In Memoriam, 2007: DeCarlo and Pickett

You are one of those people who enjoyed hearing "Monster Mash" air at Halloween, or enjoyed his "Star Dreck" played on the Dr. Demento show. And you're one of those people who grew up with "The Munsters", and were fond of it. For you, like me, this was a hard year: Bobby Pickett and Yvonne DeCarlo both died, and Baby Boomers and early Gen-Xers lost two pop-culture figures regarded with great affection.


This tribute image above of Bobby Pickett was created by my friend, artist George Chastain. Below is Pickett in his last years:


Here's a striking image of Yvonne DeCarlo, which can be seen in a large gallery of other beautiful Yvonne DeCarlo photos at the Skylighters site:



Click on the photo below to download this album from Ernie(Not Bert):

More sites to see to learn about Yvonne DeCarlo's life and to see pictures of the lucious lady who would later embody Lily Munster:

http://www.shanmonster.com/belly/gallery/decarlo/

http://www.vancouverhistory.ca/archives_yvonne.htm

And by clicking on the blog label "death notice", you can see previous TDSH entries marking the passing of Ms. DeCarlo and Mr. Pickett. An interview with Bobby Pickett is part of one entry.

Onward to 2008!

What's next? BREASTS?

So the Voodoo Queen and I are in a store making the yearly Christmas returns and exchanges, when I see, out of the corner of my eye, a photo of a beautiful woman on the cover of a magazine. So I look, and the "beautiful woman" next to the words "Hottest Beauties Of The Year" is...MICHAEL JACKSON???

Oh my god. Okay, so "Hottest Beauties Of The Year" apparently refers to an article NOT about Michael Jackson. But, from the photo of the former King of Pop, I'm guessing he's had more done to his face that makes him look ever more she-male.


Seems to me he oughtta get the re-assignment surgery once and for all and be done with it. By the time he gets around to it, he'll look less like Diana Ross and more like Miss Jane Pittman.

Metaphorically, he'd have greater cojones if he had no cojones.

And speaking of Diana Ross, go here and see what she looks like today. Either she has a Dorian Gray-style portrait of herself in a closet, or she passed away and we're seeing the animatronic Diana, like the robots in WESTWORLD. Or maybe she's been plasticized like those corpses from China now touring in museums in the BODIES exhibition. (It's currently here in Pittsburgh, and I sorta have a yen to go and see it.) She seems to have stopped getting older, and I wish I knew the secret of her preservation. Can't be alcohol, though. I've been pickled for years and it hasn't kept me an ageless beauty!

What did you get for Christmas?

I got some VERY weird items on Christmas. Three wiseguys I don't know showed up at my door, (I think they were from somewhere back east) and gave me gifts of gold, Frankenstein and myrrh.

Can't use the myrrh. If I try to light it, Frankie goes nuts.

Dec. 24th post updated

More information and photos have been added to my Boris Karloff Christmas Eve post. Take a look.

Boris Karloff reads "The Year Without A Santa Claus"

Phyllis McGinley, a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer, in 1956 published a children's story, The Year Without A Santa Claus, in Good Housekeeping magazine. It was printed in book form the following year, in the same season Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas debuted. The cadences and rhymes of both books were similar, as was the central idea of Christmas missing one of its elements -- Santa Claus in the McGinley tale and gifts in the Seuss story. In the 1960s, the late, great horror actor Boris Karloff, known for his rapport with children and fondness for kid's literature, lent his voice to adaptations of both titles.

But unlike his work in the animated Grinch, Karloff's audio recording of The Year Without A Santa Claus is little heard today. Recorded in 1968, it was one of his last performances, as he died in February 1969. The recording is all the more amazing when you consider that Karloff had terrible emphysema at that point and was using less than one lung. (By contrast, he sounds fit in the Grinch role, which he recorded only two years earlier, in 1968.)

Now, thanks to a friend, I'm sharing it with you as a Christmas present! (Mike Shanley of the great shanleyonmusic jazz blog has it on LP.) He told me about it a few days ago, and then transferred it to a disk for me. I'm grateful to him, as this is one sweet gift! The album was produced by Capitol Records as a special product for the E.F. MacDonald Incentive Company, a marketing and promotional business. On the flip side of the record are Christmas songs by such artists as Glen Campbell and Peggy Lee. Here's the front of the album:




Because of my wonky computer, it took me eight hours to upload this and post about it, but man, do I feel happy! I'm as merry as a schoolboy! I'm as giddy as a drunken man! (I'm slap-happy from sleep deprivation!) Listen to Boris returning from the shadows to share this helping of Christmas cheer, and you'll be giddy too!

Boris Karloff Christmas classic for children of all ages



Special thanks to "The King of JingaLing" and "Karloff 3" at the fine Falalalala website, where people keep Christmas in their hearts all year 'round.

Recommended ear entertainment for Christmas!

