engaged in a duel with a brother officer, and wounded him in the arm. The subject of the duel was frivolous; and distressed therefore at its consequences he attended on his youthful adversary during his consequent illness, so that when the latter recovered they became firm and dear friends. They were quartered together at Milan, where the youth fell desperately in love with the wife of a musician, who disdained his passion, so that it preyed on his spirits and his health; he absented himself from all amusements, avoided all his brother officers, and his only consolation was to pour his love-sick plaints into the ear of the Chevalier, who strove in vain to inspire him either with indifference towards the fair disdainer, or to inculcate lessons of fortitude and heroism. As a last resource he urged him to ask leave of absence; and to seek, either in change of scene, or the amusement of hunting, some diversion to his passion. One evening the youth came to the Chevalier, and said, "Well, I have asked leave of absence, and am to have it early tomorrow morning, so lend me your fowling-piece and cartridges, for I shall go to hunt for a fortnight." The Chevalier gave him what he asked; among the shot there were a few bullets. "I will take these also," said the youth, "to secure myself against the attack of any wolf, for I mean to bury myself in the woods."

Although he had obtained that for which he came, the youth still lingered. He talked of the cruelty of his lady, lamented that she would not even permit him a hopeless attendance, but that she inexorably banished him from her sight, "so that," said he, "I have no hope but in oblivion." At length lie rose to depart. He took the Chevalier's hand and said, "You will see her to-morrow, you will speak to her, and hear her speak; tell her, I entreat you, that our conversation tonight has been concerning her, and that her name was the last that I spoke." "Yes, yes," cried the Chevalier, "I will say any thing you please; but you must not talk of her any more, you must forget her." The youth embraced his friend with warmth, but the latter saw nothing more in it than the effects of his affection, combined with his melancholy at absenting himself from his mistress, whose name, joined to a tender farewell, was the last sound that he uttered.

When the Chevalier was on guard that night, he heard the report of a gun. He was at first troubled and agitated by it, but afterwards thought no more of it, and when relieved from guard went to bed, although he passed a restless, sleepless night. Early in the morning some one knocked at his door. It was a soldier, who said that he had got the young officer's leave of absence, and had taken it to his house; a servant had admitted him, and he had gone up stairs, but the room door of the officer was locked, and no one answered to his knocking, but something oozed through from under the door that looked like blood. The Chevalier, agitated and frightened at this account, hurried to his friend's house, burst open the door, and found him stretched on the ground— he had blown out his brains, and the body lay a headless trunk, cold, and stiff.

The shock and grief which the Chevalier experienced in consequence of this catastrophe produced a fever which lasted for some days. When he got well, he obtained leave of absence, and went into the country to try to divert his mind. One evening at moonlight, he was returning home from a walk, and passed through a lane with a hedge on both sides, so high that he could not see over them. The night was balmy; the bushes gleamed with fireflies, brighter than the stars which the moon had veiled with her silver light. Suddenly he heard a rustling near him, and the figure of his friend issued from the hedge and stood before him, mutilated as he had seen him after his death. This figure he saw several times, always in the same place. It was impalpable to the touch, motionless, except in its advance, and made no sign when it was addressed. Once the Chevalier took a friend with him to the spot. The same rustling was heard, the same shadow slept forth, his companion fled in horror, but the Chevalier staid, vainly endeavouring to discover what called his friend from his quiet tomb, and if any act of his might give repose to the restless shade.

Such are my two stories, and I record them the more willingly, since they occurred to men, and to individuals distinguished the one for courage and the other for sagacity. I will conclude my "modern instances," with a story told by M. G. Lewis, not probably so authentic as these, but perhaps more amusing. I relate it as nearly as possible in his own words.

"A gentleman journeying towards the house of a friend, who lived on the skirts of an extensive forest, in the east of Germany, lost his way. He wandered for some time among the trees, when he saw a light at a distance. On approaching it he was surprised to observe that it proceeded from the interior of a ruined monastery. Before he knocked at the gate he thought it proper to look through the window. He saw a number of cats assembled round a small grave, four of whom were at that moment letting down a coffin with a crown upon it. The gentleman startled at this unusual sight, and, imagining that he had arrived at the retreats of fiends or witches, mounted his horse and rode away with the utmost precipitation. He arrived at his friend's house at a late hour, who sat up waiting for him. On his arrival his friend questioned him as to the cause of the traces of agitation visible in his face. He began to recount his adventures after much hesitation, knowing that it was scarcely possible that his friend should give faith to his relation. No sooner had he mentioned the coffin with the crown upon it, than his friend's cat, who seemed to have been lying asleep before the fire, leaped up, crying out, 'Then I am king of the cats;' and then scrambled up the chimney, and was never seen more."

A Horrible Horrorwitz Hellish Halloween Hoo-Hah!

2011-10-27T01:13:00.003-05:00

My friend Brian "Horrible" Horrorwitz over at the mondo-weird Trash Palace store has mixed his annual Halloween playlist and offers it for streaming or download!

He says, "80 minutes of wiiiiild Halloween rock-n-roll plus some excellent horror movie radio ads and a few surprises!It fits nicely onto a CD-R disc!!"

I recommend it! You can download it with 1 click or listen to it online at his blog here:

http://officialtrashpalace.blogspot.com/2011/10/horrorwitzs-hellish-halloween-hoo-hah.html

Answer in the form of a question!

2011-10-25T12:46:00.001-05:00

Here's Alex Trebek with Halloween Jeopardy!

Cat-e-gory: Rated 'R'
(Each answer contains clues for TWO words; the first word becomes a second, Halloween-related word when an 'r' is added to it or taken from it!)

1. The answer is: A very small bloodsucker--THEN--Not a treat

2. The answer is: A bad child--THEN--A winged mammal

3. Opposite of "took'--THEN--A resting place

4. The answer is: Something suckled--THEN--Not a trick

5. A rude, obnoxious person--THEN--A specter's cry

6. A loud noise--THEN--A sorceress' mode of transportation

__________________________

Cat-e-gory: Homophones (words that sound like other words with other spellings)

This enchanting Halloween icon is also an adjective used when asking about "a particular one."

Which one of you will respond correctly?

Mark Statler and His Creepy Classic Chiller Band

2011-10-25T12:36:00.002-05:00

Recommended for Halloween rockin':

This CD is perfect for Monster Kids of Boomer and Gen X age. Not exactly a Halloween CD, it is still an excellent choice for perking up one's Halloween spirit. An online description of the CD describes it as "Bluesy 50's-60's light rock and roll tribute to classic horror films of the 30's thru 50's." If you like The Moon Rays, you'll like Mark and his band.

Both nicely-performed covers and original songs are here, including Statler-penned tributes to the makeup men of Hollywood and a tribute song to the annual Monster Bash classic horror film convention. Best of the covers, IMHO, are these tunes: a kick-ass version of Al Caiola's arrangement of Mancini's Experiment in Terror, an energetic Haunted House, and a romantic crooning of Moonglow, which opens with a wolf (or maybe werewolf) howl in the background. (The song is nice contrast to the horror novelty selections.)

You can listen to excerpts from the CD, and buy a copy, at Indie Rhythm .

You can also purchase or download it from CD Baby.

OR you can help support the Monster Bash, a great convention, by buying it at this Creepy Classics page.

A Comic-al Halloween

2011-10-21T02:50:00.000-05:00

As Halloween approaches, you're thinking of the HALLOWEEN FUN you'll have October 31st.

But when Halloween arrives, my friends, be careful if you go out at night. You must BEWARE of midnight, THE WITCHING HOUR!

For if you should lose your way, you might take a JOURNEY INTO FEAR! Even UNKNOWN WORLDS--of FEAR!
In these places between the natural world and the supernatural one, you could be confronted by THE UNEXPECTED and the ASTONISHING---

You could come face to face with a GHOST-- a stalking specter from THE BEYOND!

Or even THE MONSTER OF FRANKENSTEIN--

Worse still--you might become victim to the nameless beast known only as THE THING!

Oh, heed me! Do not tempt THE HAND OF FATE--

or you may wind up caught in a WEB OF MYSTERY--a WEB OF EVIL!

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled mirth without worry.

This post originally published October 2009.

Guaranteed Completely Safe!

2011-10-17T01:38:00.001-05:00

HALLOWEEN SAFETY TIPS

for

DANGER-FREE

Trick-or-Treating!

__________

• If someone not immediately recognizable approaches you, walk (don't run) to your house and call the police.

• Do not wear a mask. It may obstruct your vision, and you could be mistaken for a robber or criminal of some type.

• Never go out after dark.

• Keep your distance from stray dogs, wild beasts or escaped zoo animals.

• Don't approach the property of persons not known to you personally for at least ten years.

• Avoid unusual costumes that could identify you as a trick-or-treater to lurking pedophiles.

• Carry pepper spray, chemical mace, or a handheld tasers. Don't carry guns or knives without the recommendation of an adult known personally to you for a minimum of ten years.

• Never accept candy or foodstuffs of any kind.

• Don't go out if you are under 18 years of age.

• Stay in your own home or yard.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ENJOY IT SAFELY!

These tips come from those safety-minded brothers Mark and Max Cheney.

After writing a draft of this post, I found the following video at the great blog Magic Carpet Burn. I'm going to share it too!

Candy Corny

2011-10-14T15:05:00.001-05:00

Boo!

Watercolor art by Linda Miller.

Here's all the old, silly, just-for-kids Halloween jokes you could want in one blog post. Tell 'em to trick-or-treaters and you'll SLAY them!

______________

What is Dracula's favorite place for climbing?
Mt. Kill-a-man-jaro.

What is Freddy Krueger's favorite food?
Cold cuts.

What sounds do two vampires make when they kiss?
Ouch!

What do you call a zombie that presses your doorbell?
A dead ringer!

How does a werewolf sign his letters?
Beast vicious!

How do you get to the monster's house?
Walk down the street, then turn fright at the dead end.

Baby Monster: Momma, can I eat my potatoes with my fingers?
Momma Monster: No, eat them separately!

How can you make a witch scratch?
Take away the 'w'!

What do mad doctors eat after dinner?
Experi-mints!

