Countdown Day 23: Worst Buy!

I bought a novelty dvd for Halloween that I absolutely can't recommend. It's Drew's Famous MASSACRE MUSEUM. (Must have been old stock, since it was released last year.) The cover says it "turns your TV into a spine-chilling tour of a haunted museum"--HA! It's just a series of visual parodies of some famous (and a few obscure) works of art. Some are well done, some not, a handful are clever. There's no surprise shocks, no eerie music; in fact, I found nothing "spine-chilling" about it at all. Unless you count the horror I felt when I realized I'd wasted money on a disk that lasts four minutes, then loops the same two dozen or so images over and over.

Here's the best of this worst Halloween dvd purchase. (The top image scored some humor points when the applied organs fell off the blood-sticky canvas, evoking and mocking Jackson Pollack's splatter technique.)






I may not know art, but I know what I like.

THE LANDLORD: Nice view, low rent!

I recently got a screener of an indie horror-comedy titled The Landlord from writer/director Emil Hyde, and the Voodoo Queen and I watched it and laughed. We liked it.

But it's "low rent" alright. As described at The Landlord website, it was shot for less than what Hollywood films "spend on catering." (They seem proud of this.) The low budget shows; before I get to the good stuff, gotta say what was disappointing to me.

The film has some very rough edges. The sound quality varies a lot. (Update, March 23 2010: Much of the sound has since been relooped or otherwise tweaked, and the editing tightened.) The makeup applications look amateurish; the special makeups seem to be costume shop Woochie pre-mades, and the pancake makeup is not evenly applied. And some of the actors are adequate at best, and amateurish at worst. Specifically, the nebbishy lead character of Tyler, as played by Derek Dziak, has no charm or charisma, IMHO. Under-played by Dziak, he's not interesting, pitiful, or even annoying enough to get you rooting for his destruction. You don't care at all what happens to him. Dziak is a talented musician and vocalist for the band Mystechs, but not yet a skilled actor. (He probably didn't have to audition. His bandmate Emil Hyde is The Landlord's writer and director.)

Okay, before I say what I valued in the movie, a time-out for a synopsis. Here's a spoiler-free one from the website:

"The Landlord is the story of Tyler, the unfortunate young owner of a demon-haunted apartment building. Finding tenants has never been a problem for Tyler, though he does have trouble keeping them alive to pay rent. No matter how nicely Tyler asks the demons not to eat the renters (or to at least wait a month or two), they never listen. And why should they? As far as the demons are concerned, humans are merely dumb, tasty animals - kinda like chickens - and Tyler is their pet monkey.

"But all that might change when Tyler takes a liking to the newest tenant, a desperate young woman running from demons of her own…"

I did like the film, though, and I do recommend it. You'll laugh! It has two really fine comedic performances-- one by Rom Barkhordar, as the flesh-eating demon Rabisu, and the other by Michelle Courvais, as Tyler's sister Amy, a corrupt cop with anger issues. These two are the heart of the film's charm. Barkhordar is an actor and voice artist with professional TV and videogame credits; Courvais is an actress in Chicago. Both belong in Hollywood. (Courvais is also a very sexy and attractive woman; she has one heavy make-out scene in a cop car that made me wish the movie was an interactive video game! GrrrOOwwrr!!)

The script is funny and inventive. The laughs, such as in a scene set in a pro-life counseling clinic, are even daring and edgy. Emil Hyde creates some memorable characters with Rabisu, Amy, and Donna, a woman running from an abusive relationship, who becomes Tyler's love interest. (The demons take an interest in her as a food source.) And not only are their demons in the film, but a new kind of monster that seems to be a cross between flesh-eating zombies and fanged, daylight-shunning vampires.*

The special visual effects are fine, and there's gore for the gorehounds.

Trailers for the film can be seen here.

* Update: Emil Hyde writes to say about the monsters, "They're actually vampires as they were originally portrayed in Romanian folk tales, before Bram Stoker reinvented them as a dapper, upper-class gigolos. In the old stories, they weren't afraid of sunlight (though they were nocturnal and would be all sleepy and sluggish during the day), had a mouth full of rotten teeth (not just two little fangs), and would get all red and bloated when they were full of blood, like a tick. Basically, they were more symbolic of gluttony, while modern vampires are symbolic of lust."

Zoc and Me Look at "Experiments in Terror 3"

So I was sent a screener of a new dvd release titled Experiments in Terror 3. As it's a group of bizarre indie shorts, I was intrigued, of course, and wanted to see it. As Tenebrous Kate described it at her blog Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire, it is "a diverse grouping of weird little films...lovingly assembled by curator Noel Lawrence." It's part of Lawrence's continuing Experiments in Terror series, which has screened (as TK notes), "in a variety of venues from indie cinemas to art galleries."

I proposed to Iloz Zoc of Zombos' Closet of Horror that he, Tenebrous Kate, and I review it together in chat, and cross post our thoughts. Sadly, the alluring and smart TK (who is more than a "technical knockout"!) had to drop out the day we set up this experiment of our own. So Zoc and I reviewed it in chat and just kept referring back (or ripping off, if you prefer) to Kate's review.

The films in EIT3 are:

• The Psychotic Odyssey of Richard Chase (dolls are used to tell the true story of a serial murderer)
• Satan Claus (clips from a horror film mashed up with footage of the Mexi-movie Santa Claus)
• Loma Lynda: The Red Door (a condensed demo reel of a "blood-drenched psychological mystery")
• Terror! (a clip reel of similar slasher-film scenes from the 80's, mostly)
• Born of the Wind (an 8mm teenage horror-film short, both an homage and a spoof of '60s horror films)
  
• Manuelle Labor (a surreal short by Guy Maddin and a partner, Marie Losier)
• It Gets Worse (a parody of both silent film expressionism and silent comedy)
  

Below, edited for typos, is our "Siskel and Ebert" imitation. ("Roeper and Ebert"--feh.) If EIT3 intrigues you, you can buy it at the Microcinema site. (You'll support the indie film preservation efforts of Noel Lawrence, who works hard to find and offer unusual film shorts.)
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Zoc: I looked for EIT3 on IMDB, but didn't see it.