Recommended by the drunken severed head is this new radio production by Quicksilver Theater:

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

(A Ghost Story for Christmas)

by Charles Dickens

Directed by Jay Stern (THE CHANGELING), and adapted by

Producer Craig Wichman (THE DEVIL YOU KNOW)

Featuring Craig Wichman, Anthony Cinelli, John Prave, Ghislaine Nichols, Deborah Barta, Joseph Franchini, Jodi Botelho, Elizabeth Stull, and Tony Scheinman

Music by TONY AWARD winner Mark Hollmann
Sound Effects by Clyde Baldo and The Cast
Engineering by David Nolan

"...A Scrooge for all seasons..." - Paul Davis, author of

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF EBENEZER SCROOGE

(NOTE! All times given are LOCAL!)

KPR (Kansas) STREAMING
Sunday, December 23rd, 8pm CST

KMUN-KTCB (Oregon) STREAMING

Sunday, December 23, 7pm PST

KUHF (Texas) STREAMING
Christmas Eve, 3pm CST

KUOW (Washington) STREAMING
Christmas Eve, 8pm PST

KDUR (Colorado) STREAMING
Christmas Eve, 8pm MST

WVRU (Virginia) STREAMING
Christmas Eve, 8pm EST

WMNF (Florida) STREAMING
Christmas Eve, 10:30pm EST (Part 2)

KUND (North Dakota) STREAMING

Christmas Day, 3pm and 7pm CST

KZYX-KYZZ (California) STREAMING

(Time ?)

WCAI-WNAN (Massachusetts) STREAMING

(Time ?)

KWSO (Oregon)
Christmas Eve, 10pm and Christmas Day, 7pm PST

"(Quicksilver's) work is GREAT, not just good" - Bill Owen, co-author of

THE GREAT AMERICAN BROADCAST

Mars shines for Christmas

An excerpt from an Associated Press news item:

Mars glows; no need for Rudolph's nose

By SETH BORENSTEIN, AP Science Writer Thu Dec 20, 11:17 AM ET

Mars will be unusually bright this Christmas Eve and the moon will be shining full — a development that might make Santa Claus rethink his need for Rudolph's red nose.

That idea, from Miami Space Transit Planetarium director Jack Horkheimer, made us wonder if retooling a certain reindeer song is the best way to explain it to the kids:

Mars is a red-tinged planet

With a very shiny glow

And if you look to see it

You will find the moon in tow.

The red planet will shine brighter because it will be directly opposite the sun, reflecting the most light, and fairly close to Earth, only 55.5 million miles away. The full moon will appear nearby, rising about an hour later, said Horkheimer, host of the public television show "Star Gazer."

*********************************************
I love to post news items with the name "Horkheimer" in them. Because I'm a wisenheimer. Or items with "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" -- that's my name too!


News excerpt copyright 2007 Associated Press.

Ho ho oy!

A reader of TDSH sent this photo of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer's cousin on his mother's side:

Zombies for Christmas

Nothing like zombie Christmas stories to make the holiday merry! And I've found a truly heartwarming one-- a story of Santa filling his increased labor needs with zombie elves! It's a tale sure to become a tradition at this time of year-- maybe even be a future Rankin/Bass teevee classic! (Well, I can hope.) So I offer this link to make the Yuletide gay:

Zombies of the North Pole

Need to choose a last-minute gift? How about these joy-inspiring holiday apparel items? (Click on the images for links to pages you can order from. Getting something shipped overnight can be expensive, but your loved ones are worth it.)


Here's another memorable T-shirt image:


You'll need a card with those gifts (even if you hafta give them AFTER Christmas, 'cause you putzed around and put off doing your shopping until the last minute!), and here's a lovely card that goes perfectly with any late present:


Just click on the images to take you to sites where you can spread Christmas greenery around! Fed economists will thank you.

Since you're already looking at zombies, go to this TDSH post and see a new photo of me self flanked by zombified makeup students from the Tom Savini school.

A freak Father Christmas!

The 1959 record album above is not in my personal collection, but I wish it was. A Christmas album with a horrifically huge Santa in bondage on the cover? THAT's my idea of a classic holiday image!

Or did Santa land in Lilliput? Appears he was brought down swiftly (pun intended) by catapulted Christmas tree decorations!

Hmmm. Ornaments for armaments. Seems to contradict the meaning of the season, but if all weapons were changed into big blown-glass balls, we'd have at last "Peace on Earth."

You think THAT was bad?

Reader Pierre Fournier commented that the video of my head attached to a body dressed in 1920's flapper drag was enough to make him swear off drinking. Well, Pierre, glut your peepers on how I looked BEFORE the flapper outfit was put on:

That oughtta make you lay off drugs, too!

Crazy Christmas Carols: A daft dozen

Below are various mental disorders paired with the Christmas carols that best express them. (I think I've been to parties where these songs were sung by my best friends. At least, that's what the doctors said I remembered during the brain scans...)

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Amnesia --- I Don't Know If I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells . . .

9. Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

10. Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe

11. Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

12. Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

MTDSH and Boris Karloff cut a rug!