How do mummies disguise themselves?
They wear masking tape.

What did the ghost buy for his haunted house?
Home-moaner's insurance!

Monster #1: Am I late for dinner?
Monster #2: Yes, everyone's eaten.

Why did the giant monster bring a root beer to Pittsburgh?
To have something to wash it down with!

Where do werewolves go shopping?
The maul.

(From 991/2 Spooky Jokes, Riddles & Nonsense, written by Holly Kowitt. Scholastic, Inc.)

Found on the monster's bookshelf:

Dare You to Touch It, by Harry I. Ball

My Life As A Private Eye, by Sy Klopps

What Happened To The Cannibal's Friend? by I. A. Timm

* * * * * *

Pierre: Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers?

Max: No, they eat the fingers separately.

Karswell: How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

Trixie: Give him screws.

Kitty: What is the difference between a drunken severed head and a candy bar?

Zombos: People like candy bars!

Rozum: What kind of monster has the best hearing ?

Erick: The eeriest one!

Rattolle (a monster kid ): Mommy, can I leave the table?

Absinthe (a monster mom): Yes, I'll save it for you for later.

Zombos: Why don't skeletons play church music?

Lancifer: Because they don't have any organs!

Zombie Elvis: What's a mummy's favorite music?

Zombie Joplin: Ragtime.

Joke sources for this blog: The Silly Little Book of Monster Jokes, and the site Monster Jokes. Last three photos sent to me by Craig Wichman. Thanks, Craig!

Vintage Halloween photos and graphics

2011-10-11T04:50:00.001-05:00

Hello, Halloween-loving kids-at-heart! It's nostalgia time!

From a past eBay auction comes this image of a page from a 1963 issue of Jack and Jill magazine for children. Apparently the original page is much lighter in color, but the flash from the camera has made the image brighter in the middle and darker elsewhere, making the art even spookier.

Below are photos I took of black-and-white images I found in an old cookbook that I found at a thrift store. They didn't have the best contrast and were kinda blah looking. So I tweaked 'em and played with the color:

This post is making me hungry! Hmm, I could eat some Old Crow, or maybe Wild Turkey...

Here are some vintage spooky graphics for kids I found online. Posted in backwards-descending chronological order.

Here's proof that Shirley Temple was once a Satan-worshipping sorceress:

Last, here's an unintentionally funny scan from the October 1963 issue of the now-defunct craft magazine Pack-O-Fun:

Here's a Halloween party as envisioned by the Pack-O-Fun editors. Let's see-- a gypsy girl is ignoring the attention of a Klansman, the Headless Horseman has had his head handed to him by Peter Pan and Hopalong Cassidy's sidekick, while a Native American wanna-be prepares to whiz on the floor. (Can't handle his firewater!) At bottom (no pun intended) a cruel bony dom and a devilish dominatrix force two male slaves to eat like animals.

Halloween Cheesecake

2011-10-03T03:20:00.002-05:00

Saw this card at a store--I forget which one--and had to have it. A really cheesy cheesecake photo on the front of a Halloween card? Oh yeah, that's for me.

It's a Hallmark card, so is likely found at any major retailer that sells cards.

If you like gore*, Hallmark has a "splatter" e-card for Halloween! It's available for sending when you subscribe to their online card service for one year, which costs $12. But you can watch and preview the card without subscribing here.

*of a vegetarian sort

Celebrate Halloween with Franken-fromage!

2011-10-02T15:07:00.015-05:00

I've seen some pretty cheesy Frankenstein items in my time.

And there is concern by some environmentalists about the creation and sale of "Franken-foods."

But this is the cheesiest Franken-food I've ever seen!

From a past issue of Taste of Home magazine comes this picture of a Frankenstein-shaped cheeseball. Perfect for guests who come over to watch Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster.

Below, you can read the recipe for this creepy cheesy comestible by clicking on the photo to enlarge it.

At the Taste of Home website, you can also see their online Halloween articles here, and read Christy Hinrichs' recipe for making "Dracula cookies" here.

Bone appetit!

The Demonic Digital Device

2011-10-01T02:12:00.008-05:00

When I was a kid, the magazines CREEPY and EERIE kept the spirit of Hallowe'en burning in me all year 'round. In one of them, I was introduced to the legendary device of dark magic, the hand o' glory.

The hand o' glory was a murderer's severed hand used as a candle, and was alleged to be used by thieves and killers, as it had the power to keep asleep any one inside a home that the user trespassed into. In the magazine story I read as a yoot, a criminal using a hand o' glory intends to steal from a family who have moved into a desolate mansion. But he finds to his surprise that they aren't kept asleep, because they do not live-- they're all vampires, and the criminal becomes their victim!

Never forgot that story.

My Halloween bride Jane the Voodoo Queen owns a 1961 book titled A Treasury Of Witchcraft. In its entry for "Hand of Glory" is this bit of verse:

Wherever that terrible light shall burn,
Vainly the sleeper may toss and turn;
His leaden eyes shall he ne'er unclose
So long as that magical taper glows;
Life and treasure shall he command
Who knoweth the charm of the glorious Hand!

--Ingolsby Legends (Thomas Ingolsby, 1788-1845)

So you can imagine my happiness in seeing see hands o' glory at my local Walgreen's drug store! Of COURSE I bought them!

When burning, these candles drip blood-red wax. What a cool touch.

Here's another Walgreen's Hand O'Glory candle-- this one is even nicer, being the color of mummified flesh.

Above I shared some lines of poetry about a hand o' glory that were written by a Thomas Ingolsby. Seems that the name is variantly spelled Thomas Ingoldsby (both being pen names for a Rev. Richard H. Barham, who lived 1788--1845.) Under the Ingoldsby name I found another whole, long poem by him involving a hand o' glory, and it can be read here. I recommend it, but it's not easy to just skim and enjoy, as it isn't short and it isn't contemporary. But I like it, and especially during in the Hallowe'en season, I am perfectly happy to meet the past and all its traditions on its own terms.

Burglars using a hand o' glory were said to recite a poem when igniting it:

"Let those who rest more deeply sleep;
Let those awake their vigils keep.
O, Hand o' Glory shed thy light,
Direct us to our spoils tonight.
Flash out thy light, O skeleton hand,
And guide the feet of our trusty band."

Hate poetry? Want prose? Well, three short English folk narratives about the use of a hand o' glory can be read here, followed by two more gruesome German narratives of similar objects known as Thieves' Lights.

If you read all the links I've set up for you, you might acquire a taste for more morbid-looking hands of glory. Where can I find them, you ask. If you wish to buy this one,

(and of course you do, as it's a gorgeous piece of craftsmanship), then go to this page of the Miskatonic River Art Studio website, and you'll see it among the other hand-made items offered, or here to find ordering info.

What? You say you're saving all your dough for trick-or-treat candy? Just want to windowshop and see some interesting hands o' glory? Go look up Scotsman Gordon Rutter; the one below is in his collection:

And this one---
is on display at the Whitby Museum in Whitby, England.

Read more about the hellish "hand-le" (hand candle, natch) here.

____________________________________________

This post was originally published in two parts and in slightly different form in 2007.

What the Drunken Severed Head Drinks

2011-09-20T04:00:00.001-05:00

I, the Drunken Severed Head, drinks whatever you're having. Friends at this past week's Horror Realm con kept offering me vodka. Lots of vodkas. This blasted-looking zombie, raised from the dead by spfx makeup legend Tom Savini, told me to try Clique Vodka. (It's Tom's favorite.)

Other friends offered me these: Burnett's Orange Cream Vodka and Crystal Head Vodka, the spirit sold in the best-looking bottle on the market.

Vodka: Potatoes completely perfected! And a far better choice for putting in Jello than canned fruit cocktail.

And it's the main ingredient in the favorite drink of the legendary Bloody Mary! You know, the murderous spirit who can be summoned by chanting her name while looking into a mirror in a darkened room? Here's a video showing what she REALLY does when you call her:

And a funny cartoon about the fatigue of the folkloric ghost can be found here.

Bottoms up!

Improvement!

2011-09-06T18:03:00.000-05:00

I found this cartoon by Irving Roir in the 1952 book The Complete Bartender's Joke Book:

I liked it, but a way to improve it occurred to me. Here's the cartoon as I think it ought to be:

The hostess of the cocktail party is no longer looking in surprise at a prone drunken guest, but at a headless murder victim pointing his left arm in accusation. Is that really a body? Or is he a ghost appearing suddenly on the floor to confront his killers? Or perhaps the shared hallucination of the hostess and the man she is serving? Their faces betray their feverish consciences; no doubt she is the dead man's wife and the guest is her lover.

Yeah, that's gotta be it.

Oh my god...

2011-09-03T11:23:00.000-05:00

Does no one have taste anymore? Look at the banner found here, and you'll be surprised at what people want.

Don't look on a full stomach.

I got no body for "Killer Bodies"!

2011-09-01T00:58:00.003-05:00

Like other bloggers, I get freebie offers to review things: books, comics, films, etc. But never have I gotten an offer like the one from Adam and Eve Pictures. Chris (no other name given) of their PR department wrote to say, "I'm excited to introduce you to "Killer Bodies: The Awakening", an interactive, choose-your-own-adventure thriller on DVD." Thirty-two different possible dramatic outcomes were promised.

Here's the dvd cover art:

As you can see, I've censored some of the photo to keep on Blogger's good side, and--yep--it's a XXX movie! Chris went on to say this thriller would "revolutionize adult entertainment."

I had to laugh--imagine sending a movie designed to make one's naughty parts tingle to a severed head! I had to wonder why they'd approach me, since Lounge of the DSH isn't a porn site--so I guess they love me for my mind. But after warning them I wouldn't post any explicit photos or video, I told 'em to send it.

They did, and I watched it....very closely. It made my brain stiff.

Boy howdy, I've never seen a more fun-lovin', affectionate bunch! The cast of 14 male and female adult stars party like it's 19...no, not '99'--I guess like it's 1969. They play peek-a-boo, and poke-a-boo, and pin the tail on the--well, not a donkey, but, uh--well, I'll say a horse comes to mind. There were times when I was glad it wasn't in 3-D!