Me: To hell with the corporate fellatio that is IMDB! (Raising clenched fist in the air) ;)

Zoc: Swish! and another proletarian head hits the basket.

Zoc: Hey, no fair, you're using emoticons! I can barely type.

Me: YOU can barely type? I don't even exist! I'm a roomful of monkeys--one of us at a time accidentally producing coherent sentences!

Zoc: Well, then send a few of them over to help me out. While I'm waiting let's discuss the first film on Richard Chase.

Me: You know, when I was told that the first film on the review screener I was going to get was a Dick Chase film, I thought it was going to be a different sort of film!

Zoc: Long pause as I look up Dick Chase...

Me: Aw, Zombos, you don't look up subtext!

Zoc: Ohhhhhh. I did find Deck Chairs, though.

Me: Well, moving on from a latently homoerotic bit of wordplay (Are you as turned on as I am?), I liked the film.

Zoc: Very jarring given the use of action figures, wasn't it? (Choosing to ignore your subtext...)

Me: Very much so. Tenebrous Kate of Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire (who was supposed to join us here in chat) wrote "Psychotic Odyssey prefers hand-painted cardboard sets populated by fashion dolls, children's drawings and non-documentary found footage to tell its story of gruesome mayhem, somehow making the already-creepy into something creepier-still while eliciting a nervous laugh or two."

I very much agree! Made me remember some of the pretty outrageous stories I acted out as a kid with G.I. Joes and monster figures!

Zoc: TK obviously came to her senses. But getting back to the film, at first, I didn't know what to make of it; was it supposed to be funny or serious. Then I realized it was supposed to be both and neither.

Me: Needless to say, it worked.

Zoc: Funny, but I also played with GI Joe, Barbie, and monsters. Hmmmm...
I liked dressing up Barbie more than GI Joe. But he had the cool stuff.

Me: The use of dolls and paper figures, etc., distanced us enough to allow us to be absorbed into the story, which was tragic and repellent.

Me: BTW, I laughed when dressing up GI (gastro-intestinal?) Joe AS Barbie!

Zoc: The use of the slowed-down, muffled narration was odd, though.

Me: Meant to suggest the inner distorted "voice' of Chase himself, mebbe?

Zoc: Not bad; I hadn't thought of that. I'll have to steal it for my review.
So I think we both agree this first movie is a keeper.

Me: Hey, I'm running this chat in toto, pal. Thievery will be obvious. ;) Yes, it's a keeper!

Zoc: Satan Clause didn't quite make sense, either esthetically or storywise. Too choppy for me.

Me: Not for me, but the extreme soft grain was very distracting for me. How was this preserved? Did he shoot an 8mm copy while it ran, then later transfer it to tape, and then dvd? Looked like it. It was just amusing enough to be a keeper. (Liked it better a second time, watching it on my small computer monitor.) Works best knowing the back story behind it. TK ran an expanded version of the back story for SC, and reading it first helps.

Zoc: Must have scared those poor kids like crazy.

Me: Yeah! I like to think I'd have dug it!

Zoc: Knowing you, I don't doubt it. Just felt the editing could have been better. What's with the corpse and the cops? It doesn't quite make sense when strung together with the big bad red Satan.

Me: Okay, the liner notes say SC was 16mm. Sure didn't look like it!

Zoc: So with this one I'm more nay, and you are yay...

Me: Well, the whole thing was cobbled together from what J.X. Williams had on hand as a projectionist. It was bound to be somewhat disjointed. Worked for me, but your mileage apparently varied.

Zoc: It does make you uneasy watching it, which was its intent. So points for that. Moving to Loma Lynda: The Red Door, I'm not sure I can say much about this one because we only see a snippet of it here. I'd rather see the whole film before critiquing it. TK wrote: "Bognacki's visuals are striking and I'm curious to see how he works what look like trademark effects work into feature-length piece. I particularly dug the scratchy block-out that's superimposed over the actress' eyes. As an appetite-whetter, this piece certainly succeeds..."

Me: It's described as a "demo reel" for a feature-length film, and I thought it succeeded as that--it made me want to see the whole she-bang. (Pun intended, given the story seen in the clip.) I thought it succeeded in being a surreal and nightmarish representation of a violent experience, as seen through the eyes of someone with a fragmented personality. And it was blessedly crisp and professional and WELL-DESIGNED looking!

Zoc: That's what makes it visually interesting at first. The slow-motion walk, in closeup, through the city streets. Then all of a sudden, the tirade begins, and it is so vitriolic and insane, it goes on and on. I found it hard to watch as he unravels.

Me: It was hard to take in a GOOD way, unlike, say, It Gets Worse. But I'm getting a HEAD of myself.

Zoc: Very bizarre. One psychotic man with insane hatred, and one girl split into two personalities. Quite a pair. I found it too outre, though. Which may make it more appealing to a smaller fringe audience (he says, ignoring the big HEAD.)

Me: You ignore my big head at your peril! (Mwah ha ha ha ha!) A keeper for me, a maybe for you?

Zoc: I think we both found it fascinating and well-done (the movie, that is); although I'm just not sure how sustainable it can be at feature-length.

Me: I'm also a bit doubtful, which is why I'll happily recommend this Reader's Digest version.

Zoc: Now, both of us agreed that Ben River's Terror! didn't quite pass the mustard.

Me: Were you terrified by Terror!?

Zoc: No, just disgusted at the end with the explicit gore scenes.

