What the Drunken Severed Head Drinks

I, the Drunken Severed Head, drinks whatever you're having. Friends at this past week's Horror Realm con  kept offering me vodka. Lots of vodkas. This blasted-looking zombie, raised from the dead by spfx makeup legend Tom Savini, told me to try Clique Vodka. (It's Tom's favorite.)

Other friends offered me these: Burnett's Orange Cream Vodka and Crystal Head Vodka, the spirit sold in the best-looking bottle on the market.

Vodka: Potatoes completely perfected! And a far better choice for putting in Jello than canned fruit cocktail.

And it's the main ingredient in the favorite drink of the legendary Bloody Mary! You know, the murderous spirit who can be summoned by chanting her name while looking into a mirror in a darkened room? Here's a video showing what she REALLY does when you call her:

And a funny cartoon about the fatigue of the folkloric ghost can be found here.

Bottoms up!

Improvement!

I found this cartoon by Irving Roir in the 1952 book The Complete Bartender's Joke Book:

I liked it, but a way to improve it occurred to me. Here's the cartoon as I think it ought to be:

 

The hostess of the cocktail party is no longer looking in surprise at a prone drunken guest, but at a headless murder victim pointing his left arm in accusation. Is that really a body? Or is he a ghost appearing suddenly on the floor to confront his killers? Or perhaps the shared hallucination of the hostess and the man she is serving? Their faces betray their feverish consciences; no doubt she is the dead man's wife and the guest is her lover.

Yeah, that's gotta be it.

Oh my god...

Does no one have taste anymore? Look at the banner found here, and you'll be surprised at what people want.

Don't look on a full stomach.

I got no body for "Killer Bodies"!

Like other bloggers, I get freebie offers to review things: books, comics, films, etc. But never have I gotten an offer like the one from Adam and Eve Pictures. Chris (no other name given) of their PR department wrote to say, "I'm excited to introduce you to "Killer Bodies: The Awakening", an interactive, choose-your-own-adventure thriller on DVD." Thirty-two different possible dramatic outcomes were promised.

Here's the dvd cover art:

As you can see, I've censored some of  the photo to keep on Blogger's good side, and--yep--it's a XXX movie! Chris went on to say this thriller would "revolutionize adult entertainment."

I had to laugh--imagine sending a movie designed to make one's naughty parts tingle to a severed head! I had to wonder why they'd approach me, since Lounge of the DSH isn't a porn site--so I guess they love me for my mind. But after warning them I wouldn't post any explicit photos or video, I told 'em to send it.

They did, and I watched it....very closely. It made my brain stiff.

Boy howdy, I've never seen a more fun-lovin', affectionate bunch! The cast of 14 male and female adult stars party like it's 19...no, not '99'--I guess like it's 1969. They play peek-a-boo, and poke-a-boo, and pin the tail on the--well, not a donkey, but, uh--well, I'll say a horse comes to mind. There were times when I was glad it wasn't in 3-D!

That is, the actors play around when they aren't chasing and shooting each other, (it's a thriller, remember) or subjecting the star to a brainwashing experiment not unlike the main plot device in The Manchurian Candidate. ('Cept it ain't as funny. as that classic.)

Here's star Tori Black showing off her lingual organ--I suspect she's related to Gene Simmons:

Performer Raylene evidently was in charge of party decor--here's a publicity photo where she seems to rubbing balloons on her sweater. (Static electricity will make them stick to the wall for an amusing effect.)

Well, that's the raciest photo I'll run in this post, so I might as well close, eh?

If you want to see more explicit photos or video, or if you want to read reviews (yeah, right), or if you want to actually BUY the movie, you can go to their definitely NSFW site HERE, you old sinner!