That is, the actors play around when they aren't chasing and shooting each other, (it's a thriller, remember) or subjecting the star to a brainwashing experiment not unlike the main plot device in The Manchurian Candidate. ('Cept it ain't as funny. as that classic.)

Here's star Tori Black showing off her lingual organ--I suspect she's related to Gene Simmons:

Performer Raylene evidently was in charge of party decor--here's a publicity photo where she seems to rubbing balloons on her sweater. (Static electricity will make them stick to the wall for an amusing effect.)

Well, that's the raciest photo I'll run in this post, so I might as well close, eh?

If you want to see more explicit photos or video, or if you want to read reviews (yeah, right), or if you want to actually BUY the movie, you can go to their definitely NSFW site HERE, you old sinner!

"Happy Birthday!" to the mother of us all

2011-08-30T02:00:00.003-05:00

Miniature portrait of Mary Shelley by Reginald Easton. Image found here. Copyright the University of Oxford.

On this day in 1797 Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin Shelley was born. Her novel Frankenstein is unique in its influence on the popular culture of English-speaking Western nations. (Of course, non-English-speaking nations have embraced her "horrible progeny" too.) The most successful Gothic novel ever--it has never been out of print--Frankenstein is the first truly important work in the literary traditions that came to be called "science-fiction" and "horror."

It was the work of the fertile imagination of a teenage girl! This fact forced male readers of the first half of the 19th Century to accept, if only grudgingly and privately, that women (or girls, really) were as capable of forcefully confronting dark themes and taboo topics as male writers. She was ahead of her time.

The writer Joyce Carol Oates deemed Frankenstein a unique novel, "if a novel at all;" an awkward patchwork blending Romantic, allegorical, and philosophical materials. (Not unlike Frankenstein's Monster himself.) Oates describes Frankenstein as being held together at its "deepest level" with subconscious elements that are "hallucinatory and surreal."

At the center of the unreal setting that seems to be Europe of the early Industrial Age is Frankenstein's "demon"--as the artificially created man is often referred to Shelley's book--who is both Adam and Satan: unique, alone, outcast.

And powerful only through anger and sin.

What horror-lover has not seen themselves that way? Who in our deliciously morbid community of fans has never identified with a glorious, destructive monster in a book or a movie?

Mary birthed the first monster of the modern age.We are all her stepchildren.

__________________

Related: My birthday wishes for Mary Shelley in 2007 (where I found a lesser-seen portrait of Mary, perhaps inaccurate) and 2009, when I talked to her ghost!

Casey: 30 Years Later

2011-08-25T12:00:00.011-05:00

In the middle of photo above is actress Beverly Bonner playing the prostitute "Casey" in Frank Henenlotter's cult fave, Basket Case; Ms. Bonner's appeared in nearly all of Henenlotter's films. Recently, she was in Pittsburgh at the Hollywood Theater screening of Basket Case to premiere a new one-act play she's written called Casey: 30 Years Later. The event was sponsored by the imaginative and fun staff of Pittsburgh's Horror Realm convention.

The premise is that Casey, even brassier and sassier than in her youth, now runs a call girl service for elderly hookers, and is visited by a young journalist who wants to interview her about the people--including the monstrous Belial--seen in the cult movie. (Belial, as it turns out, didn't die.) The show blurred the line between the world of the fictional Basket Case and the world of fans of the film, winkingly raising the idea that the movie was a documentary!

Belial!

Like the Henenlotter universe it sprang from, Casey: 30 Years Later was crass and tasteless.

And like Frank's films, it was also very funny! I laughed so hard at one point the row in front of me jumped--but they were laughing, too. I thought this was a smart event--more than a personal appearance of an actor at a film showing, this extended the movie's story. Henenlotter gave Ms. Bonner his blessing for the show because he enjoys her comedic talent. It was amply on display here, as she added bits of spur-of-the-moment improv that made the sketch funnier, such as when her costume threatened to malfunction during a cross! I also noticed that Ms. Bonner had written in a few of her better jokes from her stand-up act. (As a guy who supports recycling, I like it when material is saved from a data dump! I do it here all the time!)

Some lines were funny because they were sudden and surprising, and played almost like non-sequiturs. A sample, referring to Belial: "He's ugly as hell, but he knows how to handle a breast."

Beverly Bonner and co-star Michael Varrati on the "set" for Casey: 30 Years Later.

Sadly, equipment failure ended the movie halfway through the screening, but because Ms. Bonner's act followed the film, "Casey" saved the day!

Prior to the screening was an appearance by talented comic artist and writer, Joshua Emerick. Basket Case has been turned into a comic strip published monthly in the venerable horror mag, Fangoria, and Emerick is the man behind the art and text new feature. He spoke about his love of the film, how Henenlotter was at first afraid to consider the idea (Frank's now enthusiastically involved, suggesting ideas) and how his three year old daughter loves watching the original Basket Case with him. (!)

With Emerick was the comic's colorist, Eric Kochanski.

Beverly Bonner, Joshua Emerick, and Eric Kochanski

The host of the evening was Horror Realm's Barnabus Bailey. Below is Barnabus with actor and film blogger Michael Varrati. In his online film appreciation column, Varrati nails Henenlotter as being like a "12 year-old boy [who] finds the most disgusting things endlessly amusing." (Well, I never grew up either.)

Also in attendance was genre film reviewer and historian Tim Gross, who has long championed Basket Case as under-appreciated. I think cult horror fans agree!


Barnabus Bailey and Tim Gross.

The folks of Horror Realm asked me to interview Bev Bonner and Michael Varrati after the play, and it was a delight and a privilege.Ms. Bonner and Michael Varrati each talked about working with one of John Waters' recurring performers--Divine and Mink Stole, respectively--and reported that neither was anything like the loud, impulsive, vulgar screen characters they played. Ms. Bonner and Michael Varrati similarly agreed that for themselves as performers, outre material was more involving than any classic dramatic fare they've done.

Ms. Bonner, who studied at the National Academy of Dramatic Arts, said it had not prepared her for the phoniness and blandness of the Hollywood entertainment industry, and she far preferred to stay in New York.

Above, left to right: Max the DSH, Barnabus Bailey, Eric Kochanski, Beverly Bonner, Sandy Stuhlfire of Horror Realm, and Michael Varrati.

A lighted birthday cake was brought out at the end for Ms. Bonner to make a wish on. Ms. Bonner says she wants to present Casey: 30 Years Later at horror cons around the country, and I hope she gets that wish!

O my throbbing heart...

2011-08-24T03:07:00.001-05:00

Lara Spencer, a host for ABC's Good Morning America program, appeared this week as a bodiless head. This news makes swoon--one of my own kind at last on TV, and she's so beautiful and charming!

I've only seen this photo of Lara Spencer's newly freed (and free-floating) head--no video. Friends are telling me something about a "green screen" and it being an illusion, but I know what I see. A living severed head breaks the glass ceiling! About time!

Wish FRANKENSTEINIA "Happy Birthday!"

2011-08-20T12:57:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite blogs, Frankensteinia, is four years old today!

And proprietor Pierre Fournier's other blog, Monster Crazy, is three years old today!

Leave ol' Pierre good wishes!

Was the film BASKET CASE a documentary?

2011-08-19T02:42:00.001-05:00

You'll find out the startling answer to that question, and you'll learn who the people in the banner above are, this weekend!

Cool cartoons for a warm day

2011-08-18T03:56:00.001-05:00

I found some cartoons from Mad and The New Yorker on my hard drive that a friend photocopied and sent to me. All rights belong to the artists and magazines the cartoons appeared in and are shared here only temporarily.

Ah, the great black-and-white art of the amazing Sergio Aragones, a cartoonist who has been both prolific AND funny for several decades.

Currently at The New Yorker website, this cartoon from their regular feature "Caption Contest" is on display:

My favorite suggested caption reads "We're sorry about your cat, but he was eating the slower children."
It was submitted by Steven Woof of Aventura, Florida.

C'mon already! I've got a prize to give away!

2011-08-17T04:09:00.003-05:00

UPDATE : We have a winner! Congrats TDSH reader Bill Knox!

_______

Thanks to Shadows and Screams, I have a copy of GHOSTS: True Encounters with the World Beyond to give away! Been waiting for the last entrants. So the SECOND person to next message me at FACEBOOK gets the prize!

Well, whaddya think?

2011-08-15T04:05:00.001-05:00

Decided to do some re-arranging, some painting, and re-naming of the joint. Whadda ya think? It's all good? It stinks? Like everything the title? Like the title but little else? Talk to me, talk to me!

After you leave a comment, go take a look at this!

And yet another surprise is coming. The Drunken Severed Head's marching on, establishing a beachhead with other members of the monster kid army!

Special Makeup Effects: Strange Frankie!

2011-08-13T18:20:00.000-05:00

This post originally ran 9-6-07.

Scott Essman of Universal Studios shares this video of makeup whiz Kevin Haney recreating a famous Monster of filmland! As Essman wrote, "Kevin Haney created this Glenn Strange Frankenstein Monster prosthetic likeness makeup in 1999 for the original Jack Pierce tribute which was never staged. As such, this makeup was only applied one time, with assistance by Kenny Myers and Bill Corso. Eventually, Haney created a Boris Karloff Monster makeup that was used several times for tributes to Pierce and Frankenstein (1931)."

Help the Bob Burns movie get off the ground!

2011-08-12T13:33:00.002-05:00

Fan favorites Bob and Kathy Burns!

Artist/actor Frank Dietz and producer Trish Geiger are producing a documentary film about actor, horror historian/collector Bob Burns--and his wife Kathy--and how they have inspired so many people to pursue their own dreams.

BEAST WISHES will explore how these two amazing folks became the goodwill ambassadors of sci-fi fandom, and how their joy has influenced generations of artists, writers, directors and fans. But they need help, and they need it fast. (By Aug. 31!) Here's what Frank has to say:

"Bob and Kathy Burns are best known for their incredible collection of original movie props, housed in their Burbank, California museum, often known as "Bob's Basement." From the steel armature of the 1933 "King Kong," to the actual Time Machine from the classic George Pal film, from Glenn Strange's Frankenstein boots to the Queen Alien and the American Werewolf In London, Bob and Kathy's house is a treasure chest of movie monster memorabilia.