And if you work another Big Head joke into this I'll come over and gore you myself.

Me: Don't worry, you can look for head elsewhere. I expected the gore, if not exactly "my cuppa." What I didn't expect--and was let down by--was the lack of anything new made by editing together the like scenes from all those slasher films.

Zoc: (groan) It's an overlong 24 minute or so bunch of clips with a punch line. And the punch line isn't worth it the wait.

Me: It struck me as a not-very-interesting academic film history exercise.

Zoc: TK found it fun to guess that film, but I wanted more. His editing of the scenes didn't quite gel, either.

Me: Assignment: Find similar scenes in American slasher films, and leisurely string them together, grouped by type...Well, outside of a film class appreciation, not much to recommend. No creative editing, no fun or implied commentary (except maybe "See how alike these films are?")!

Zoc: Agreed. Even devout horror fans may find it more tedious than enlightening. Not so with Kuchar's Born of the Wind; this mummy brought to life story, at first, made me wonder why they bothered to preserve this one. But as a critic, I realize I really can't feel that way. On further examination, there are a few interesting setpieces here that may make for a really good film.

Me: Born of the Wind sure has a misleading title, but it was fun.

Zoc: The acting was stiff, of course, and the silent treatment, with acting suited toward it, doesn't really help the storyline. Some scenes are oddly framed, too. In one instance, the mad scientist is mixing his potion by a flowering plant. The camera angle frames the plant better than him. Go figure.

Me: It plays exactly like what it is: a no-budget, 8mm, horror-film-trope mashup with a goofball ending, made by horror and sci-fi-loving teenagers.

Zoc: Yes, that ending reminded me of Plan 9 From Outer Space and Ed Wood zaniness.

Me: It was included largely because it's an early film project by noted underground filmmakers the Kuchar Bros.. It reminded me of the stuff found on the Monster Kid Home Movies dvd* of a few years ago. Thumbs up from me, even if not as original and interesting as the also no-budget Psychotic Odyssey of Richard Chase.

Zoc: Kuchar did not create any emotional depth here, which keeps the film more curiosity than drama, but I agree it's interesting enough.

Now why didn't we ever do home movies?

Me: What you mean "we" white man? (He said, quoting an old joke involving the Lone Ranger and Tonto.)

Zoc: I did horror radio dramas, but no movies. Oh, did you do them?

Me: Well, to be honest, I wrote home movie scripts, but shot only one reel.

Zoc: Oh, my God, you actually used film?

Me: You were expecting chopped liver, maybe? But I bet my scripts had as much story and characterization as Emmanuelle in Labor, the next film on EIT3.

Zoc: That's Manuelle Labor. Sometimes I wonder where your head is at.

Me: I thought we were leaving out head jokes, but you sure have set me up for one! I was a breech baby, by the way. No, I think I was created in a lab--it was so long ago, it's hard to remember.

Zoc: Moving right along...TK notes it plays like a Dame Darcy comic strip without the lovely illustrations or high level of wackiness. I don't think I've ever read Dame Darcy.

Me: Me neither!

Zoc: What's the deal with use of the silent motif? Dialog is important to the story, yet once again, we get visual interpretations poorly formed and conveyed.

Me: It sure was pretty looking with the gauzy focus and bright lights and all, but the central image of a woman giving birth to a pair of arms with a roomful of approving people on hand is all there is! Where's Guy Maddin's eccentric story-telling? It was like a segment out of a longer film by Dali.

Zoc: Right, and end the story there. Instead it continues, like one hand clapping.

Dali Lama? Hello Dali? Corner Dali?

Me: No, a camera Dolly! So, no passing grade for ML from you and me, eh?

Zoc: Not much here to critique. We agree it's pretty much the weakest link. Great opening idea, no story to follow it up. And minimal cinematic grace to cover the deficit. Which brings us to Clifton Childree's It Gets Worse. And all I can really say about this one is, No It Doesn't.

Me: A giant turd flies out of a fat, middle-aged guy's ass and lands across a room atop an open hot dog bun. Then he shoots a giant load of jizz across the room on top of it, and another guy, who didn't see any of this, eats it. That's all you need to know about the sensibility of the film.

Zoc: TK found this to be a guilty pleasure. I find it a guilty shame. And "visionary" is not a term I'd use here for Childree. He aims to insult, disgust, and mortify, and by God he does it quite well and then some. But in place of visionary I'd use incendiary. He incites either awes or godawfuls, and nothing in between.

Me: It took me back to when I was twelve and laughed at anything "taboo." I admit I nervously giggled a few times, and rolled my eyes. I watched it with someone else, who said, "This is the most retarded thing I've ever seen."

Zoc: Precisely. The movie has hit its mark. But what's so annoying is the man has incredible talent. Misguided, yes, but quite a boatload of it. After watching this film I can't watch a Max Fleischer Popeye cartoon without thinking about Master Bates and the Dong Clock.

Me: John Waters and the Farrelly Bros already blazed that trail; I'm too grown up to care about that kind of "daring" film anymore.

Zoc: Damn you Childree! Maybe then we are too old for this type of film fare. Then again, maybe we are too sensible.

Me: Damn him all to Hell!

Zoc: I still don't know what his story was all about, when you take away the visual scatology.

Me: No. No one who knows me ever says I'm sensible. But there was an attempt to do a sort of homage to silent expressionism, I think, but it was so weak that nothing much was on offer.

That about wraps up our review of EIT3. Until next time, shall we close the balcony?

Zoc: Sure. On the whole, was Experiments in Terror 3 worthwhile?

Me: Yes, but just barely. 2 films were strong offerings in my view, 2 were less so but fun, 2 were just okay at best, and one made me wish I could get my 32 minutes back.

