News Flash for the New Year!

The news bulletin that Charles Craig (the newscaster in the original Night of the Living Dead) reads here he had written a few minutes before, after chatting with me for about 20 minutes on a slow morning at the 2010 Horror Realm con. Not only did it amuse me, but he was gracious enough to let me record it. A really nice guy.

News Flash: Making insulin the hard way

It was reported this month that scientists have been able to make sperm-producing cells produce insulin. This was done with mice, but eventually might be accomplished with human beings.

I predict a future where treated men will be cruising Craigslist to offer free insulin injections to hot diabetic gals!

"This won't hurt a bit..."


In a related note, here's a photo from the newly-released Little Fockers.

This is posted as a public service, so that you may skip having to see the movie itself. Or, if you think you're tough, you can get the same visual (and more graphically) by going to page seven of this pharmaceutical website. You'll also learn something about how far some men will go to be virile.

Customers of the drug described there who have a sense of humor may want to buy this mousepad:

It can be ordered here.

So long, Leslie Nielsen!

I'm late in saying "farewell" to Leslie Nielsen, because I didn't want to face the fact that he was gone. As a reliable "serious" actor in films like The Poseidon Adventure and as a guest star in series like Night Gallery, Kojak, MASH, and so many others, he was part of my childhood.

When I grew up, he made me laugh in Airplane and in the The Naked Gun movies. The peak of his career and my entry into adulthood occurred at the same time.


And now I'm getting older and he's dead.

But he isn't dead--more like "undead," as long as there is a remote control to operate a TV or a mouse for a computer--depending on how you watch movies and old television.

He was part of my entertainment my entire life--guess he'll continue to be.

Thanks for all the fun, Shirley.

Priest to hand out delayed sentence

Making no political commentary here, but the Associated Press reports,t following the money-laundering conviction of former powerful House Majority Leader Tom Delay, that "DeLay has chosen to have Senior Judge Pat Priest sentence him."

I can just see Herman and Grandpa as bailiffs.

Worst description for a filming schedule EVER

Steven Spielberg is now about to begin production on a long-planned film about Abraham Lincoln that is based on Doris Kearns Goodwin's book, Team of Rivals. The director of E.T. also just signed to work on another film, titled Robopocalypse.

Here's how the website Deadline describes the situation: "Spielberg just committed to Robopocalypse, but it looks like Lincoln will be shot first."

Ow!

Area dentist buys back candy for kids overseas!

From the local CBS affiliate's web site:

Now that Halloween is over, many people do not want candy in their house with good reason.

However, a local dentist is offering a good way to get rid of it and you'll get money for your troubles.

That's where Dr. David Petti comes in. He's buying candy back from people for $1 a pound. The maximum is five pounds, but that's quite a bit of candy.

The rules dictate that you have to be under the age of 18 and have an adult or guardian accompany you to his office in Plum.

The next question is, where is all this candy headed off to?

"We're going to try to send it over to the troops in Afghanistan," Dr. Petti said.

It would be nice to send candy over to soldiers and Marines in Afghanistan, but there's a bigger reason for treating the troops.

The soldiers over there oftentimes give candy to Afghan children and one-by-one it wins hearts and minds.

"That's what they're doing, they're actually handing over only some of their candy to them. I just think it's a good thing. They work pretty hard for us over there," Dr. Petti said.

________________________

To read the rest of this story at the KDKA web site, click here.

Horror Scholarship announced!

I've learned of a great opportunity for macabre-minded college kids. Star Costumes, one of the top suppliers of costumes, makeup, and masks to the American public, is getting civic-minded for a select student! Below is their announcement of a horror scholarship. (How cool izzat?)

To apply, just click on the jack-o-lantern icon at the top of the column to the right.

______________

The 2010 Star Costumes Horror Scholarship

Star Costumes is awarding $1,000 to a student studying to work in the horror film industry.

Why a Horror Scholarship?

We love horror! We make our living selling scary costumes, makeup and masks, and we owe a lot of our success to the creative output of the horror industry. This scholarship is our way to give back, and to help the horror industry continue to terrify us in the years to come.

Currently, there are no other scholarships designed specifically for students planning to enter the horror industry. Our goal is provide assistance to help the brightest and most creative students meet their expenses and help launch their career in horror cinema.

Eligibility Requirements:

Horror Scholarship candidates must meet the following criteria:

• A student with a 3.0 GPA;
• 18 years or older;
• who's currently studying full-time at a undergraduate or graduate post-secondary institution.

