Countdown Day 30: Unloved candies

If I found the candies in this post in my trick or treat bag, I'd give 'em away-- or maybe save some of them for some dire sugar-jonesin' emergency. Feh!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, I give you my most disliked trick-or-treat candies of all time!

Licorice. (The above are licorice "Snaps")

Necco Wafers.

Circus Peanuts.

Candy corn and peanut butter taffy. (Okay, I didn't hate peanut butter taffy, but it was a low priority confectionary acquisition.)



Most hard candies.

Root beer barrels and butterscotch buttons were just barely acceptable. But cinnamon, mint or fruit-flavored hard candies were the LAST candies I ever wanted to get. Hell, gimme gum or frickin' tiny boxes of raisins over those weird-tastin' teeth-rotters!

And fruit flavor "filled" hard candy, leftover from the previous Christmas and handed out by cheap old ladies with smelly hands, was THE worst! Charlie Brown coulda traded me his rocks for 'em! Pooey!

Wait, I take that back. Here's the WORST hard candy:


Horehound candies! BLECCHH!!! The only saving grace of horehound was having it allowed you to say a bad word without getting into trouble, like when you got to say "ass" in a Bible verse or when I could refer to the dams in my hometown region in northern Arkansas, such as the Norfork Lake dam or Bull Shoals lake dam.

And speaking of "naughty words" you could get away with saying, man, I gotta have a cocktail! Must get the taste of this post outta my mouth! Perhaps I'll have a drink known as "a Candy Bar." It does taste just like it's namesake--oh, it's delicious! Here's the recipe, courtesy of the CD Kitchen site:

Candy Bar Cocktail:

Ingredients

1 ounce vodka
1 ounce white creme de cacao
1 ounce dark creme de cacao
2 tablespoons peanut butter
1 teaspoon chocolate syrup
Crushed ice

Directions

Combine all in an old fashioned glass; blend until smooth, strain.

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Image sources of nasty sweets are found here, here, here, and here.

Countdown Day 29: Memories of Making a Monster

Frankensteinia is the internet's premier site for information and commentary on all things related to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. It's the blog of comic artist and writer Pierre Fournier .

Today, with pleasure, I feature a monster reminiscence by Pierre.

Here's a true story about the day Pierre became a monster...
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My Career As a Monster Maker

I was a first generation Monster Kid, hooked on monsters. I was raised on Shock Theater and Famous Monsters magazine, Aurora kits, the whole deal, and I was fascinated with special effects and monster makeups.

I would read up on and study makeup effects. I sent away for Dick Smith’s how-to magazine published by FM’s Warren Publications. I bought collodion and perfected my scar technique. I got some liquid latex, a thick, brownish-red substance with a sickly-sweet smell, and made some decent skullcaps and simple appliances. I even found a way to color the latex by mixing a few drops of it with acrylic paint. I experimented with grease paint, crepe hair and spirit gum.

One day, I found a formula for “plasticine”. Using flour, water, baking soda — I forget the exact recipe — you got a type of dough that could be sculpted, and it would harden as it dried. It wasn’t really any good as a substitute for clay or plasticine, but fooling around with it, I discovered that a freshly mixed batch was sticky enough to apply to your face, and if you worked quickly enough, you could shape it and give yourself a deformed monster face.

It was a lot like the character in Doctor X who slathers goop on his face, mumbling “Synthetic flesssssh!!!”. Best of all, gravity and the heat from your face would cause the false face to droop slowly, as if it was melting!

So one Halloween evening, in my mid-teens, I was hanging out with two pals and we decided to pull a joke on a friend of ours. I mixed a batch of goop and slapped it on. I remember my pals reacting wildly to my appearance. The mixture was a dull white, giving me a puffed, deathly pale complexion, and it sagged slowly, right on cue, turning me into The Boy With The Melting Face. I completed the effect with a pair of thick white gardening gloves. I stuffed some cotton into the fingers giving myself big knobby knuckles.