Zoc: I agree. Perhaps a longer collection would be better overall, esthetically. That would give more opportunity for anyone to find gems among the baubles.

Me: I'd have settled for more sparkly baubles, even, but you're right. The annual Spike and Mike collections of short films offer so many at one time that there's enough to please anyone's taste. Wish that was true here.

Goodbye Zombos' Closet of Horror, and may you find loose change under your theater seat!

Zoc: Hell with the change, I want bills, baby. Until next time...
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*Recommended!

The first fly to come to the spider web

Jane and I had our first guest in today, a young co-worker named Meg who knew of my reputation for a love of all things horror. She asked for film recommendations. Instead I invited her over to watch movies with us, and she picked Bava's KILL, BABY, KILL , and the Japanese film JUON 2. (Both are about ghost children that bring horrible death.)

We also watched an episode of ONE STEP BEYOND called "The Clown"--because she has a clown phobia! She went home with more horror films on loan.

Meg enjoyed looking at some of my monster toys and collectables that are unpacked, too, which delighted me.

I really wanted to end the get-together with a screening of one of my comedy favorites, the Rondo-nominated movie THE NAKED MONSTER. (Click on the title to order the film from Netflix.) But I didn't dare. A cheapie among cheapies, star Kenneth Tobey hated it--but it gives him his last good role, as it does many other old stars of classic monster movies. Plus it has the luscious, glorious form of co-star Brinke Stevens!

It's been described as "AIRPLANE meets GODZILLA," but it didn't have half the budget either of those films did. Shot on Super 8 sound film and video (because various plans to produce it at major studios kept falling through for a variety of reasons), it's an amazing testament to the determination of director/screenwriter Ted Newsom. Created practically on sheer will and talent alone (did I mention how cheaply it was made?), it has some of the funniest (and most affectionate) gags in monster film history! As well as Forry Ackerman's best cameo!

If you know someone who enjoys j-horror, Bava and giallo films, AND the low humor of the hilarious NAKED MONSTER, give 'em my address!

A message from Don Glut

Writer, filmmaker, Frankenstein authority and dinosaur expert Don Glut sent me a message (posted below) about how one can break into showbiz: become an associate movie producer! That's what you'll be, in essence, if you invest in Don Glut's latest feature film, Blood Scarab.

Here's Don:

"Frontline Entertainment needs a few more investors to pay off post-production (CGI effects, music score composition, sound design & color corrections) on our new horror movie BLOOD SCARAB. This low-budget, independent film - Frontline's best yet - is completed, has already had its gala theatrical premiere at Chicago's prestigious Music Box. In November it will play at both Hollywood's New Beverly Cinema and Chicago's Portage Theatre (both times double-billed with Frontline's DINOSAUR VALLEY GIRLS).

"It is already out on DVD (see Amazon) and there are possible TV deals pending.

"BLOOD SCARAB is a sequel to four previous movies in Frontline's popular COUNTESS DRACULA and MUMMY'S KISS cult-movie series.



"If you've ever dreamed about being involved in a Hollywood movie, here's an opportunity to make that dream come true. For more info, contact director/writer Donald F. Glut (www.donaldfglut.com) at (818) 848-2646 or Invest@frontlinefilms.com. For photos, cast list, plot synopsis, etc. (also on our previous movies), visit /www.frontlinefilms.com and click on `Now Showing.'

"Donald F. Glut, President, Frontline Entertainment, Inc."

Brian Horrorwitz' ANTENA CRIMINAL

Note to readers: Below is a post that I will be expanding next week, but I wanted to post now and will edit later. I interviewed the creator of the documentary ANTENA CRIMINAL, Brian Horrorwitz, Brian's the front man of the band The Ubangis, and he had previously provided music for other Franco films. His passion for the director's films led him to become a filmmaker, documenting the making of the 2000 Franco flick BLIND TARGET.

So I will be posting an update notice next week, but you can see the most important part, the interview that forms most of the post below, NOW.
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Brian Horrorwitz' Antena Criminal is an independent documentary film released at the end of 2007 that examines and documents the making of Blind Target (2000), one of Jess Franco's more recent films. Antena Criminal is a promising first documentary from Horrorwitz, and makes the watching of Blind Target a better experience. (But it would just about have to-- BT is not exactly classic cinema!)

Horrorwitz is the proprietor of Trash Palace, a cool site for buying odd novelty and exploitation films on DVD and for buying high-octane lowbrow music on CDs. Just as Trash Palace has introduced me to some interesting, unusual stuff, Antena Criminal and Blind Target introduced me to the weird, sometimes trashy world of longtime genre filmmaker Jess Franco. Whether this is a favor or not remains to be seen, but I enjoyed Antena Criminal as an unblinking look at filmmaking on a shoestring, and I recommend YOU buy it! You get the two disk Antena Criminal set and a separate dvd of Blind Target, all for $11.98!

I wasn't unfamiliar with Franco --you can't learn anything about the history of foreign horror films without learning about Franco-- but my first introduction to his work came as a surprise! When I was about 12, one of my grannies sent me for Christmas a book on the history of vampire films, since I've always been a fan of monster movies. What she didn't know (and I didn't either) was that a couple of nude photos from Franco's Vampyros Lesbos were in the book! (I managed to keep my happy surprise under the radar, and my parents never knew about the illicit images I'd been given.) So, from then on, I was curious about the Spanish director's movies, and sometimes even for reasons of intellectual curiosity!



What I gathered, from everything that I read as I grew older, was that Franco was a schlock artist who turned out far more dreck than diamonds. Still, he was said to have done some outstanding stuff, so I had high hopes for the first Franco flicker I saw.

Well, my hopes were dashed by Blind Target. The anonymous writer who wrote the IMDB plot summary for Blind Target describes the story this way: "Blind Target is about an expatriate author is the story of a young woman who emigrated from the poor tiny Latin American country of San Hermoso only to strike it rich and famous as an author in the United States. When she returns to her homeland to promote her novel "Desperate Letters" - a thinly veiled expose of her native land's political corruption - she is in for a welcome that she could not have imagined in her worst nightmares." Her worst nightmare would have to be that she is in a film that features poor performances (except for those by Linnea Quigley and Lina Romay), has poor sound and dubbing, is marred by rough camera work done by Franco himself, looks cheap, and has unintentional laughs. (The biggest has to be a lesbian love scene where one character is pressed up against a glass window; the movements of her partner behind her mash the actress' face into odd contortions, like the kind kids make when they use their fingers to make funny faces.)

Thankfully I had Antena Criminal to help me appreciate Franco a little better. He's a man who lives to make films, as he has for over fifty years, no matter what size budget or lack of talented help he may be saddled with. And he has made some good films, if his Jack the Ripper is any indication. (My wife suggested I watch that one after the boredom of Blind Target; I did and enjoyed it.)

And now the interview with Brian Horrorwitz:
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Max the drunken severed head: What is the meaning of the title? I saw the words spelled out in the building windows early in the documentary, but had no idea what they referenced. (I do know that "antena" is the Spanish spelling for "antenna" in English.)

Brian Horrorwitz: Well, it's a few things. First, I got the name from this huge sign that was posted in some guy's window. If you see the documentary, there are shots looking up at it. That was the same building Jess and Lina [Romay] were living in at the time. I stayed there for a month as well at the corner of the building just above them. And right at the very top above me was the Antena Criminal guy. If you look closely you might notice a whole ton of antennas up on the rooftop. I think maybe they were relay antennas put there by some company for who knows. And apparently they were really screwing with the guys electricity in his apartment. So that was his way of protesting. That building was way up high on the hill above the beach. And if you were driving anywhere near there or walking down the boardwalk or whatever you just couldn't miss it. At night he'd leave his lights on so the sign was illuminated. Really a brilliant way of protesting. Also for me it kind of represented a vibe I saw in the minds of some of the Spanish people there. Very creative, very laid back but still willing to come up with an idea to make their statement should a protest arise. There are other meanings to the name too but that's for you to decide.

You told me in a prior phone conversation that Blind Target, the film whose production is the focus of your documentary,is far from being Franco's best work. Prior to shooting the documentary, did you have different expectations?

Well, I didn't really know what to expect. I can tell you that they ran into a lot of problems before the shooting ever started, like the original lead actress dropping out a couple of days before the shoot, things like that. And don't get me wrong, there are things about "Blind Target" that I really like. But it seems to me, although some might disagree, that maybe there were too many fingers in the creative pot. The basic storyline wasn't necesarily the type of thing Franco would normally do although he has made several other movies dealing with espionage. But the Franconian elements are all there because, no matter what's in the script, when Jess is at the helm it's always gonna come out being a Jess Franco movie one way or another.

What held up the release of the documentary?

Just a combination of technical things, money... the usual b.s. Also I wanted to screen it a few times and get people's feedback because I was concerned that maybe it was a bit too eclectic, had maybe too limited of an appeal. I mean to me it means something but I wanted to try and see if it connected with anyone else and fortunately it has with a few people. I kind of shopped it around a bit but it really does have a limited audience to be honest. I was hoping before I went over there I could create something that non-Franco fans might appreciate but I don't know if that would've been possible in this case without it coming across as another typical "DVD extra" type of documentary. I wanted it to have it's own mood and style, which it does. Whether it is works or not I can't say.

What do you love about Franco's films? What do think Franco fans "get" about his films that his critics don't?

A lot of things really. I love the fact that each movie is like a piece of a puzzle, the puzzle being the mind of Jess Franco. And the more you watch the more connections you see. I like the fact that he comes up with these creative little background stories for his characters to set all the debauchery in motion. I think it makes the sex scenes more interesting if there's a reason behind it. Also the fact that, like some of my favorite directors, his films work on a more cerebral level rather then technical. They don't look slick, he shoots on location, the settings aren't lit fancy, the camera wanders through a lot of the times in the same way that the eye sees things, like a voyeur peering into someone's demented dream. And I think a lot of people appreciate that kind of approach because it's so different then what we see today in movies. Some people can't get past the cheapness of his films but to me most of them make up for it and then some by exploring things on a whole different level. Fellini wasn't that different, he just had much more money and made much fewer films.

What emotions did you feel seeing Franco work on Blind Target?

Well, there were many and they were all good! First, being a long time fan, it was all kind of surreal seeing him in action. It was impressive seeing this man work, too. He obviously knows his shit! The way he could be shooting one scene while the next one was being setup by the crew. He was really fast and held it together all the time. I am convinced that if he ever had more money to work with he easily could direct another "Eugenie" or "Faceless". His mind was 100% sharp and he was very focused on what he was doing, knowing at every moment exactly what he wanted in all aspects; what lights to use, where to set them, the choreography of the actors, the cinematography (he still does all of his own shooting), etc. I did feel a bit odd at times because I knew ahead of time that he wasn't really keen on having a camera in his face the whole time. He and Lina and everyone there in fact were as nice as could be, there was no hostility whatsoever. But when things started hitting the proverbial fan, and, as you saw, it did, I could tell he felt a bit uneasy about having me there shooting all of that. But not as uneasy as I felt, believe me!

Franco never seems to crack a smile or laugh in your film. Did you find him to be a very serious person, or was he struggling with frustration or sadness? Certainly Blind Target seemed to have some production troubles.

No, actually he smiles and laughs all the time. But when he is working he is very focused. And actually despite a few brief blow-ups I think he handles the frustrations amazingly well. You've seen Antena and you know what frustrations I am talking about, well, if it had been me I probably would've lost it much sooner then he did. So actually he held it together quite well considering what he had to deal with sometimes.

What amused him? How does his sense humor express itself in his films?

It's hard to say; I think Jess can appreciate a sort of nutty theatrical type of humor, laughing at someone acting like a goofball. He also will sometimes make you do things for a laugh, like when I had to run down a mountain road 5 times in "Blind Target". I think about half-a-second of that 20 minutes of running ended up in the actual film. And I'm still not sure if he was having a laugh at my expense or not but it was pretty funny. Just before that we had been served our breakfast which was called "Megas" or something, this kind of greasy mush made out of bread stuffing, fried sausage and a fried egg...I forget what all else was in there... all squished togther in a bowl. And after I are it I had to do all that running and I almost hurled. Well, if you look at the outtakes on the Antena DVD, there is a scene were they're discussing that the running shot didn't come out and we might have to do it over again. And Lina pipes up and says "I'll go get another bowl of Megas ready for you."! She is really funny, she cracked me up quite a bit. In his movies she always plays these demented nympho characters in this sort of spaced out sex-freak mode. But if you've ever seen her doing a comedy role she is quite good at them, she can really pull it off, and that is much more like her real personality. You can tell in Antena, she is always kidding around but when it's time to shoot, she jumps in there and nails it like a pro. She also loves to film and ended up shooting several parts of Antena.

I assume you met Franco for the first time while making Antena Criminal. As you got to know him a bit, did he surprise you in any way? If so, how?

Actually I got to meet him once at a horror convention a few years before that. He was quite personable and very interesting to hang around with and talk to. He could go on and on about music and film. I've never met anyone that knew so much about old Hollywood movies! Also the fact that he could handle joking around even about his own movies. We were at some restaurant and he recommended I try the blood sausage and I asked him, "Wasn't that the name of one of your films? The Bloody Sausage?". He thought that was funny.

The torture of women is a major and recurring element in his films. Why do think that is?

Well in his case, as I said before, it's never just obligatory, there's always some narrative motivation behind it. I think there are quite a few men being tortured as well. And more often then not there is a woman who is controlling the torture. Even in his women-in-prison movies, it's always Ajita Wilson or someone pulling the strings. Outside of the sexual elements and the fact that Jess loves the idea of the dominating woman, the femme fatale, the succubus, etc., he likes to spin a story in a very old fashioned style, much in the way of old Hollywood films. And I think that sex and torture for him are story telling devices believe it or not. He'd never have someone getting tortured for no reason, he uses the exploitative elements to tell the story.

How are the erotic elements of Blind Target different from his other films?

Well, I think more then ever they are used to move the plot along. I don't want to give anything away but the sex is used as a manipulative device in the movie, and then later as an act of violence, both times altering the storyline.

He claims to be a feminist. Do you believe him? I get the feeling that he merely romanticizes-- and idolizes-- women as superior to men in all ways.

Well, I suppose that depends on what one's definition of feminism is! I mean there is no question that he idolizes women. But if you listen to what he has to say in one of the interview segments of Antena he most certainly has definite ideas about the importance of women in the world and they are VERY feminist. He may express those ideas in an overtly sexual or "pulp" manner in his movies, but it seemed to me that he was quite sincere.

What was his relationship with Ms. Romay like, as you observed it?

Pretty much the way it comes across in Antena: 2 people who have a deep love and caring for each other. I can't imagine 2 people who understand each other so well too.

What do you imagine Franco would be doing if were not a filmmaker?

My answer to that is I cannot imagine him doing ANYTHING else! It is impossible. If he were not a film maker then he probably wouldn't exist.

What is the one Jess Franco film you wish everyone would see?

Hmmm... Well, I don't know if there is just one, but I think there might be one for everybody; People with a taste for arthouse cinema might appreciate "Succubus" which is my personal favorite; gorehounds would probably dig "Faceless" quite a bit; and a lot of people like "Venus in Furs".

Please tell me about your music tracks for Blind Target and for Antena Criminal.

Uuuummm... Well,... after Jess had used a few songs from my band The Ubangis' first CD in "Lust for Frankenstein" and then we collaborated with him to compose music for "Vampire Blues", his producer contacted us about writing the score for "Blind Target". But this time we were given lyrics to use that were written by somebody else and told to write music that sounded like this or that. And that was all well and good but then, they way I remember it, they kept changing what they wanted. And we wrote and recorded these tracks very quickly and by the time it was all done I wouldn't say it was among our better material but not bad. And when I finally got to Spain and played it for Jess I could tell that he wasn't thinking it fit, which it didn't because at that point they decided they wanted something with a more Latin flavor to represent the mood of the fictional country in the film. Which we most defnitely could've done if we were told that up-front and just left to do our thing. And I don't think it was Jess' fault, he trusted us with his ideas for "Vampire Blues" and we were right in synch with him. But this time really there were, like I said before, just too many fingers in the pot. So they ended up using one track, a vocal track, and I cringe every time I hear it. But the instrumental stuff we recorded came out pretty good and it was in my head the entire time I was there shooting there so I decided to make it the Antena score and for that it works quite well I think.

Does Franco like rock music himself? Do you know what he listens to?

Yes he does! I think Jazz is his main thing but he is actually very progressive when it comes to using music in his films and if he didn't like it he probably wouldn't use it with a few exceptions ("Faceless" theme anyone?). I mean, at his age the guy made "Killer Barbies" and used bands like Sexy Sadie and The Ubangis in his movies fer chrissakes! And if you listen to some of the scores from the '70s, there is some very modern jazzy stuff in a period piece film like "The Demons" for instance. And Manfred Mann in "Venus In Furs". I know Jess considers himself a musician and to me he definitely has good taste. I found a small record shop in Malaga when I was over there and picked up a couple of LPs I had never heard before. I told him "Jess, I got a Count Basie album today!". "Which one?" he said. "Count Basie Plays The Beatles!". He makes a sour face. He was right!