The student must be studying in a field designed to prepare them for work in the horror industry. This could include careers such as:

• Makeup artist
• Special effects artist
• Costume designer
• Set designer
• Lighting designer
• Film sound artist
• VFX/CGI artist
• Postproduction specialist
• Film critic
• Screenwriter
• Cinematographer
• Director

_______________________

What great back-to-school noose! I wish there was something like this when *I* was a full-time college student and bodily complete!

A PREVIEW OF FAMOUS MONSTERS 251!

As you know, o loyal TDSH reader, I'm very excited about the re-birth of a venerable brand in horror fandom-- Famous Monsters of Filmland.

It's returned as a website and is on the verge of of its latest magazine incarnation. I've seen issue #251, the official launch issue for the revived rag (and I say "rag" with affection; mummies wear rags!), and I was very encouraged by what I saw! Makes me wanna roll around in a happy frenzy! (But I live in a house with no AC, so I'm staying as still and cool as I can.) Here's a preview of the premiere issue of the new Famous Monsters, which officially debuts this Friday.

___________________

The issue begins with an inside cover greeting from the late Forrest J Ackerman titled "Welcome back, monster lovers!" One of the last things Forry wrote-- he knew he was in his last days when composed it--it's funny, upbeat and moving. He tells us the pages are printed with glue instead of ink: "You have taken your fingers off of your computer keyboards long enough to get them stuck to this magazine!"

Right: Forry's Final Formal Foto

OPENING WOUNDS

Then we see a feature titled "Opening Wounds" where publisher Phil Kim and Editor-in-Chief Michael Heisler address the readers. Phil Kim:

"Even those who never had the fortune to enjoy Famous Monsters of Filmland in its heyday unknowingly benefited from its impact on pop culture...Our mission has not changed much from 1958 which is to be a conduit for undiscovered talent and future giants while never forgetting the history and people that brought us here."

Michael Heisler: "For fans old and new, our challenge is to fire up that enthusiasm once again – not only for the movies that we love, but for imaginative flights in all their forms. There will never be another Forry Ackerman, but the spirit he awakened will always be with us, and you’ll always find it here."


THE IMPORTANCE OF FEAR

The issue begins with scholarly article by Robert Aragon, "The Importance of Fear." It's a history of images of death and the macabre in Western culture, as presented in paintings and literature as far back as the 13th Century, and continuing into the horror films of the 20th.. It's a surprisingly serious opening, but it sets up vividly how Famous Monsters will celebrate Michael Heisler's " imaginative flights in all their forms." It's a choice that no doubt will bring respect for the magazine's gravitas; I hope it doesn't make younger, casual skimmers of the magazine in stores think that Famous Monsters is going to be all about the past. But is a very fine read, richly illustrated.

TO CREATE A PREDATOR
and
A LOOK BACK AT THE ORIGINAL PREDATOR

The next two articles kick the magazine into high monster mode!

Like the original PREDATOR movie? Looking forward to the coming sequel with Adrien Brody and Larry Fishburne? The next two articles will make you happy. The first one ( by Jenna Busch) is a detailed preview of what the latest Predator followup is all about, with quotes from sfx master and Predator designer Greg Nicotero, as well as actors Derek Mears and Carey Jones. Production stills and pictures of concept art provide visuals.

The second PREDATOR article looks at the original 1984 film that was both a great action movie and thrilling horror film. Written by Steve Buncho, it's a great reminder why you should re-watch this classic with Schwarzenegger battling monsters instead of California legislators he fights today.




















DINOSAURS, BLUES, AND ROCK 'N' ROLL: An Interview with William Stout

FM Editor Jessie Lilley has an in-depth conversation with famous artist, illustrator, and film production designer William Stout. Man oh man, it is so well illustrated with Stout's art that by itself, this article makes this debut issue of FM a must buy. And Stout talks not only about films he worked on such as Return of the Living Dead, but also on a Godzilla film he started work on that never saw completion.

Not in FM #251 and the issue is better for it: Wm. Stout meets The Drunken Severed Head at Wonderfest, 2010.

Link to Part 2.

Related post on the new FM: O lucky monster-lovin' me!

Beer limits lead to a strike

According to recent news reports, limitations on worker's access to free beer while at work has led to a strike at a Danish brewery. Scores of warehouse workers, production employees, and truck drivers are participating in the work stoppage. Read more here.