"We want to make this project a quality production, utilizing a professional crew and an experienced documentary editor. This, of course, requires funding. So, with Bob and Kathy's blessing, we have launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise the funds we need to complete our film.

"Kickstarter is a highly successful online platform by which creators can pitch their projects, and anyone can contribute to it's set goal. In return, the project offers rewards to those who pledge, from DVDs to T-shirts to trips to visit the stars in Los Angeles. The bigger the pledge, the greater the rewards.

"But Kickstarter is an "all or nothing" program. If we reach our set goal in the set time, we get the money. If we don't reach it, we get nothing, and the pledges are not collected. It's that simple. Trish and I have set our goal at the absolute minimum needed to shoot, although we could use more for promotion and distribution of the completed film. So we have 20 days to raise $11,000, or we go back to square one.

"If you would like to help us reach our goal, please visit our project page. There you will be able to watch a short test video we've created that gives an idea of the film's content, plus more information about BEAST WISHES, and a list of the cool rewards available for contributors.

"This is going to be - as Bob would say - a "really, really cool" project. We would all love to have you join us on this great adventure."

WIN "Ghosts: True Encounters with the World Beyond"

2011-08-12T01:04:00.002-05:00

Or, "How the Pun-ishing Heat Profited Me and May Profit You."

The blogzine Shadows and Screams, a site I recommended yesterday, awarded me a prize that I'm going to pass onto TDSH readers because I already have it! The prize is a copy of the book Ghosts: True Encounters with the World Beyond, by Hans Holzer. Fans of the history of paranormal activity who don't have this book shouldn't pass up this chance to get it!

First, I want to tell ya how I won the prize. Shadows and Screams has a prize contest every month, and for the occasion of this summer's scorching temperatures, asked readers for heat-related variations of classic horror film titles.

I jumped in like I was canonballing into a pool. The winning ones I submitted were DAMP PITS AND THE PENDULUM and TASTE THE SWEAT OF DRIPULA.* Others I sent in included these groaners:

The high-temperature drive-in double feature:

I SWEAT ON YOUR GRAVE / I HEAT YOUR SKIN

Starring Vincent Price:

THE FRY, RETURN OF THE FRY, and CURSE OF THE FRY

'80s horror:

ROAST IN PEACE

Grindhouse:
LAST UN-AIR-CONDITIONED HOUSE ON THE LEFT

Fortunately, Mother Nature's feverish days seem to be over, at least for a while. So enter the contest by messaging me on Facebook. (Look to the right for a link to friend me.) The tenth person to send me a message that includes an e-mail address that I can forward to Shadows and Screams wins the book!

* Don't these sound like some sort of fetish porn titles?

SHADOWS AND SCREAMS...

2011-08-11T10:58:00.004-05:00

...is a whimsical horror website I discovered last month, and I think might enjoy taking a tour there:

The dapper-but-insane host is ~~another geeky guy like me hiding behind a persona~~ creepy cemetery caretaker Myron Morbidio.Right now Myron's got up an interview with Lucy Chase Williams, a friend of genre great Vincent Price and author of the essential reference work The Complete Films of Vincent Price.

Morbidio also has monthly contests with cool prizes. For the rest of August, you can enter his Star Trek contest. (Trek creator Gene Roddenberry was born in August.)

Shadows and Screams says "our latest contest asks you to incorporate something Trek-ish into a well-known horror film title to create some fresh interstellar spookiness. Examples? How about Data of the Dead, FranKahnStein, or Who Sulu Auntie Roo?

"Whether you are an obsessive Trekkie, secluded in your basement compiling a list of inconsistencies in Deep Space 9 episodes, or just a casual fan, we invite you to better these offerings and those of your fellow entrants. The (ahem) most enterprising entrant will win his or her choice of 3 terrific recent sci-fi/horror films on DVD: The Mist (2-disc special edition), Splice, or Daybreakers."

Click here to read the rules and usual disclaimers. Hurry! Entry deadline is August 30

Cult movie actress Bev Bonner and me!

2011-08-11T08:44:00.000-05:00

This event held at the Hollywood Theater in Dormont, PA will also feature a Q & A conducted by ye olde Severed Head!

The evening finishes up with an after-party to celebrate Ms. Bonner’s birthday. Admission is $10 for the theater event and $5 for the after party (cash bar). VIP tickets will be available for $20, which includes balcony seating, a poster autographed by Ms. Bonner, an exclusive meet & greet and free admission to the after party!

All sponsored by HORROR REALM!

Get clubbed!

2011-08-09T00:53:00.003-05:00

Growing up, did you ever feel you were a weirdo? And now, you realize you've never grown up? Well, the Head says to head over to The Strange Kids Club, one of the grooviest and ghouliest blogzines I've ever seen. For the month of August, SKC is having a Homemade Halloween Costume Contest, where the chosen photographs will get these fabulous prizes: $125 in Halloween and Strange Kids Club-related merchandise including:

Nail Mouth Halloween Mask

Justin Mabry

based on original artwork by David Hartman

Corlen Kruger

SIGNED by FRED DEKKER

Glen Brogan

FREE copy of the SKC Comix Anthology #2 AND MORE! Go here to get more info, toots.

Also, this week the SKC is putting the spotlight on Jose Cruz, the man behind From Beyond Depraved and now the new site MEPHISTO'S CASTLE!

Jose has a wide-ranging curiosity (read: his mind wanders) and a love of horror and weirdness in all its forms, but is a "classic monster kid" at heart.

Check out his cool-looking new site and read what he has to say. That is, after you check out the SKC and what club owner and chief Rondal Scott has to share!

No one kicks the cranium.

2011-08-06T13:09:00.001-05:00

Have you seen this severed head practical joke on YouTube? Like some episode of the old Candid Camera, only creepy!

Amazing that no one kicks her head in frustration--thank goodness they didn't! Or even nudges her head with their foot to see if she's real or some some sophisticated electronic prop!

A Joker Gets Trumped, or...

2011-08-04T17:50:00.005-05:00

...My Connection to a Comedic Crime!

This young guy has made the news internationally, and I know him! He was arrested for trying to (allegedly) commit one of the dumbest crimes this year, and (allegedly) offering the lamest lie EVER to the detective who arrested him. His name's Micah Calamosca, and I worked with him for a couple of years, until a few months ago. He also assembled the computer I blog from!

The crime he (allegedly) tried to commit was carjacking a car from an undercover police officer. He then (allegedly) tried to get out of trouble by telling the police officer that he meant no harm--he was only doing it as part of the filming of The Dark Knight Rises, which is shooting here in Pittsburgh. You can read all about it at online news sources as far as England and Australia. An ABC news item on this can be found HERE.

A soft-spoken amiable kid, I never expected this from Micah. His friends are all very surprised. We wish him a better eventual future than his immediate one. Crime doesn't pay! (Hope tough guys in prison aren't soon singing him "For He's a Jolly Good Felon!")

A couple of comments I found in response to online news reports:

"Letters in his name rearrange to Ciao Cash, Calm Ma."

"That's what he gets for 'Robin' the officer!"

And apparently he too has a sense of humor about this turn of events, as I see he changed his "work" designation on his Facebook page to "Inmate at Arkham Asylum"!

Hoo boy!

Mad mags mad Max looks forward to!

2011-07-30T03:35:00.002-05:00

I've been lucky in meeting many ~~obsessive creeps~~ talented people as I go to weird events, horror film cons, or ~~blather on~~ participate in horror film forums. These ~~weirdos~~ friends get noticed, and often wind up working on horror magazines or in film. Horror magazines are undergoing something of a renaissance even as traditional outlets like bookstores become more scarce.Here's three examples of some of my friends' success in working in print:

Richard Shellbach and
UNDYING MONSTERS

Rich is a ~~really old pal~~ good friend who has long been a professional writer, and this past year has been writing for Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine. Now he will also be a featured columnist for a new magazine I'm dying to get my hands on--Undying Monsters.

This is issue two, which comes out the first week of August, and the cover art is by my pal Mark Maddox.

From the UM press release:

"Rich has written for Nickelodeon's "Are You Afraid Of The Dark?", NBC's "SpaceCats" and "ALF-Tales," Showtime's "Chris Cross" and was the season four Story Editor on the live action ALF series on NBC. He also wrote all three seasons of the syndicated series, "The Kids Café" and worked on children's holiday specials for Showtime." (Above right: Author Tim Lucas, artist Mark Maddox, and me self at the 2011 Wonderfest con.)

Here's Rich's banner. (Rich has never been a bouncer, or worked security for a Stones concert, so I have no idea where this photo comes from.) I'm sure he'll be a great asset to UNDYING MONSTERS, just as he is for FM.

Dwayne Pinkney and

SHADOWLAND MAGAZINE

Dwayne is an artist I've admired and championed for some years, as you can see from this blog post (which includes an interview), and from this one. I'm proud to say that the new Shadowland magazine discovered him through this blog, and have put his portrait of Lon Chaney from The Phantom of the Opera (a painting that first appeared publicly here at TDSH) on their premiere issue! Dwayne is also interviewed in this ish.

You can buy Shadowland at their web site. This new monster rag looks very promising, and has me more excited than Happy Hour at the morgue.

Dixie Dellamorto and Mr. Lobo with

HORROR HOSTS AND CREATURE FEATURES

Dixie and Lobo publish and edit the new mag Horror Hosts and Creature Features. As a former horror host for commercial TV station KXTV in Sacramento, CA, (the program Cinema Insomnia) Mr. Lobo has a keen appreciation for the subtle virtues and brash weirdness of cult movies. And he and Dixie are very interesting people to spend time with at horror conventions. I speak from experience!

The first issue is a little thin, but has a great article remembering the work and life of actor Al Lewis of The Munsters, some very nice pin-ups of retro-Goth model Thea Munster, original cartoon art by the noted illustrator and cartoonist Danny Hellman, and an interview with Count Gore De Vol, among other items. I'm glad to have my copy of issue one, and look forward to future giant gila monster-size issues. For sale here.

