Don't let the rather amateurish cover art put you off. This is an often amusing, FUN play that has a Tales From the Crypt-style host, Gus the Ghoul, introducing horror sketches, each with a twist. If you like classic horror anthology films and comics, you'll like PLAYHOUSE OF THE DAMNED.The Empty Bottle Theater Group did an audio dramatization of the Playhouse segment titled "A Lady of the Night" for a WORLDS OF WAYNE podcast, which you can play or download here.
Many of the play's segments can be read at author Richard Nathan's Playhouse of the Damned website. (An especially enjoyable one is the one titled "A Night in Transylvania.") You can buy a copy of the whole script at Amazon or at Xlibris.
Below is an excerpt from the sketch "Trick or Treat, which had an ending I didn't quite see coming. I'd love to see the whole play presented live (or better, undead) someday.
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The spotlight is up on our host, GUS THE GHOUL, while the set for the next story is prepared. This story takes place in the front parlor of Miss Hamilton's house. It is Halloween night. An empty candy dish is by the door.
GUS
Our next story takes place in the house of Miss Hamilton on Halloween night. Last Halloween I went trick-or-treating...down at the mortuary, but they wouldn't give me a single bite to eat. So I soaped all their windows. They didn't like that. Morticians have no sense of humor. Everything about morticians is so formal. Formal dress, formal manners, formal-dehyde.
Now I'm going to hide, while you stay here and watch "Trick or Treat."
Gus exits. The spotlight goes out, and during the blackout MISS HAMILTON enters and goes to the front door of her house. She is dressed in a traditional witch's costume, to celebrate Halloween. As the lights come up, she is calling out the open door, speaking to someone who has just left her house.
MISS HAMILTON
Good night, dear. Happy Halloween!
VOICE (off-stage)
Thank you, Miss Hamilton.
Miss Hamilton closes the door and looks at the empty candy dish.
MISS HAMILTON
Dear, dear. I must remember to buy more candy next year. I've never run out so early
before. I hope I don't get any more children tonight.
There's a loud, insistent knocking at the front door, and we hear the voice of a LITTLE GIRL.
LITTLE GIRL (off-stage)
Trick or treat!
MISS HAMILTON
Maybe if I don't answer the door, she'll think
no one's home.
LITTLE GIRL (off-stage)
Hey! I said, "Trick or treat!" Come on, I know you're in there! I can see the lights
on!
LITTLE GIRL
Trick or treat!
MISS HAMILTON
I'm very sorry, little girl, but I don't have any more candy. I've given it all away.
LITTLE GIRL
You're in big trouble, lady. You're supposed to have enough candy for everybody!
MISS HAMILTON
Why don't you come back tomorrow night. I promise I'll have more candy then.
LITTLE GIRL
I want candy now!
MISS HAMILTON
How would you like a nice shiny quarter?
LITTLE GIRL
How'd you like toilet paper all over your yard?
MISS HAMILTON
That isn't very nice.
The Little Girl marches into the house and slams the door behind her.
LITTLE GIRL
I'm not leaving here until I get some candy!
Miss Hamilton decides to scare the child.
MISS HAMILTON
Listen, little girl. I'm a wicked witch, and if you don't behave yourself, you're going to be very sorry!
LITTLE GIRL
Don't give me that!
MISS HAMILTON
All right! I'll make you a deal! If you'll forget about the candy, I'll teach you a genuine witch's spell!
LITTLE GIRL
What kind of spell?
MISS HAMILTON
I'll tell you how to summon the demon, Slogg Soggoth!
Read the rest of "Trick or Treat" here.
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