I'll close with a stupid, Barbara Walters-style question. If Jess Franco's films were a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would it be?

Uuummm... Ham with extra cheese? No, no... I am kidding of course! Geeze... I DUNNO!!

And I don't know why I asked such a silly thing. But thank you for this interview!

Above: Max the drunken severed head and Brian Horrorwitz!

New Jess Franco documentary

Jess Franco (Jesus Franco), who has been described as the European Roger Corman, is the subject of a new documentary by friend of TDSH Brian Horowitz (owner of the TRASH PALACE web site and lead for the band The Ubangis).

Here's Brian's announcement:

Hello and Happy New Year from your pal Brian Horrorwitz at Trash Palace! 2008 will bring us more rare, hard-to-find and uber-obscure exploitation movies. But now: It brings me great relief to announce to you all that my docu-thingy "Antena Criminal - Making a Jess Franco Movie" is here at last!

"Filmed between late January and early February, 2000, during the beginning days of primary shooting for Spanish director Jess Franco’s 176th movie, “Blind Target”, by Brian Horrorwitz, this is only the second time in a career that spans over fifty years that Franco has allowed an outside individual to document his film making process. This behind-the-scenes documentary offers up a rare glimpse into the inspiration, techniques, pitfalls, and occasional flaring tempers behind low budget film making and shouldn’t be missed by any European movie buffs or Franco fans in attendance."
~Ken Kisch, Video Wasteland

"Antena Criminal" is a 2 disc DVD-R set with all the trimmings including...

FEATURE MOVIE (84 minutes)
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JESS FRANCO (25 minutes)
OUTTAKES AND DELETED FOOTAGE (50 minutes)
PHOTO GALLERY WITH COMPLETE SCORE (21 minutes)
"ANTENA CRIMINAL" WORLD PREMIERE (8 minutes)
TRAILER (3 minutes)
LINER NOTES BY MONDO MACABRO'S PETE TOMBS

Also, each copy of "Antena Criminal" comes with a free DVD of Jess Franco's "Blind Target" (on the Sub Rosa label)!
The price for everything is only $11.98 plus shipping. Yes, this one's for the fans!

For more information on "Antena Criminal" (come check out the trailer!) please visit this page:

http://www.trashpalace.com/Antena.htm

Sale at VCI

VCI Entertainment (vcient.com) recently had a 40% off DVD sale that did not work as planned due to technical glitches. To make it up to people, now they are having a 50% off sale on everything!

With Christmas coming, I recommend their release of the 1951 SCROOGE, and any of their horror releases, such as CITY OF THE DEAD ( a complete version of the film known in the U.S. as HORROR HOTEL.) The DSH is also getting SHOWTIME USA, a collection of forgotten color musicals, some of which feature odd variety acts, and MAN IN THE ATTIC, with Jack Palance. The Voodoo Queen is ordering YOUNG HANNAH, QUEEN OF THE VAMPIRES. (All these queens of the night tend to support each other's work.)

I received an e-mail from Christopher Rowe of VCI, (and spoke with him on the phone.) He wants customers to know that coupon code XDNIVM will give you 50% off your order. From the e-mail: "Just copy and paste this into your shopping cart at the end on your purchase where it asks for you to apply a coupon code. I have set the coupon up to expire on Sunday December 2nd at 11:59 pm (central time). You can use it right now or till the end of that day. This is coupon is good for anything on our website (clearance, sale, etc.)"

Thanks, VCI!

Zombie Fest 2007

Because our camera was stolen at the event, the planned post on the Zombie Fest weekend Jane and I attended was postponed. But a few pics were taken on a cheaper camera, and some people since then have been kind enough to forward some photos to me, so...

Here's the cover of the program for the event:

Many vendors were at the event, including the folks behind Monster Mini-Golf, (which I reported on on August 1), people selling comics, CDs, DVDs, games, art, and clothing, and more. Authors on zombie films, actors from the Living Dead movies and others, and other odd folk (I mean that in a nice way) were on hand to be seen and to talk to fans, and a makeup demo was held as well.

The weekend included a Saturday night ball where four bands played. Opening the sets were one of my favorite groups, The Ubangis, fronted by Brian Horrorwitz, owner of Trash Palace. (See TP in my links.) They were followed by Forbidden 5, the (nearly) all grrl band, Motorpsychos, and the headliners, Deathmobile. All put on a good show.

Here's Jane and I as we appeared at the Ball (I was wearing my life-like prosthetic robot body for the occasion):

Here are pics of The Ubangis performing at the Ball (shared with me by Brian H., but taken from a Flickr set by Ubangi's fan "j.buck".) They were introduced by Bill Hinsman, the cemetery ghoul from the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.


More pics from the weekend, including the Zombie Walk, a shuffling trek across the Monroeville Mall, where George Romero filmed the first "Dawn of the Dead" in 1977. The walk (which raised canned good donations for the local food bank) had a record-setting 1124 zombies!

(Looking around on the Net I find on the home page for the Zombie Walk I now find out that the organizers didn't want pictures taken. They didn't mention or post that rule at the event! Oh well... my bad. Lots of folks took pics, and am I glad!)

At the Zombie Ball, one zombie man got onstage and proposed to his zombie gal. We chatted with them-- Glenn and Michele-- and they sent this picture:

[Photo removed Sept. 2008 on request.]

Here was one of the witnesses (he traveled the furthest to be there, I think.)

The event had a setup at the Ball where you get your photo taken in a coffin. The Voodoo Queen and I couldn't pass up the opportunity! Sadly, the guy working with the digital image before printing it decided to crop it very closely, so you can't see the whole casket. Still, what a marvelous souvenir:

I covered up my exposed brain for the official photo, of course. I do have some propriety.

