Wonderfest & the Rondos, Pt. 6: The Nausea

Are you sick of me posting about Wonderfest? But I haven't even gotten to the best parts! The Rondo Award ceremony, the displays of masks, model work, vintage monster toys and vintage magazine art-- and best of all, my whack collection of crazy-cool friends I saw!

Well, my birthday is coming up and I'm gonna take my "Max gets spoiled" pregorative to early-- today you get to see and read all about me (urrg, glug) getting my Rondo Award!

The 2010 Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards Ceremony

Okay, the presentation for "Best Horror Blog" started off with an unintended laugh: Host David Colton, who was assisted by comedienne Lynda Wylie, said the winner was "The Drunken Shrunken Head"-- after several in the audience shouted out "SEVERED!", he said, "I'm the one who's shrunken!" (This a comment on the fact that David wasn't as tall as his co-host.) Then he added, with a sly-but-good-natured-poke at my online campaign for votes, "I don't know if Max Cheney is here, as he didn't want this award."

Comic actress Linda Wylie and host David Colton.

Well, nothing on Earth or in Hell would have kept me away-- but in order to have my full strength and dexterity as a severed head, I had to show up attached to my robot body:

I wore a sporty new leopard-skin hat, in case some in the audience failed to recognize my name but thought my fez was familiar!

Photo by Gary Prange.

Then Jane assisted me in putting a matching fez on "my leetle frien'," as Al Pacino might introduce HIS Rondo in Scarface, if he'd had one in that movie.

Look! Mini-Me!

Like David Colton, I was lucky to be assisted by the very funny and lovely Linda Wylie, who crawled under the table on my behalf! No, not to slap me awake from a alcohol-induced stupor, but to become a certain famous puppet speaking in his trademark squeaky falsetto...Here's what happened, from the sketch I wrote (with a little assistance from my friend Jeff Pripusich):

MAX:

To quote a sage philosopher, Sandra Bullock, "Did I really earn this or did I just wear you down?"

I'm very surprised to be the winner of this year's Rondo Award for Best Blog. I had fully expected my friend Pierre of Frankensteinia would win. He had some impressive celebrity endorsements such as his endorsement by Tim Lucas of Video Watchdog.

But I had a celebrity endorsement of my own. It flew under the radar, but it produced hundreds of votes and brought me success. I'd like to introduce that celebrity to you now.

(ELMO pops up.)
Elmo sometimes looked a little drunken himself. Photo by Gary Prange.

ELMO:

Hello, drunken severed head!

MAX:

Hello Elmo! Thank you for your endorsement!

ELMO:

You're welcome! My followers are legion and they follow my every command! I told them to copy and paste my e-mail ballot and send it in, and they did!

MAX:

And because of you, I won!

ELMO:

Yes, you did. You owe me BIG time!

MAX:

Yes I do!

ELMO:

You still haven't sent me the check you promised!

MAX:

Hush, felt face! I'll get it to you!

ELMO:

You don't understand! I need it to hire protection! Tim Lucas is sending me death threats!

MAX:

I'll get it to you tonight! So, do you like my Rondo Award?

ELMO:

Well...it looks like Jimmy Durante on steroids. I never heard of one until you contacted me. What is a Rondo Award for?

MAX:

Well, I've been thinking about it, and I think it's FOR this: Killing Easter Peeps!

(MAX pulls blue marshmallow Peeps from a box, starts smashing them with his award--fragments fly everywhere.)

Die! Die! Die!

ELMO:

Die, evil Easter candy, Die! (to MAX) Can I have a piece of that Peep? I'll take a wing!

MAX:

Sure!

(He feeds ELMO some pieces of Peeps)

ELMO:

Nom nom nom!

MAX:

Kids! When you're done playing with your food, a Rondo makes a good "sky god" to frighten your monster toys with!

(Waves Rondo above a Frankenstein figure)

GRRR! RRLLL! Pay no attention to the severed head behind the microphone!

ELMO:

So, blog boy, how does it feel to have a Rondo?

MAX:

Well, I'll tell you!

(Begins singing to the tune of "Everything's Coming Up Roses")

I FEEL SWELL!/I FEEL GREAT!
NOT JUST A HEAD ON A PLATE!
STARTING HERE, STARTING NOW
I CAN SHOUT I WON A RONDO!

Take it, Elmo!

ELMO:

Okay!

(Singing to the same tune)

AND EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ELMO!

AND YOOOOUUUU OWE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

MAX:

Thanks Elmo! (aside, impatiently) I'll get you that check!

(MAX bops ELMO on the head, knocking ELMO out of sight)

See you later!

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[Then I named everyone I was grateful to-- here's where you check to see if YOU made the cut of names I could recall:]

Photo by Elizabeth Haney.

The following people gave me the encouragement and/or assistance that made my blog a success: Terry Ingram, Raymond Castile, the UMA, Pierre Fournier, Chris Davis, Joe Moe, Richard Olson, John Cozzoli, Jim Bertges, Ted Newsom, Don Glut, David Colton, Laura Chiaramida, Diane Irby, Sparkle Plenty, The Roads of Autumn Dusk blog and The Skull and Pumpkin blog.