The value of SHOCK VALUE

2011-07-22T02:32:00.024-05:00

Below is my review of a book I was sent, titled Shock Value. It's a look at the men who shaped the modern horror film. Of all the free books I've been sent for review, this is one of the most impressive. I highly recommend it to all horror fans and lovers of film history.

It's too hot to go out now and do other things--add this book to your summer reading today, and spend some quality time with the masters of horror.

___________________________

In a valuable and engrossing new book, Shock Value: How a Few Eccentric Outsiders Gave Us Nightmares, Conquered Hollywood, and Invented Modern Horror, Jason Zinoman gives us a personality-driven, anecdote-rich look at the rise and fall of "New Horror" in American film.
Chronicling the revolutionary changes in horror movies that began in the late 1960s, Zinoman
traces the transition of the horror genre from "queasy exploitation fare to the beating heart of popular culture," as Zinoman puts it. He contends that Peter Bogdanovich, Roman Polanski, Tobe Hooper, and George Romero, among others, invented modern horror. And in so doing, they took horror from being a popular, profitable, but disreputable and marginal genre, to one that is as much respected and scrutinized as any element in pop culture.

The value of this new book is that will foster a greater appreciation for the influence of these filmmakers. The group includes includes men as diverse in style as John Carpenter, Steven Spielberg, Wes Craven, and Brian DePalma. Another plus: it includes a much-needed examination of the under-appreciated imagination and talent of Dan O'Bannon, the brilliant-but-bitter screenwriter who dreamed up 1979's nightmarish sci-fi film, Alien.

The New Horror usually rejected Gothic trappings in favor of mundane settings, lessened or dispensed with supernatural elements, and replaced traditional villains with unemotional murderers committing motiveless killings. Explanations were de-emphasized or dispensed with. Downbeat endings became common. Out with Vincent Price and Christopher Lee; in with Leatherface, interchangeable flesh-eating zombies, and films that replaced traditional horror trappings with a dread of encountering overwhelming and relentless, horror. It aimed for an atmosphere so intense as to be unbearable. This is the sharp observation by Zinoman that underpins his analysis.

One of my few criticisms of the book is that Zinoman overreaches a bit. This is especially noticeable when he says "Horror has become so pervasive that we don't notice how thoroughly it has entered the public consciousness...[It's] the show that goes on in our minds when we go to bed at night. The modern horror movie has not only established a vocabulary for us to articulate our fears. It has taught us what to be scared of."

Author Jason Zinoman.

Really? The dark conventions of the "New Horror" movie of the late Sixties and the Seventies arose with similar conventions in other film genres of the same period, (Easy Rider and Mean Streets come to mind) as a more politically- and socially cynical age emerged, and the mass production sameness of the studio system collapsed. Certainly what audiences became afraid of changed, but that could be said to be following current events as much as new film conventions. Zinoman seems to acknowledge this when he writes about Bonnie and Clyde, released shortly before the groundbreaking Rosemary's Baby. He says that gangster film "reinvented the gangster drama as a counterculture fable with two killers as glamorous and sexy antiheroes." This had been done before--1949's Gun Crazy is one example--but Bonnie and Clyde was a big success as it reflected the current zeitgeist as much it influenced it.

All that said, this book is certainly a "must buy" for modern horror film fans and film scholars alike, being the first serious examination of the birth of "modern horror" in American films. (Right now I'd say we're in a post-modern age.) The late Sixties and the decade of Seventies saw a new vitality in all kinds of films around the world (including horror films), and this book presents in rich detail the story of "New Horror" and the men who created it. (The careers and rivalries of O'Bannon and Carpenter, from their time as fellow students at the USC film school, through the production of their feature collaboration Dark Star, and into very diverging paths afterwards, are especially well-documented.) This sort of journalistic "behind the scenes" approach makes for fascinating reading.

Until its gradual demise in the 1980s, as special effects and an ironic film buff-consciousness became dominant elements in shaping genre movies, "New Horror" was a fruitful time in American film, and Zinoman has described and explained the movement beautifully .

Gills and gals

2011-07-20T16:39:00.009-05:00

My previous post on a crass, goofy and revolting douche commercial got me to thinking about women and how we obsess over their parts instead their..uh, whole. (Perhaps I should say "entirety.")

That reminded me of me of a cartoon I found in a 1955 book, "Furthermore Over Sexteen." (Yes, they really do underline the "sex" part in case you can't spot it as a syllable in a larger word.) It's a collection of cartoons and jokes from a "men's humor" magazine of the time.

I like this cartoon and its playfulness in imagining variations in mermaids. Also, I see its open and honest, un-sublimated mild sexism as less annoying or harmful than the patronizing but seemingly "pro-woman" sexism of that Summer Breeze commercial. The social mobility of women is better now than then, thankfully, but a certain innocence in portraying gender relations is gone.

Besides this book of cartoons, I also happened to recently purchase a figure from The Nightmare Before Christmas from a dollar store. It's a female creature inspired by the classic film Creature From the Black Lagoon.

Ain't she a beaut? No tossing her back--she's a keeper!

The one and only...?

2011-07-20T15:47:00.004-05:00

When I set up my Facebook account to reach out to friends of this blog, I never thought I might be seen as just one of a set of "Max Drunkenseveredhead"s:

Wrong Max Drunkenseveredhead? Search through all the others until you find the one you're looking for!

The most horrifying film ever made!

2011-07-19T21:05:00.010-05:00

Dear reader, if you are of a delicate nature, do not watch the film below. It may disturb you...it may even horrify you. It crosses boundaries of taste, even sanity, that no man or woman should ever cross.

Now all my memories of Senor Wences and his toothless pal Johnnie are forever ruined. And
now I can't stop remembering a certain segment of The Groove Tube.

I see that the talking character here is bald. I guess I should be grateful there was no fuzzy wig involved, though maybe wild Wishnik/Troll doll hair might have been, um...not "cool," but memorable, anyway. Funny, too. Googly eyes, too, would have been great, but might inspire nightmares.

Hey, does a man need a passport to go to the land mentioned (shouted, really) at the start of the commercial? (I think a certain bitter, divorced friend of mine might say, "Yeah, good looks and lotsa money--that's the passport you need.")

What's next, a similar commercial with a manly hand for Preparation H? (Oh, you just know that parody we'll be up on YouTube soon.)

[Related link: Senor Wences on The Muppet Show]

Ever have days like this?

2011-07-18T04:17:00.003-05:00

Days when you just need your clear your head of debris?

Days when the world says, "Aw, stick it in your ear!" (And that's on a day when the world is feeling polite!)

The above tnt cartoon is from the t 'n' a cartoon collection " Furthermore Over Sexteen" (1955). It appeared at a time when "sick" humor was having something of a revival; if you remember "Little Willie" jokes, you're probably a Baby Boomer. (The macabre and mordant "Little Willie" poems were actually written in the early part of the 20th century by the English poet Harry Graham, and I'm guessing they may have been a satirical response to the corny poem "Little Willie" by the saccharine American poet Eugene Field.)

This post is dedicated to my friends Pierre Fournier, Rich Shellbach, and Terry Ingram, whose calls and messages got me through a rough and depressing week plus. T'anks, tops!

Today's funnies

2011-07-14T02:22:00.000-05:00

Here's some multi-panel weirdness found elsewhere that made me smile. I mean, what else is more delightful than robots, polar bears, booze, flying saucers and lasers?

Above found here.

Cyanide and Happiness is a six-year-running web comic with a ~~happy, sentimental~~ snappy, cynical slant that I like a lot. Find more C & H here.

I crashed over at Sean's!

2011-07-12T01:58:00.004-05:00

Hello creeps and peeps!

Well, being gone from this site for quite some time, I'm all a-myoo-zed to see the number of my followers INCREASE while I wasn't posting here!

Yesterday, I followed up on an invite from my friend "Spooky Sean" Thompson to crash at his sibilantly-named pad, Spooky Sean's Spooky Bloggery. So I guested over there for one post--on posters!--which you can see at this link.

What's coming, kumquats!

2011-07-09T12:48:00.002-05:00

Here are images of upcoming posts, seen at this URL and elsewhere:

COMING SOON

2011-07-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

SEVERAL SURPRISES TO YOU ALL

Witches on the Road Tonight!

2011-05-07T02:40:00.001-05:00

VERY HAPPY to share my review of the book WITCHES ON THE ROAD TONIGHT! The 1rst serious novel to have a horror host as its central character! Proud to also have an interview with critically praised author Sheri Holman! Please check it out here:

http://www.famousmonstersoffilmland.com/witches-on-the-road-tonight/

A sci-fi "holiday"and...

2011-05-05T20:17:00.004-05:00

...a "si" holiday! I'm two days too dazed! (What else is new?)

I had no idea that yesterday was a holiday, until this lady walked into my place of work:

I asked why she was wearing Jedi clothing, and she told me "Because of the date."

[Read the whole post here!]

EasTERROR!

2011-04-25T01:47:00.002-05:00

How I spent my Easter with a deadly creature and a wonky computer:

Famous Monsters » The Drunken Severed Head

www.famousmonstersoffilmland.com

"I wish my Easter basket for TDSH readers was filled with a ginormous assortment of colorful images for weird people like you and me. Except my computer has been behaving badly for weeks now, and the $225 I paid for a “computer professional” to fix my problems over two visits has resulted in my co..."

Read more here.

Wish me luck with my computer--I'd believe in the Easter swamp leech if it would get a computer that worked right consistently!

2011-04-17T02:03:00.006-05:00

Undead onslaught not slowing

"Been wondering if the pop infatuation with rom-zoms (Romero-style zombies) is on the skids in the United States. I mean, wasn’t their fifteen minutes up some time ago?

"Happily, I have to say I don’t think so. “Zombie walks” and other zombie events are increasingly popular. The Walking Dead comics have had enormous sales, and a second season of the show based on them begins in October. The zombie apocalypse of Resident Evil keeps gamers busy. Undead flesh-eaters just keep a-comin’."

More news.