Some folks at the Ball were friendlier than I expected. Sometimes it was just because the free Straub's beer flowed easy, but there was another reason as well. It turned out that a stranger overheard someone who knew me say "That's Max". Word spread that I was Max Brooks, the author of books on zombies, including The Zombie Survival Guide, who was scheduled to appear the next day. I was unaware of the mistaken identification until someone-- a zombie 1950s soda jerk and his bride, a zombie diner waitress-- finally mentioned the book. They had been very friendly. When I said that was not that Max, boy, did the friendliness disappear. (And they had two of the best costumes, too. Sigh.) Instead, I was looked at with what seemed to me to be major disappointment! (On the plus side, it brought back memories of my honeymoon.)

(Just kidding, Jane!)

We saw a zombie bride and groom, a zombie Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Jackie Kennedy, and even a zombie Mr. Rogers!

The next morning was the Zombie Walk.


Below is a picture of one of the makeup students from Tom Savini's film makeup school located here in Pittsburgh. She was one of several talented students on hand to do a free makeup for those not wearing any; she did my makeup.


Update, Dec. 2007: Cyle W. was kind enough to send this picture, showing this blog's namesake among several of the talented makeup students who helped make the event successful:

Pictures of the walk's putrifying participants...

Zombies need caffeine as well as brains!

Yes Virginia, Santa Claus is a zombie.

The family that eats brains together stays together...

Above: The most Continental zombie on the Walk. Or perhaps a zombie member of the Collins family?

Below: "Step right up folks and see the living dead!! It'll only cost you one measly cerebrum!"

Then the creepy crawl began...

And here we are...

The sticky makeup blood daubed on my face stained my skin, and for a couple of days at work I looked like I'd gotten a sunburn on parts of my puss.

However, my face was never redder than just before getting the makeup applied. I swallowed a big gulp of coffee-- it was early in the day, and I was jonesin'-- and it started done the wrong pipe. (Coulda short-circuited my robot body!) But instinct kicked in and I found myself spewing it, hitting the shoes of a young kid standing nearby. Is severe embarrassment fatal? I wonder-- I think I almost died from it!

After the Walk, we went back to the Fest proper and spent money like good consumer zombies!

Above is a business check from the George Romero movie MARTIN. Bought it from John Russo because it had a nice, clear signature of Romero and Richard Rubenstein. I had Mr. Russo sign it as well.

I chatted with Mr. Russo a bit, and he was an interesting guy. Direct, candid but polite, and unsentimental. He revealed that he couldn't talk too much because everyone connected with NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD had participated in a 40th anniversary documentary ("One For The Fire") about the classic film, and was under a contract not to give interviews until its release. He did say that some of the films that have most impressed him were THE GODFATHER and THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES. He did add, "But making a list of 'favorites' is a child's game."

I enjoyed him a lot. As I did chatting with Kyra Schon, Bill Hinsman, (NOTLD) and Jarlath Conroy (DAY OF THE DEAD). Mr. Conroy, who is still a working actor, was a funny, charming teller of anecdotes. I hope I see him a lot more in films and on TV.

I also got the autograph of Judith O'Dea on the same Romero business check. That didn't go as well. She was still beautiful nearly forty years after the making of NOTLD, and was polite and cheerful. She talked easily with fans. But apparently not if you asked too many questions! (I asked three or four, and no one else was at her table at the time.) She surprised me by speaking with a decided British accent, so I asked where she was born and raised. She said here in the United States. So I asked if she had spent some time in England. She replied something like "No. What you're hearing is the fact that I've done a lot of English plays. I've always lived and worked here [the U.S.]. " I thought, "Then it's a good thing you never toured in The Miracle Worker when you were a kid!" I asked her about horror movies, and she stated she wasn't a fan of them, but was enjoyably scared as a kid by THE WOLF MAN and CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. Then she mentioned the contractual obligation not to give interviews and said "I think I've talked to you quite enough." I slunk away, embarrassed. (You oughtta see a drunken severed head slink sometime. Jane tells me it's quite a sight.)

Back to the Zombie Fest photos!

Below: "Saucy Randy" of The Ubangis tends to Brian Horrorwitz's zombie dog Bella.

Now here's a heartwarming photo-- an insane Ubangi with his hypnotized zombie pooch waiting to fed upon by zombie Bill Hinsman!

Another hallmark moment:

And here's two surprising celebrities on hand: zombie Supergirl and zombie Superman, killed by glowing kryptonite!

Gas has passed

The DSH is blown away by the recent passing of Gas. Sir Frederick Gas, that is. He was actually Earl Bennett (no, not the football player!), and a man of many talents. He was best known for his years as a performer with Spike Jones And His City Slickers. Later Bennett worked as an editor for various Hanna-Barbera TV series, including Frankenstein, Jr. And The Impossibles (1966) and Scooby-Do (1969).

He was also a gifted painter who had studied under Thomas Hart Benton. Clips of Bennett talking about Benton can be seen in the 1989 Ken Burns documentary THOMAS HART BENTON, and a portion of Bennett's comments can be seen here.

In the video clip with this post, Gas/Bennett is seen in the middle, his mop of hair teased out, and singing the opening vocal portion. He does a very good parody of the lead singer of The Ink Spots.

Frederick Gas/Earl Bennett was a talented and funny man, and am truly sorry to hear of his death on Oct. 4th. (Even if it provides for a funny subject line.) But there is good news to share: the Spike Jones TV series, which the video clip comes from, is being released on dvd on Oct 30th!!

A more detailed obit can be seen here:
Sir Frederick Gas (Earl Bennett)

Right: Bennett is seen dressed in black, menacing Peter Lorre.

Special thanks to George Chastain.