And especially my patient and supportive wife Jane, who I wouldn't trade for a group marraiage to [magazine publishers] Donna Lucas and Marion Clatterbaugh, and three clones of Meghan Fox! Although that would make a good idea for a reality series...Anyway, thanks everyone!

[Then I was off to change into my less-bedazzling, more lumpen, clumsy, everyday android body. Later in the ceremony, I was asked to speak about my late friend Linda Miller, who the "Linda Miller Fan Artist of the Year" Rondo Award is now named for. I talked about her impressive watercolor technique, her persistence in spite of her serious vision troubles, her wit, and her generosity with her many friends scattered around the country. I got a lump in my throat and it was just a bit hard to speak...Soon after that, all the nominees had received their awards and it was all over but the photo-taking.]

"Tell us we don't have to give these back!"

Lynda Wylie, on the far right, seems stunned by the camera flash.

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After the ceremony came the fitting end-- to me! Or nearly so-- fellow nominee Tim Lucas shows what happens to people who beat him in the blog category:

I was all choked up by his emotional reaction to my win.

Wonderfest and the Rondos, Pt. 5

ZOMBIE WAITERS!

Ever seen any at a restaurant? I don't mean waiters who are slow, have a bad attitude and aren't focused on what they're doing. There's too many of them. No, I mean the rare kind- REAL, brain-eating zombie waiters! Well at the 2010 Wonderfest Banquet, they were on hand! (And on foot, and on leg, and on head, and any other part they could sink their teeth into!)

Here's a few pics:
They WERE kind enough to feed folks before trying to feed ON them.

Photo By: Terry Pace

Here, two of our living dead servers menace Wonderfest guest and scream queen Linnea Quigley!

I'm happy to report that Ms. Quigley survived intact. Like a beautiful cake in a baking contest, she was just too pretty to consume! Me, however-- well, I'm just lucky there's any of me left!

At the end of the banquet, these two ghouls above actually brought some Jello brains to the table where the celebrity guests were seated. Blood ran out of the mouth of the zombie waiter on the right, and hit at least one plate! Still, celebrity guest William Stout (noted artist and the production designer for Return of the Living Dead, among others) gamely ate a piece anyway!

Above: Zombies, Linnea Quigley, Bill Stout, and brains on a plate.

Wonderfest and the Rondos, Pt. 4

I have SO MANY pictures to share from our recent vacation spent at Wonderfest, that I'm going to break them into categories.

Today I'll give you a tour of "The Old Dark Clubhouse," the hospitality room for fans of classic horror that is set up each year at whatever horror con is hosting the Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards. It is a gracious and very generous gift by host Gary Prange, a moderator at the Classic Horror Film Boards. Presiding as hostess each year is the ever-evanescent and charming Donna Lucas, the publisher of Video Watchdog magazine.

I think you'll get a kick out of the following photos, even if you aren't a "Monster Kid" in love with classic horror films of decades past, and weren't alive when magazines sold the items represented in the decor of The Old Dark Clubhouse. Take your time and savor all the stuff that makes The Old Dark Clubhouse a visual treat for all who enter therein!

(As usual, if you want to see any photo larger, just click on it.)

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A popular part of the room-- the bar:

A working (!) piece of Frankensteinian equipment, built by Mr. Prange:

There had been a working Jacob's Ladder-style piece of equipment, too, but this year it gave up the ghost.

We were up on the sixth floor, but that didn't stop gawkers from looking in:


The entrance to the bathroom:

When you entered, a voice from hidden speaker said, "Welcome to the Inner Sanctum."




With the bathroom (bat room?) we have-- not surprisingly--reached...the end!

Wondefest and the Rondos, Pt. 3

Got time to post only one pic before sleeping, so it'll be one of the funniest:

This was taken at "The Old Dark Clubhouse," a hospitality room for fans of classic horror. (Named in homage to the 1932 film The Old Dark House, natch.) On the left is HARRY KNOWLES of Ain't It Cool news and a young classic horror fan named Forrest having fun with swizzle sticks. I could hardly take the picture because I was laughing so much!

Wondefest and the Rondos, Pt. 2

Home at last. Slept 12 hours today! Got up after noon. Attending cons is always an exercise in sleep deprivation.

Well, I have to leave shortly, but I thought I'd post a few pics first. I took both my robot body prosthetic (clunky but powerful) and my more human looking regular android body prosthetic-- which is often unreliable. I wore the robot body to the awards ceremony-- you'll see it later-- and the android one to everything else, which you'll see below.

Here's my general reaction to my good fortune at winning the Rondo Award:


An amazing tribute by superfan Elizabeth Haney to the magazine art of Ken Kelly:


A giggling gaggle of Rondo winners:


Building the Universal Monster Army vintage toy display:


More to come!

Wonderfest and the Rondos, Pt. 1

Live (almost) from Louisville!

First image today shows my Nickelodeon Applause Gun being used against me after I shared it with a fellow Wonderfest convention attendee:

Here's my Voodoo Queen Jane, and I, the Maxster:

Me and Frankie:

Still on the road. More text and many more photos to come!