2011-04-05T21:42:00.002-05:00

A few posts that I promised would appear here will still appear here at this site. Check in sometimes, follow or subscribe for those. (Kind of like having an estate sale in the old house where only ghosts now tread.)

My thanks to everyone who checked out my blog (and articles) at Famous Monsters of Filmland website. Comments MOST welcome!

Moving day!

2011-04-02T03:33:00.003-05:00

It's a very moving day for me because I was asked to take my blog to a website with a name I am very, very fond of: Famous Monsters of Filmland.

That was the name of a magazine that taught me genre film history as I was growing up. It taught me an appreciation for the talents before the movie camera and those behind it, telling about men and women like Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, Fay Wray, James Whale, Jack Pierce, and so many more.

It taught me wordplay with it's emphasis on punning titles and headers.

It gave me a familiarity of the classics when a chance to actually see one was none too high in those pre-cable, pre-Internet days.

So I am moving TDSH to the Famous Monsters website. At least, nearly all my future blog posts will be there. This Blogger version will remain as an archive and possibly as a host for some occasional special projects. Don't know yet what to do, except I am stoked and fired up to be doing my future posts there.

Come on over! Click HERE and be transported to the new spot!

ADORABLE HORROR MONTH!

2011-04-01T08:19:00.006-05:00

Today marks the first day of ADORABLE HORROR MONTH! OMG!

THIRTEEN BLOGS WILL BE PARTICIPATING!

The kickoff post for this 30 days of fun and sweet-natured terror is a loving tribute to Night of the Lepus, found over at Arbogast on Film!

If you want to let ppl know what YOUR blog will post about for this very special month, leave a description in the comments!

Tomorrow: Pierre Fournier of FRANKENSTEINIA puts up his first webcam post, where he explains the historical context and nutritional information of Frankenberry cereal!

FRANKENSTEINIA wins!

2011-03-31T06:07:00.005-05:00

The Rondo Awards for 2010 were announced last night, and in the category of "Best Blog" Pierre Fournier's FRANKENSTEINIA won the prize!

And I voted for him, so I feel an eensy-- teensy bit helpful in the outcome I'd hoped for!

Mary Shelley, somewhere, is smiling.

Congratulate Pierre at his blog and/or at the blog's Facebook page.

Big things

2011-03-26T07:53:00.005-05:00

http://blog.seva.ca/?p=929

http://community.webshots.com/photo/fullsize/1430846415059658987NTrtzs

http://crystellalim.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/christiania/

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/outposts/2011/02/327-pound-alligator-gar-possible-new-world-record.html

History of an undying story

2011-03-26T03:26:00.004-05:00

1818: Mary Shelley publishes her most influential and lasting novel, Frankenstein. Sir Walter Scott later praises it.

1823: Richard Brinsley Peake's Presumption: or the Fate of Frankenstein, the first stage adaptation of the novel, is performed.

Halloween, 1836: The first "popular" single volume edition of the novel appears.

1882: The first cartoon version of the monster appears in Punch magazine in England. The monster appears in an editorial cartoon and is meant to symbolize Ireland.

1910: Edison Studios release the first film version of Frankenstein.

1931: The novel is substantially altered when adapted into a film for Universal, starring Colin Clive and Boris Karloff, and becomes the most iconic and influential version of the story.

1952: The first adaptation of Frankenstein for television appears on the program Tales of Tomorrow.

1957: Hammer Studios begin a series of popular films employing the character of Victor Frankenstein and his creation.

THEN---

August, 2007: The blog FRANKENSTEINIA debuts. The creation of writer and cartoonist Pierre Fournier, it becomes THE premier source of online information about all things Frankenstein-related in popular culture, history, and the arts.

MARCH 2011: It wins the respected Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Award because people like YOU vote for it. If YOU haven't voted for FRANKENSTEINIA in the Rondo Award "Best Blog" category, YOU still have time! UNTIL MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, MARCH 26. (The ballot says March 27, but insists on midnight Saturday.) VOTE here NOW!

Rondo Award news flash! A major scoop!

2011-03-24T02:42:00.007-05:00

It has come to my attention (via a reporter friend with hacking skills) that a wave of write-in votes has flooded the Rondo Award polling in the "Best Blog" category.

The following blogs seem to be getting a last minute surge of votes:

Spooky Spooky Boo Boo!
Thrift Store of Direct-to-Video Slasher Flix
My Halloween M&M Collection
No Sucky Monsters
Drive-In Movies That Made Me Sh*t Myself
If Tura Satana Were a Gunslinger, There Would Be a Whole Lot of Damp Pants
Wankensteinia
So What If I Like Scary Crap?
Scream and Cream Again
The Jess Francophile
The Castle of Terror Horror Scans

Only you can prevent them from winning. VOTE TODAY IN THE RONDO HATTON CLASSIC HORROR AWARDS.

My thanks to my friend (who will remain nameless) for sharing this undercover investigation with me. Julian Assange would be proud.

Nominated for a RONDO for "Best Article"

2011-03-20T16:37:00.004-05:00

To read a version of the Rondo Award-nominated article "The Greatest Ghost Story Ever Heard" go to this post and this post here at TDSH. You have until Saturday at midnight (Mar. 27) to vote--go HERE for the official ballot. Make sure you include your name.

I was very happy to run this guest article by Craig Wichman, which originally appeared in a somewhat different form in the magazine Nostalgia Digest.

More Zombie Gras photos

2011-03-19T03:58:00.008-05:00

As introduced in this post, here are more photos from the recent Zombie Gras event, organized by the fine frightening folk who put on Horror Realm every year.

There were cool vendors, including artists:

And filmmakers--
And there were interesting panels, like this one with the stars of the underrated classic Day of the Dead:

There were workshops, such as one on self-defense in a zombie apocalypse:

And of course, plenty of zombies and horror fans there to have a good time--

This is zombie Sandy Stuhlfire, one of the organizers--

This is the platter spinner of the dance party, DJ Zombo:

He got zombies to show some rhythm!

Some preferred to dance close:

Speaking of close, I think I'll close here! Go check out this link to see LOTS more photos from Zombie Gras!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T01:09:00.020-05:00

Image source: Elfwitch.com

Do you do anything to commemorate the day?

I'm trying to decide whether to watch that classic Disney horror film, Little Ol' Darby and the Gill People (I really like the part where drunken mermaids and fish-men start battling it out with shillelaghs!) or Sodom and Begorrah. (A different kind of shillelagh gets used in that, and there's no fighting--but there is a lot of action.)

St. Patrick, the Terminator of snakes.

If you want to read a very "foin" article on the history of Irish horror film, read film scholar Kim Newman's excellent "Irish Horror Cinema."

Or, if you have time to skim only, you may want to check out this list of 10 great Irish horror movies.
But what's your hurry? Read! Have a beer! Play this Stu Venable video of the song "I Love You (Beer)"! (Just so you know, the lyrics are a little risque and may seem just a wee bit sexist, so it's NSFW.)

I've always had a weakness for Irish women. I admire their strength--and to me, they all look like this:

Erin go braless!

Wouldn't it be a grand thing if St. Patrick's Day were celebrated like a "real holiday"? This commercial for Guinness imagines just that!

The Voodoo Queen and I will celebrate with the traditional store-bought zombie leprechaun cake:

Image source: Flickr acct. of Karen Portaleo/Highland Bakery

Irish a "Happy St. Paddy's Day" to you all!

Rondo Award-worthy: TOO MANY CREEPS

2011-03-14T00:48:00.014-05:00

This blog was the place of first publication for the play TOO MANY CREEPS, an affectionate "dramedy" (and sometimes farce) about a fictional last film project set to star horror stars Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi. Other featured characters include genre greats Peter Lorre, Lon Chaney, Jr., and John Carradine. And also Ed Wood! Written (and illustrated!) by Ted Newsom of Flesh and Blood fame, it's perhaps the wittiest piece of fiction incorporating real-life film stars I have ever read, and features a touching final "confrontation" between Boris and Bela that moved me. I was honored to run it here.

It is nominated for a Rondo Award for "Best Fan Event" as a reading of it was performed last year by a uniformly fine cast. Among the stellar performers are scream queen Brinke Stevens, splatterpunk author David J. Schow as Peter Lorre, author/film historian David Skal as Bela Lugosi, and actor Mark Redfield (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Death of Poe) as Boris Karloff. Below in this post are videos of part of that reading, which took place at the Monsterpalooza con last year.

Any other year, the entertaining, informative, and sometimes emotional reunion of the cast of Night of the Living Dead that occurred at the Famous Monsters Con would get my vote, but Too Many Creeps is a classic and just edges it out for me. I hope the events tie, but I'm plugging the play, which was not as well publicized and needs votes. I hope you give it yours.

You may go here to review the Rondo Award ballot. Send in your votes in whatever categories you want to vote in. You may vote--or even amend a previous vote--until midnight March 27.

TOO MANY CREEPS is shared here in six parts. (Links are to the right.) Parts Five and Six of the play were taped at last year's Monsterpalooza convention. Here's the video--enjoy! (And vote! And spread the word!)

Seemingly coincidentally, I recently saw online this sculpture of a Peter Lorre-looking chef--

Image found here.

I was meant to find it--I just know it! From beyond, Peter Lorre is telling me that he approves of TOO MANY CREEPS! Do you need any other reason to vote for it?

To help Japan

2011-03-13T15:20:00.004-05:00

Here are some highly rated charities working on disaster relief in Japan:

AmeriCares (through Charity Navigator)

Red Cross (through Network for Good)

The Salvation Army (You can donate directly at the link, or text 'JAPAN' or 'QUAKE' to 80888 to make a $10 donation.)

Did everyone have a good Fat Tuesday?

2011-03-09T00:34:00.009-05:00

Mardi Gras came early for the Voodoo Queen and I--last Saturday, as a matter of fact. A horror mini-convention/Mardi Gras dance party called "Zombie Gras" was put on here in Pittsburgh by the indefatigable, creative, and fun-lovin' folks of Horror Realm.

Let me share some of the sights with ya. It was such a hot event a certain zombie with tiger blood and rock star DNA showed up:

And brought a goddess:

More goddess:
Loves me some blue, mottled zombie goddess! Yessir!

Tried to see any if goddesses wanted to earn beads the old-fashioned way, but no one wanted to. This attendee made her point plain:

And this goddess ran to her mummy:

More photos to come.

Me want!

2011-03-08T21:06:00.001-05:00

Via Jessica at Horror Society:

Life imitating art

2011-03-07T00:15:00.002-05:00

Life sometimes imitates the cinematic arts, and recently I came across two examples.

In a scenario straight outta The Manchurian Candidate, Robert Kennedy's assassin Sirhan Sirhan is now claiming to have been hypnotized into killing the famous former senator and attorney general. Sirhan (who was NOT ever, but should have been, a resident of Walla Walla) is currently up for parole, though he's unlikely to get it.

You can hear a report of this claim on National Public Radio's audio archive; the news was reported on their program All Things Considered. A bonus bit of yuks is hearing host Michele Norris clearly say "hyp-ma-tized" for "hypnotized." (Not surprising-- but mildly dismaying--is the fact that NPR's transcript of the program corrects Norris' mispronunciation.)

Michele Norris, in a trance, is made to do "jazz hands."
Behind her, a man chews on the wrong end of a lollipop.
Original image by Alex Wong/ Getty Images here.

A second recent instance of life aping the movies--specifically, adaptations of the story The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, was found in a press release by the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office in Oregon. As a follow up to their educational 2005 media project Faces of Meth, the office has released From Drugs to Mugs, a series of mug shots that show how hard drugs like meth, heroin and cocaine can radically changes the looks of those addicted to the illicit substances. Here, purely for educational purposes of course, are some of the most shocking of those transformations:

Warning: Use of hard drugs can turn you into Keith Richards.

Here's a sad Jekyll and Hyde image from the 2005 Faces of Meth:

Back to From Drugs to Mugs-- and life imitating the movie Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (except for the gender change part):

Here's Barbara Steele from the horror classic Black Sunday (La Maschera del Demonio):

And here's her contemporary, real-life counterpart:

Eeeeeeeeeeek!

Read more as reported by the Daily Mail in England. (Yep-- a news story from the U.S. getting better-written, more detailed coverage overseas than here. Sigh.)

_________________________

More! MORE! MORE!

2011-03-04T19:52:00.000-05:00

Sorry that there hasn't been much posted lately, but that's due to a injury limiting my time at the keyboard. However, the Voodoo Queen will be assisting in getting some partial posts ready, and after that, a big announcement will soon be made here.

Please stand by.

200,000 MANIACS!

2011-03-03T20:54:00.005-05:00

Today The Drunken Severed Head got its 200,000th hit! HOO-HAH!

Below is a snapshot of typical TDSH readers:

Actually, this is art by digital illustrator Brett Dewall, but I think he must've worked from a shot of my readers. And a shot of absinthe, too--which is always good for the artistic soul. Makes the heart grow fonder...

For those of you who don't follow me on Facebook, here's a pic I put up on my wall there of Tor at the blog's birthday party:

Tor celebrate anniversary of blog by attempting to eat Drunken Severed Head! BAD TOR! BAD!

New Facebook page

2011-02-28T22:34:00.007-05:00

If you're on Facebook, I hope you'll check out something I created for all the fans of FRANKENSTEINIA who have voted, or will be voting, for Pierre Fournier's magnificent, monstrous blog in the Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards:

Fans of Frankensteinia Rondo Award Project

Feel free use this image at your own blog, or page:

This project was created without the input of Pierre Fournier, but I hope the support for him will be strong and I'm happy to say so! Hope he doesn't mind my fanboy admiration and appreciation. All the nominated blogs have merit, but this year I'm giving my vote and support to the blog that has best brought attention to the king of classic monsters, Mary Shelley's Monster.

4TH Birthday of TDSH!

2011-02-27T02:57:00.023-05:00

Today's the fourth birthday of this blog. As cake is the "official" dessert of birthdays, I went window shopping on the web to find you all some cakes of the weird kind. Here, try some.

First some cognac cake:

(Cake made by Russian artist Zhanna Zubova)

Or some "Severed head and Lilliputian zombies" cake:

Image source here. (Flickr account of The Bleeding Heart Bakery)

(Perhaps it's a"Brobdingnagian severed head and regular-size zombies" cake.)

I need more head! I mean, we need more heads! Of the monstrous variety:

Image source here. (Via Flickr account of The Ladygloom)

What? You say a cake with a severed head needs a headless body with it? Okay...

Image source here. (Via Flickr account of lynndy-lou)

A cake just maid for the likes of me! (Groan all you want. It's my party and I'll pun if I want to!)

Perhaps you'd rather have some breakfast. Here's some egg for you:

Image source here. (Via Flickr account of auroracakes/Dawn Leckie)

A cake worth taking out A lien for!

Finished your cognac and need something else to wash away the taste? Here's some Old Crow you'll be ravin' about:

Here's a cake that says "Bone appetit!":

Image source here. (Via Flickr account of Karen Portaleo/Highland Bakery)

Many zombie fans read this blog. Here are two cakes just for you:

Image source here. (Via Flickr account of Karen Portaleo/Highland Bakery)

Image source: Flickr account of Courtneyscakes

For WTF whimsicality, nothing beats a "Tranformer-wearing-Groucho-glasses cake":

Image source: Flickr account of The Ladygloom

We need music for this party. Here's an organ:

Tired of birthday cake? Here's a "Mutilated shark" wedding cake for more delicious "hunh?" flavor:

Image source here. (Via Flickr account of The Ladygloom)

You must be tired of cake by now, so here's a "butt cake" to look at to kill your appetite:

Image source here. (Via Flickr account of Kreationaces Kity)

My thanks to all my readers, with a special thanks to my followers, commentators, guest posters, interviewees, supporters, and critics. All of you kept me posting.

All uncredited photos were ones I was unable to trace to their source.

Nightmarish neoteny

2011-02-24T16:54:00.022-05:00

"What Do Cute Versions of Monsters Tell Us About Horror?"

That's the question a number of LOTTD (League of Tana Tea Drinkers) bloggers are considering this week. (The other talkers 'round the round table this time are TheoFantastique, The Groovy Age of Horror, Cinema Suicide, The Vault of Horror, Dr. Gangrene's Tales From the Lab, Monster Magazine World, Strange Kids Club and the estimable site Classic Horror. All great horror bloggers.)

The answer is...nothing. Nothing at all. But they do tell us something about ourselves.

Horror as a multi-media genre outgrows its icons like a snake that sheds its skin multiple times over the course of its life. And so, as Curt Purcell observes at his Groovy Age of Horror blog, "Cute, funny monsters are the endpoint of an instinctive and damn-near inexorable progression that begins the moment we're exposed to something frightening."

Curt sees this as an instinctive function of the most primitive part of ourselves. He (via quotes by zoologist Konrad Lorenz) likens it to the process by which a raven, exposed to a new object, instinctively avoids it, then observes it for some time, then examines and attacks it, and finally winds up by hiding the object, if small enough to be carried away. This is not unusual. A compelling but careful curiosity about strange (and potentially dangerous) items or creatures, leading to eventual disinterest when nothing harmful happens, is seen in many species.

But human beings take this further. We don't simply toss into history the monstrous characters that most frighten us, we make parody versions and juvenile versions--in that order--when the power of these characters lose their hold of the popular imagination. The "endpoint" is the juvenilization of the characters until they are forgotten, at which point a "rebirth" of that character is possible.

From this...

...to this:

(Top image found here, above original image here.)

The flat-headed Frankenstein Monster with neck electrodes, so astonishing a film image in 1931, was being lampooned and made safe for family audiences and kids' matinees by the 1940s. The regression and weakening proceeded apace each decade. From Frankenstein in '31 to Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein in '48 to I Was a Teenage Frankenstein in '57 to lovable Shrimpenstein in 1966.

This juvenilization is not unlike what happens to human beings, where individuals may live long enough to become weakened, and as dependent and powerless as children.

My favorite monsters--the classic Universal film versions of Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula, and the Wolf Man-- are in such a state now.

How does society sell things that have been around a while, whether those things are tangible goods or ideas? By "reinventing" or "re-imagining" them. By saying "This ain't your father's [fill in the blank]." With horror, it also seems a sort of cultural Oedipal complex--men wanting to symbolically kill their forefathers in fright. Interest in horror, though appealing to more and more females (thank the dark gods!), is still a genre that involves men-- both as artists and audience-- more than women. Perhaps it is a sort of cultural Oedipal complex.

Each generation wanting to have its own cultural style and interests, its own myths and monsters, has been a fact of social life for eons. But in the past, a more deeply ingrained interest in the "classics" and the lore and iconography one's heritage was the norm. Now, with instant communication allowing what is "new" to be redefined every day, and with so very many "new" media artifacts to inform, entertain or distract us available, who has time for "old" things except the old? In modern cultural chronology,, a "generation" is no more than a few years. Nightmares of the past are merely food for the worms of nostalgia today.

But it's not just limited to horror icons from as far back as the 1930s and '40s of course. A Nightmare on Elm Street was remade last year, and while it had the power to create shock and suspense, it had no power to create a splash in the pool of popular opinion. Came and went and left little buzz behind it.

A form of entertainment neoteny is evident as well. Neoteny, just in case you aren't a scientist or a person with perfect recall of your high school biology lectures, is a process in developmental biology where the adults of a species retains traits seen before only in juveniles of the species. In evolution, the neotenous form can become the norm; an example is the continuance of gills throughout life in some salamanders. With monsters (and other characters in pop culture) new "baby" versions of old characters appear, with heads and eyes disproportionately larger in size. Such infant proportions and smoother, simpler faces (read blander) are the hallmarks of a "cute" monster. You see it every Halloween in toys and decor for the season.

But I thank Cthulhu everyday I can still sense the uncanny even in monsters no longer widely feared. I joyful that I am still susceptible to the now-subtle otherworldly vibe from monsters, mutants, and mutilated madmen in old films, old books, and comics. I celebrate the occasional well-crafted contemporary attempts to squeeze a few more scares from the ancient goblins.