My good friend Bobby Beeman sent a secretly-shot video of me dancing the Charleston with the revived body of the late King of Horror Movies, Boris Karloff. Even though the body that the dance hall gave me to use was wearing flapper drag (it was the cat's pajama's!), I'm sharing it with you! I have no shame.

I had a grand time kickin' loose with one of my cinematic heroes. Gave me a big head!

See me and BK in action in my own version of "Dancing With The Stars":

Max and Boris

Good Christmas joke

Three men die on Christmas and are met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. He tells them, "In honor of this holy day, in order to get into heaven, you must each bring in an item associated with Christmas."

The three men look at St. Peter, stunned. The first man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out a lighter. He flicks it and the flame appears. He tells a dubious-looking St. Peter, "It represents a candle, and candles represent the light of the star of Bethlehem".

Saint Peter considers this. "You may pass through the pearly gates," he finally says.

The second man reaches into his pocket, pulls out a set of keys and jingles them, then says, "They sound like little bells, and I always think of Christmas whenever I hear bells jingle." He begins to ramble about church bells and "Jingle Bells" when Saint Peter says, "Okay, okay, you may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man, Jack, starts searching desperately through his pockets. Finally he pulls out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looks at the man with a cocked eyebrow and demands, "And just HOW are THOSE associated with Christmas?"

The man replies, "These are Carol's!"

Yule link log

Christmas is about giving. My friend Mary Garrett, the latex-loathing lady of St. Louis storytelling lore, gave me several links to stuff; check them out for a merry mirth-y time!

Firts, (FIRTS? And after only one teeny martiny!) there's a Christmas story for all ages (and I bet Morticia Addams used to tell it to Wednesday and Pugsley.) From the blog "Granny Sue's News and Reviews"): The Christmas Spider

For a white (man's) Christmas, here's an a cappella comic Twelve Days of Christmas video (by a group with a name that warms my snockered severed head: "Straight, No Chaser").

Christmas is about an unlikely birth. But your birth is unlikely, too. For proof, watch this video of Eric Idle's Galaxy Song.

Mary told me to go elf myself. But here, YOU do it: Elf Yourself

DeCarlo for December

Because my home computer is wonky and sick right now, I have to post from work. So, scanning what's in my ImageShack account, I saw that I had some lovely photos of the late belle dame Yvonne DeCarlo. She was beautiful to me even when I was sober and had a body-- and no higher compliment than that is possible! So, to tickle your visual cortex, I present these photos:

Martin Scorese's Hitchcock homage

Watch this:

http://www.scorsesefilmfreixenet.com/video_eng.htm

A Severed Head for Christmas

This song is an instant Christmas classic. Great for caroling!

Updates

The new holiday picture of me and Frankie was created by Richard Olson and Gary Tabar, Jr. and I want to thank them.

I've added several new links: Eddie's Riff, The Sneeze, California Babylon, Pappy's Golden Age Comics, and Dr. Goulfinger's Haunted Hall of Horror Hosts. The link to the Universal Monster Army has been updated to go the UMA's brand-new message board.

I've also added a link to VCI Entertainment, which recently donated a few hundred copies of their new release of A CHRISTMAS CAROL to Blue Star Mothers of America as gifts for our troops. Jane and I bought a copy of this recently; it's one of the best versions of Dickens' tale, and has been released in the original b&w and with a colorized version.

I've added pictures to this post and to this post.

Most importantly, I've added links to photos and video footage to-- and re-edited-- this post on the life of "I. Zombi" Hayden Milligan. I'm really looking forward to seeing the documentary on his life (which was far too brief), and hope the film gets a dvd release.

Tidbits, gifts, news and recommendations

"IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME" DEPT. (Info for the Dr. Frankenstein in you!):

How much time you have to get a severed body part reattached.

Amputees will get artificial limbs that can actually feel! (This link leads to a pdf format article from a scientific journal.)


PRESENTS OF ODD 'OLIDAY AUDIO:

Do You Fear What I Fear (great gift from Erick at Wonderful Wonderblog!)

Holiday Horrors (from superb blogsite Universal Horror Sounds!)

Quirky Christmas (Jeffco generosity!)


FOR YOUR INNER "CHRISTMAS CURMUDGEON":

Musical fruitcake


SEVERED HEAD'S HEADLINES:

Man turning into a "tree" (Report #1)

Man turning into a "tree" (Report #2)

Man turning into a "tree" (Report #3)

(Stories with photos of a man who has a strange, rare skin condition that has made him appear to be growing bark. The Indonesian government won't let this poor man travel out of the country to get help. A tragedy.)

A real Rhedosaurus from "Beast From 20,000 Fathoms" discovered!

Cat alive and well with two faces (the pics ain't pretty!)


SNAZZY SNOW SNAPS: (These pics ARE pretty!)

Icarus snow sculpture

The art of the U.S. Snow Sculpting Team

2006 Snow Sculpture Championship winners


TASTY BLOG ROLL:

California Babylon

Creepy Los Angeles

Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine!