Countdown Day 25: Trip to a Halloween store

One of the few places that seemed to stock MORE, rather than LESS Halloween items this year was the retail chain Party City. Jane and I went to check it out--here are the photos we took of some cool stuff.
























Elvis has left the building...

Countdown Day 24: Recommended : PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED

Don't let the rather amateurish cover art put you off. This is an often amusing, FUN play that has a Tales From the Crypt-style host, Gus the Ghoul, introducing horror sketches, each with a twist. If you like classic horror anthology films and comics, you'll like PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED.

The Empty Bottle Theater Group did an audio dramatization of the Playhouse segment titled "A Lady of the Night" for a WORLDS OF WAYNE podcast, which you can play or download here.

Many of the play's segments can be read at author Richard Nathan's Playhouse of the Damned website. (An especially enjoyable one is the one titled "A Night in Transylvania.") You can buy a copy of the whole script at Amazon or at Xlibris.

Below is an excerpt from the sketch "Trick or Treat, which had an ending I didn't quite see coming. I'd love to see the whole play presented live (or better, undead) someday.
______________________________________________________________

The spotlight is up on our host, GUS THE GHOUL, while the set for the next story is prepared. This story takes place in the front parlor of Miss Hamilton's house. It is Halloween night. An empty candy dish is by the door.

GUS
Our next story takes place in the house of Miss Hamilton on Halloween night. Last Halloween I went trick-or-treating...down at the mortuary, but they wouldn't give me a single bite to eat. So I soaped all their windows. They didn't like that. Morticians have no sense of humor. Everything about morticians is so formal. Formal dress, formal manners, formal-dehyde.

Now I'm going to hide, while you stay here and watch "Trick or Treat."

Gus exits. The spotlight goes out, and during the blackout MISS HAMILTON enters and goes to the front door of her house. She is dressed in a traditional witch's costume, to celebrate Halloween. As the lights come up, she is calling out the open door, speaking to someone who has just left her house.

MISS HAMILTON
Good night, dear. Happy Halloween!

VOICE (off-stage)
Thank you, Miss Hamilton.

Miss Hamilton closes the door and looks at the empty candy dish.

MISS HAMILTON

Dear, dear. I must remember to buy more candy next year. I've never run out so early
before. I hope I don't get any more children tonight.

There's a loud, insistent knocking at the front door, and we hear the voice of a LITTLE GIRL.

LITTLE GIRL (off-stage)

Trick or treat!

MISS HAMILTON

Maybe if I don't answer the door, she'll think
no one's home.

LITTLE GIRL (off-stage)

Hey! I said, "Trick or treat!" Come on, I know you're in there! I can see the lights
on!

Miss Hamilton sights and opens the door. The Little Girl, wearing a witch's costume and holding a big bag of candy, stands in the doorway.

LITTLE GIRL

Trick or treat!

MISS HAMILTON

I'm very sorry, little girl, but I don't have any more candy. I've given it all away.

LITTLE GIRL
You're in big trouble, lady. You're supposed to have enough candy for everybody!

MISS HAMILTON
Why don't you come back tomorrow night. I promise I'll have more candy then.

LITTLE GIRL

I want candy now!

MISS HAMILTON

How would you like a nice shiny quarter?

LITTLE GIRL

How'd you like toilet paper all over your yard?

MISS HAMILTON

That isn't very nice.

The Little Girl marches into the house and slams the door behind her.

LITTLE GIRL

I'm not leaving here until I get some candy!

Miss Hamilton decides to scare the child.

MISS HAMILTON

Listen, little girl. I'm a wicked witch, and if you don't behave yourself, you're going to be very sorry!

LITTLE GIRL

Don't give me that!

MISS HAMILTON
All right! I'll make you a deal! If you'll forget about the candy, I'll teach you a genuine witch's spell!

LITTLE GIRL

What kind of spell?

MISS HAMILTON

I'll tell you how to summon the demon, Slogg Soggoth!

***************************************************

Read the rest of "Trick or Treat" here.

Silent Film Comedy Drunkeness Lives Again

Some genius has taken hilarious mini-mart security video of a drunk guy trying to buy beer and made it even funnier by making it into a silent film-style comedy. Here's the result:



See the original footage here.

Countdown Day 23: Worst Buy!

I bought a novelty dvd for Halloween that I absolutely can't recommend. It's Drew's Famous MASSACRE MUSEUM. (Must have been old stock, since it was released last year.) The cover says it "turns your TV into a spine-chilling tour of a haunted museum"--HA! It's just a series of visual parodies of some famous (and a few obscure) works of art. Some are well done, some not, a handful are clever. There's no surprise shocks, no eerie music; in fact, I found nothing "spine-chilling" about it at all. Unless you count the horror I felt when I realized I'd wasted money on a disk that lasts four minutes, then loops the same two dozen or so images over and over.

Here's the best of this worst Halloween dvd purchase. (The top image scored some humor points when the applied organs fell off the blood-sticky canvas, evoking and mocking Jackson Pollack's splatter technique.)






I may not know art, but I know what I like.

Countdown Day 22: FJA's Anthology of the Living Dead

This being the first Halloween without "Uncle Forry" of Famous Monsters of Filmland fame, it is comforting to know that he has one more thing to say to his fans, having contributed a foreword to a new book, Forrest J Ackerman's The Anthology of the Living Dead. It also features stories by writers like Stoker Award-winner Del Howison, Axelle Carolyn, Cassandra Lee, Joe Knetter, Eric Enck, Joe Moe, and others. As an editor and literary agent, FJA assisted with many anthologies, and I'm happy that there is one more for my library.

About Joe Moe's tale, Forry had this to say:

"Joe Moe was raised on my iconic monster magazine and is now raising monsters of his own. In his story, A HICCUP. A REMEDY, Joe gives a fresh (er, rotten?) spin to the Zombie genre. Like Joe's screenwriting, his short story is cinematic, disturbing and wildly creative. In short, Joe Moe's gruesome tale is to (un)die for!"

The Drunken Severed Head recommends this book for your Halloween reading. You can purchase it here from Amazon.

Ten-HUT!!

I see that The Drunken Severed Head has exceeded 100 "followers." Hooray!

ONE HUNDRED AND ONE FOLLOWERS. As many as those dalmations of Disney's! Mine to command! More followers and supporters than James K. Polk, Billy Ray Cyrus, or Charles Manson ever had, or even Ralph Nader! (Yeah, Nader got more than 101 VOTES, but he's never had 101 "followers, stalkers, friends and the easily impressed.")

This is enough for me to be considered a company, with me as the captain! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

I'm looking around at other blogs with fewer followers for a pre-emptive strike! I need to annex some bandwidth. Hmmmm...who should it be?

More to come!