They live until their fans are all gone...and then they wait, like King Tut's cursed tomb, to be re-discovered in all their weird power by people (and who knows--perhaps androids?) yet to live.

Winter reveals

2011-02-24T04:52:00.006-05:00

Here in Pittsburgh, the ten inches of snow we got on Monday started to melt yesterday. As the day warms up above freezing again today, more of the snow cover will disappear. I wonder if we'll see anything like this:

Original image found here.

Image found here.

Wouldn't that be a fun surprise, kids? The last image is a detail of a larger painting by a talented young artist named Matt Ellis; the full image can be found here.

No, it isn't Nov. 2012...

2011-02-19T15:39:00.006-05:00

But I'm going to ask you to vote today!

Do you read Pierre Fournier's FRANKENSTEINIA blog? If not, you should. It covers all things related to Frankenstein in pop culture, literature, film and history around the globe. It's popular and penetrating, enthusiastic but not shallow, smart but not cerebral. It's a fantastic trip for all lovers of Western-style horror narratives and imagery.

It's nominated for a Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Award again this year, and I'm asking YOU to vote for it! It has not won yet, but did come in second last year, surprising many--including me!

I'm passionate in my belief that Pierre Fournier deserves it-- and every vote counts because the winner may win with only a plurality of the vote. That's why I'm endorsing it.

Also endorsing FRANKENSTEINIA is Tim Lucas of VIDEO WATCHBLOG (via Facebook) Stacie Ponder of FINAL GIRL,. and Greg of CINEMA STYLES. They are all nominated, as is this blog, and all 3 are excellent reads. (Mine...meh.) Tim's blog won two years ago, I won last year, and Stacie's has yet to win, though it too deserves a Rondo--and I'm sure it will win one of its own in the near future. But this year, we're all voting for Pierre's superb work at FRANKENSTEINIA. (To the right you can see a "custom" Rondo award suitable for Pierre at the Rondo Awards ceremony in May, which is held at the Wonderfest convention in Louisville, KY.)

I'd like to share some of the best of FRANKENSTEINIA . Here's a dozen instances of the best of the blog, with links. (Click here for the Rondo ballot itself.)

1. One of the very best from 2010 was THE BRIDES OF FRANKENSTEIN, about the actresses considered for The Bride. Every one of 'em well researched, including Arletta Duncan, who appears as a Bridesmaid in FRANKENSTEIN, and illustrated with photos. The layout, with all the women shown in profile, was especially nice.

2. THE CEMETERY SKELETON. Pierre's paean to a memorable movie prop.

3. AFTER FRANKENSTEIN, which traced the careers of the principals from Edison’s Frankenstein in its centennial year.

4. SHE IS REAL! SHE IS ALIVE! FRANKENSTEIN OF THE FAIRGROUND. A post inspired by pics of freak show tents from British fairgrounds.

5. SCRAPBOOK FRANKENSTEIN. The cartoonist from a newspaper page saved by Jack Pierce gets tracked down and discovered to be involved in getting Boris and Bela to sing together on a radio show.

6. THE FUNERAL OF SHELLEY: THE ART AND THE REALITY. Pierre analyzes a famous painting.

7. MY TRIFLING EXPERIMENTS. Tracked the actors who played the homunculi in BRIDE.

8. THE AUSTRALIAN FRANKENSTEIN, about some BRIDE ballyhoo from down under.

9. THE BRIDE OF THE BRONX, about an unusual playbill.

10. FRANKENSTEIN IN PARIS, about a French postcard from 1908 which shows a theater advertising a Frankenstein stage play!

11. THRILLS AND CHILLS! THE SUPER-SHOCKER REVEALED. One of several posts about BRIDE ballyhoo and contemporary reviews of the film.

12. THE FIRST FRANKENSTEIN OF THE MOVIES, celebrating the 100^th Anniversary of the Edison film.

Finally, I think Pierre made a real discovery, spotting an unidentified (and perhaps unidentifiable) flying object in the 1931 FRANKENSTEIN, in his post A FRANKENSTEIN MYSTERY. A lot of fun.

Also, io9, the Gawker Media site about science fiction and fantasy, was impressed enough to re-post his piece FAIRGROUND FRANKENSTEIN, and THE FIRST FRANKENSTEIN OF THE MOVIES, celebrating the 100^th Anniversary of the Edison film.

Pierre also created some pretty special "special" posts. At the end of his year-long celebration of BOF's 75^th Anniversary, FRANKENSTEINIA ran a special ART OF THE BRIDE series, posting art every day from December 16 to the 31^st. It turned into an event of sorts, and was covered by popular and respected sites like Neatorama, Nerdcore and io9.

Another notable "special event" was the FRANKENSTEIN BOOK MONTH in October, reviewing Frankenstein-related books and showcasing book designs and illustration.

Well, if you've checked out the links and then read this far, you are no doubtby now a FRANKENSTEINIA fan par excellence. (In Pierre's honor, I have to throw in some French somewhere!) So vote for it, s'il vous plaît?

Links for anthropophobics

2011-02-18T01:02:00.002-05:00

Links to make you say "Oh, the HORROR!!" or "Eccchh!" or "How sad!" or even "How remarkable!" at what other people look like, do, say, make, and wear.

Tip steak? (It's pickle chicle!)

Vegan vulva cake (Not safe for work! Or lunchtime!)

A living man with half a head (This mans deserves to be pardoned for any non-violent crime.)

Smart phone outsmarts dumb guy (Verizon exemplifies a P. T. Barnum quote.)

One of a kind stuff made from dead things (Amazingly appalling arts and crafts! )

Chernobyl 25 years later: City of the dead (Haunting photos and stories.)

And now, a toe-tally tasteless (but funny!) tattoo:

Whoever this is above, I admire their attitude.

Finally, here's a story that's a great argument for not always following your parent's wishes, and against allowing pre-existing conditions to bar anyone from access to healthcare. It has a (mostly) happy ending:

Twelve pound tumor ruins man's face but not his spirit (Warning: graphic images)

The tumor was removed successfully.

Happy Heart Day!

2011-02-14T13:47:00.003-05:00

Here's a vampire I could get really exited about (I say "could" 'cause I'm a married severed head, and well, she's a painting):

More of a vampire in the "Theda Bara" sense, though I took a classic portrait by the great pin-up artist Gil Elvgren and gave it fangs.

So today is really "Fangsgiving!"

Protected as parody. Rights to the original reserved to the owner.

A friend and a frenemy

2011-02-13T13:42:00.005-05:00

The friend is Kiki La Mer, of the blog A Rockabilly View, who recently gave me an award. She feels I'm a "versatile blogger." Ms. La Meris pretty versatile herself, having re-invented herself a few times. (She used to be a "chav," she says--will someone tell me what that is?) She is the only person I know who wants to be buried in a giant lipstick, which is a pretty cool way to take one's dirt nap. Thanks much, Kiki (a/k/a Coral)! Kiki happens to be the name of my wife's cat, although sometimes I suspect it to be my wife's familiar.

As part of this compliment from ARV, I'm supposed to share seven things about myself. Soooo...

Before I became a severed head, I once created life in a laboratory. Dr. Elsa Kast and I had been drinking, and her biological clock was ticking, and she wanted a break from her work, and, um...

My middle name is "Vargo Tienda Consuelo de Las Rumpus-Rachmaninoff."

I am allergic to stoats and weasels but not ferrets.

I once spilled Thousand Island all over myself, but a beautiful waitress came over and undressed me.

I want to change the name of air hockey to "balloon juice puckwhack."

I once met Robert De Niro before he was famous.

I have trouble thinking up seven things to share.

But I can think of eight things, like the fact that at least one thing above is true!

Oh, heck--you wanna know more, go here and here.

_________

And now for the "frenemy." That is my blooging enemy (no , that's not a typo--she's a big ol' blooger!) Melissa Castro of the Edge of Forever blog, a vampire maniac who rambled on about something related to Pittsburgh's Super Bowl loss and zombies I could quite make out. (Either I was inebriated or she was-- I think it was her--if only I could remember!) She showed just how much pop-power zombies have right now by posting a Glee zombie dance in her post! She makes our "zombies versus vampires" blog wrestling so easy for me!

She also sent me this picture of something she says I need to use:

Guess she thinks I don't bathe, or can't handle myself in a zombie attack, or do both simultaneously. (And maybe I can't--but still...)

By the way, the soap above can be found here.

Well, Mel, I think you should use this--

I mean, you're no Buffy and will need all the help you can get. I think they sell these at Olive Garden, your favorite restaurant. Here are some other items to buy and recommend to your bloodsucker-enabling friends:

It's a box selling for $187 that contains an alleged "Vampire Immortal Transformation Spell" inside, which using will allegedly "make you stronger, faster, quicker and powerful." (A membership to a gym will do the same, and can be had for less, but I guess many of today's vampire fans are Barnum-bait.)

Hey, Mel, buy the box and then you'll have a place to store this hat (you're always talking out of one):

It's a hand-made cap with colors whose "inspiration" comes from "Edward Cullen's eyes." OOOOOOOH!

Yeah, I know--you're that rare modern vampire fan who doesn't like Twilight. So maybe these shoes are more your style:

Image found here.

How spookiwy pwecious dey are! I could just noms dem.

Or you could store this in it:

Image found here.

Dip it in hot water for vampire tea! Bleah, bleah!

Okay, THAT's enough o' that!

So many vampire fans today seem to yearn for a better domestic partner. Maybe if they had only met and married a nice, hot zombie doctor:

My thanks to the lovely and kooky Kiki, who is really a top, and to the crazy-but-dedicated Melissa, whom I use as a mop. Now I must stop.

Check out this colorful site

2011-02-11T13:56:00.001-05:00

Brand-new place for monster lovers to spend hours at:

Mark Thompsen's MONSTERZ

Highly recommended!

Melting snow means food, furniture, pets for zombies

2011-02-09T00:42:00.004-05:00

Image found here.

From the Associated Press:

"NEW YORK - The mountains of snow that have covered the Northeastern landscape for the past month and a half are finally melting, revealing oozing lumps of garbage, gaping potholes, bicycles, rat-infested sofas, discarded Christmas trees — even bodies."

Read more here.