We headed out, using the back alleys, staying away from the busy sidewalks, and we walked a couple of block to our friend’s place. When he answered the doorbell, my pals stepped aside, revealing me, standing in the moonlight. Our friend was properly startled, as planned, we all had a laugh about it, and then we headed back to the apartment so I could pull the stuff off. That’s when it got interesting…

Cutting back through the alleyway, there was a garbage truck making the rounds. Just as we walked by, a garbage man came around the truck and face to face with me. It was very dark and there I was, a kid with a pale, bloated, melting face. The man froze, his eyes bulged, his knees buckled, and he literally jumped back, swearing loudly. I just kept going and, as we walked away, we could hear the guy jabbering excitedly with his partner. “Did you see THAT?? Did you see HIS FACE? It’s a monster!” he said. “A MONSTER!!!”

We got home and before I pulled the stuff off and washed my face, I got a good look at myself in a mirror and, yeah, it was better than I had hoped for. My “face” was sickly and swollen, with droopy eyes, something like Leo G. Carroll in TARANTULA. Boy, it was really nasty looking.

And that was my career as a Monster Maker. Years later, some of what I had learned was useful when I fell for a season with a professional theatrical troupe, building props and helping with wigs. Eventually, I gave away my makeup books and I went into illustration and comics.

My career as a Monster Maker may have been a short one, but I like to think it was successful. I know it was. I had scared an adult!
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Mark Statler and His Creepy Classic Chiller Band

This CD is perfect for Monster Kids of Boomer and Gen X age. Not exactly a Halloween CD, it is still an excellent choice for perking up one's Halloween spirit. An online description of the CD describes it as "Bluesy 50's-60's light rock and roll tribute to classic horror films of the 30's thru 50's." If you like The Moon Rays, you'll like Mark and his band.

Both nicely-performed covers and original songs are here, including Statler-penned tributes to the makeup men of Hollywood and a tribute song to the annual Monster Bash classic horror film convention. Best of the covers, IMHO, are these tunes: a kick-ass version of Al Caiola's arrangement of Mancini's Experiment in Terror, an energetic Haunted House, and a romantic crooning of Moonglow, which opens with a wolf (or maybe werewolf) howl in the background. (The song is nice contrast to the horror novelty selections.)

You can listen to excerpts from the CD, and buy a copy, at Indie Rhythm .

You can also purchase or download it from CD Baby.

OR you can help support the Monster Bash, a great convention, by buying it at this Creepy Classics page.

Recommended for Halloween!

BORIS KARLOFF AND HIS FRIENDS is a legendary LP from the late Sixties. On it, Monster Kids from that era were treated to an audio trip thru Hollywood horror history with Boris Karloff as the host. It was conceived and co-produced by musician, makeup artist and mask-maker Verne Langdon, who also created the classic albums The Phantom Of The Organ and Vampyre at the Harpsichord. It featured a script by everyone's "Uncle Forry," Forrest Ackerman, the editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine.

There has never been a tape or CD release of the record since that time.

Until NOW!

This CLASSIC RECORDING from Electric Lemon Record C0. has been DIGITALLY RE-MASTERED as a CD from NEWLY-DISCOVERED ORIGINAL 15 IPS TAPE MASTERS! This never-before-heard Monster Mania Master has never sounded so good.

A hallmark of horror for your sense of hearing, it takes you back to that Golden Age in "Horrorwood, Karloffornia", when all those Universal-ly loved monsters were up to no good on the silver screen. Besides King Karloff, you'll also hear Boris's friends in frightdom, such as Bela Lugosi, in clips from the milestones of monster movies.

Boris' magnificently malevolent voice is elegantly backed by the musical grandeur of the massive, 34-ranks-of-pipes WURLITZER THEATRE ORGAN, with a score specially composed by Verne Langdon for the album.

The ORIGINAL AN EVENING WITH BORIS KARLOFF AND HIS FRIENDS is where the celebrated collector's album all began, and the CD's booklet includes Verne Langdon's personal account of the afternoon spent with Mr. Karloff. ALSO included are photos taken at the session from Verne Langdon's own personal photo collection. Never before seen pics of the King of Horror? I SO have to buy one of these! This really is one of my favorite records, and I highly recommend it!

You can too--HERE!

Ubangis' Halloween Party in Maryland Springs, MD

This Saturday, October 31st, 2009, The Ubangis return to the lovely The Quarry House Tavern for another big Halloween blowout! (8401 Georgia Ave, Silver Spring, MD 20910; phone # 301-587-8350.)Last year's show there was a blast and this year will be even better! Joining The Ubangis is the horrorotic Halloween burlesque stylings of Shortstaxx! Plus our good buddy the amazing DJ BuMp from Baltimore will be spinning the Halloween tunes all night long! There will also be an awesome costume contest with prizes! Not to mention a couple of sets from yer ever-lovin' cave-stompers The Ubangis! Fun for every boil and ghoul! Yes, you won't wanna miss this one! Show starts at 9pm! Admission is tba but will be in the $5 to $10 range. Don't forget to wear your costume! ! Muaaah-ha-ha-haaaaa! <---(obligatory maniacal laugh) ~UNGAWA!!!~ Visit the Ubangis' website at http://www.ubangis.com

More cool Ubangis songs and pics on MySpace at
http://www.myspace.com/theubangis

Countdown Day 26 :Halloween Memories From the "Monster Kids of the Vault"

Monsters From the Vault is one of my favorite magazines; it is one of the very best magazines out there for classic horror film appreciation. It is published and edited by monster-kids-from-the-vault Jim and Marian Clatterbaugh, seen below with their Rondo Award plaque honoring their induction into the 2008 Rondo Award Monster Kid Hall of Fame.

I'm honored and delighted (not de-lit, which I never am) to have an interview with them about their memories of--and comments on--Halloweens past and present.
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HALLOWEEN MEMORIES

Jim & Marian Clatterbaugh

Publishers of Monsters from the Vault

What was your favorite/least favorite Halloween candy or treats?

Marian: Favorite: Mounds bars. Least favorite: hard candy. I lived on a long street, so my bag would get full and heavy pretty quickly. I think it was my first trick-or-treating night when my bag broke and candy spilled out all over someone’s walkway. I was only about 3 years old, and my mother was with me to rescue most of the candy, so I don’t remember that it was too traumatic.

Jim: Favorite: Those homemade candy popcorn balls, and Mallow Cups. Lots of the people in my neighborhood made items to give out at Halloween instead of candy, and those popcorn balls were always my favorites. I used to hit the homes that gave them out a couple of times to accumulate more. A few years ago I purchased some packaged ones at a store and they weren’t so good, so maybe I should make some for myself! Least favorite: I never liked it when people gave out fruit like apples and bananas. No kid wants healthy food in their trick or treat bag.

Tell us about some of the costumes you dressed up in.

Marian: My mother made most of my costumes, including Witch, Black Cat, Ghost, and Peter Pan. The last year I went trick-or-treating, I put together my own costume, a Beatnik. [Click on any picture below to see it larger.]

Jim: My favorite costume was a Ben Cooper Frankenstein costume. I wore that costume for years, and since I was rather tall as a child my mother had to add material to the bottom of the legs so it would fit me year after year as I continued to grow.

Truthfully, that’s the only costume I can remember, and I’m extremely proud to say I have the same costume mint in a box today. I purchased it at a Chiller Theatre convention in the early 1990s. However, I, like just about every other kid who read monster magazines in the 1960s, would love to have had one of the Don Post masks and hands that were advertised within the pages of Famous Monsters of Filmland. But at $39.98 for the mask and another $19.98 for the hands, I, like just about every other kid, could only dream of that. In the 1960s that was our entire household budget for a week probably!

What decor and/or accessories of Halloween do you remember?

Marian: I remember those papier-mâché jack-o-lanterns—wish I still had one of the originals now! I do, however, collect vintage Halloween decorations as well as new decorations, and I have a large collection of the Dept. 56 Halloween Village houses, figures, and accessories.

Jim: I always liked the Halloween skeletons, monsters, witches, cats, etc. made of thin cardboard that were jointed so that you could hang and pose them on your door or window. Other favorites were the metal noisemakers that you twirled around by a handle to make noise. I guess you could call them party favors. Fortunately, Marian and I have been able to collect a few of those over the years.

Costumes you’ve seen that impressed you as VERY good or VERY bad...?

Marian: Very good: At a Halloween party after a friend’s book signing, someone dressed up as one of the ghostly characters in her book, using filmy material with lights underneath it. Very bad: Those T-shirts that say “This IS my costume!”

Jim: Very good: Truthfully, I don’t remember any truly spectacular costumes growing up, but over the years at various conventions and parties I’ve seen some truly great stuff. Very bad: Any costume that wasn’t scary. To me, Halloween is about frights so I think all costumes should be scary. No princess’ or cute costumes—not even for babies or young kids!

Did you trick or treat on your own or with others?

Marian: I went around with my sisters and the neighborhood kids.

Jim: I always went around with the kids in my neighborhood, and then we would usually attend a party at someone’s house.

Did you ever play a trick on anyone—if so, what was it?

Marian: I was pretty tame—maybe soaped a few windows.

Jim: Once I was too old to go trick or treating (around 13), my friends and I would dress up, hide in bushes and dark spots, and jump out and scare the younger kids as they went from house to house. Many times they would drop their bags of candy and take off running, so we’d end up with plenty of candy even though we didn’t go trick or treating! One of our favorite things to do was build a zip line and make a ghost to slide down the line at the kids as they approached the door. This was always highly effective.

Do trick-or-treaters come to your door, and if so, do you give ’em candy?

Marian & Jim: Yes, unless the weather is horrible, we sit outside on the driveway by a fire pit (kind of a tradition in our court) and greet trick-or-treaters. Marian usually wears a witch hat and something festive. We average only between 30 and 50 kids a year, so there’s always plenty of candy left for us.

Do you still celebrate Halloween in any way?

Marian: We have a whole line-up of spooky films on hand for Halloween day and night (minus the trick-or-treating hours), and sometimes the day before and after Halloween (Dia de los Muertos, the "Day of the Dead"), depending on when Halloween falls in the week.

Jim: While we haven’t done it for a while, we use to dig out our MANY boxes of Halloween decorations and do the house up, and have a Halloween party for our friends. Hopefully, this is something we’ll start up again in the near future. We publish the classic horror magazine Monsters from the Vault, and Marian collects all types of Halloween decorations (and collectibles related to the film, The Nightmare Before Christmas, which we watch each Halloween), and I collect both vintage and new monster toys (mostly relating to the monsters from the classic Universal films of the 1930s and 40s), so it looks like Halloween in our house 365 days a year. We also love this time of year so much that we got married in October (1997) and took a trip to New England for our honeymoon, which included a stopover in Salem, Massachusetts, where it’s Halloween 365 days a year. Then on our fifth anniversary in 2002, after attending the October Chiller Theatre convention in New Jersey, we made a second trip to Salem, and I had one of my greatest moments as an Editor/Publisher of Monsters from the Vault when we entered this really cool comic book shop and discovered that they had a really nice display of monster magazines—but better yet—the whole top shelf of the display was devoted to Monsters from the Vault! As you can imagine, I was smiling from ear to ear!

Finally, for years I used to work at various haunted attractions during the Halloween season, and I always had a ball doing it. I guess it reminded me of the more innocent times of the 1960s when I used to scare the younger kids in the neighborhood. I keep telling myself I want to get involved with a local haunted attraction, but I always seem to have too much on my plate to do it. So until then, we at least try to hit one of the several cool haunted attractions near us each October to get a fright or two in celebration of old All Hallows Eve, to cap off our favorite holiday and time of year, and to feel like we’re kids again!

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Thanks for the Halloween nostalgia, Marian and Jim!

Monsters From The Vault is currently published twice a year. It's only purpose, says Jim, is "to keep the memories of the monsters of my (and our contributors' and readers') childhood alive and well." Jim and Marian succeed very well in this mission!