At last, a revolt everyone can understand! (A certain old Beastie Boys frat-boy anthem is playing in my brain right now.)

What's this post at a blog like this without some monsters and beer illustrations? Here:

Image source here.

Clip art by "Mister Elements." Image source here.

I saved the best for last. Here's an impressive lagersaur by UK artist Andy Council:

Image source here.

RONDOS TAINTED BY SCANDAL IN BLOG CATEGORY

APe -- 4 hours ago

By JOE KING, APe Entertainment Writer

WASHINGTON, D. C -- The Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards found itself mired in controversy after making its announcement of the winner in the "Best Blog" category. The blog The Drunken Severed Head was pronounced the honoree for 2009, and immediately a firestorm of criticism and disbelief surrounded the choice.

Former U. S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stated in a press release, "I have been asked by the site Bloody-Disgusting to look into any irregularities. Eh, why not? I got nothing much else to do these days."

Commentators expressed dismay and bewilderment at the polling result, and called into question both the validity of the vote tallying, and the intelligence of the voters.

"I demand a recount," said one of the losing blog nominees, when contacted by phone. (He refused to allow his name to be used, but he spoke with a decided French accent.) "This is merde! I'd move to Canada, but I already live there!"

Fox News political pundit Glenn Beck simply stated, "This makes me cry for my country."

When asked for a reaction, blogger Max Cheney tipped over into a pan of nutrient-laden alcohol and made bubbles with his lips.

In related news: Just after the announcement of the Rondo Awards blog category winner, people all over North America called news outlets, universities, zoos and police to report seeing this strange sight, often referred to in everyday speech:




Image altered from original byjJack Midknight and found HERE.

UGLY AMERICANS premieres tonight!

Comedy Central's new animated series about a NY social worker in the "Dept. of Integration" trying to help monsters live as "ordinary" citizens premieres tonight at 10:30 pm EST/9:30 CST. It's called Ugly Americans, and I'm happy to help get the word out on this. It looks promising. (Man, if it falls on its monstrous face I'm gonna look like a marketing pushover.)

Not for kids-- it's definitely NSFW.

"Fun Bags" segment: Randall takes Mark to a bar to help him get over Callie, but winds up helping himself instead. Link.

And you won't believe the parody of magician Criss Angel. Link.

Po' Poe--His To' No Mo'!

Okay, if "to'" is read as short for "toast," then you CAN make sense of the subject line! (It certainly has nothing to do with his toe!)

Today is Poe's birthday. And an unknown watercolor portrait (by one A.C. Smith) of a younger, less melancholy Poe has just surfaced (see right). It should be a happy day for his unhappy spirit. But I suspect it's not because of the news about his annual toast.

Someone, dressed in dark clothes with their face hidden, has visited Poe's grave between midnight and dawn each year on Poe's birthday, to leave roses and cognac as a toast to the great writer's memory.


This did not happen today, according to the Associated Press. Perhaps Edgar Allan himself communicated in some way to the toaster* to tell him/her that the tribute was no longer needed. Maybe Poe is at last at rest...



But Happy Birthday, E. A., anyway! Wherever you are!









*And why not? I talk to my toaster! However, I'm no longer on speaking terms with my mixer, ever since it grabbed my tongue and yanked it. Couldn't speak to order a drink for more than a week!


Images copyright Associated Press.

Haiti, Horror, a Dittohead, and Boris Karloff

"The horror! The horror!" Those are the final words spoken by the cruel, powerful character "Mr. Kurtz" in Joseph Conrad's book, Heart of Darkness. I've been thinking of this line lately, having recently watched a dvd of movie bogeyman Boris Karloff playing Kurtz in a 1950s TV adaptation of the novel. (And because I've been working on a review of that performance for a coming post.)

But today I'm reminded of the line because of the words coming out of the mouth of a contemporary Kurtz of the airwaves. A man who also has a horrible influence, and like Kurtz, he revels in his lack of compassion, and wants to corrupt others to be like himself.

Today I am so confounded and distressed by this man that I can't post something that's written solely for laughs. Ironically, though, I am referring to a guy who works as an entertainer, a clown. Nowadays, of course, clowns are seen as more frightening than foolish, but this clown is both:

Image source HERE.

Yeah, him.

I may describe this bozo as a clown, but he isn't a good one. A good clown should be silly. This man is sickeningly absurd.

Let me reassure my regular readers--I dislike having political topics here at TDSH. I prefer to focus on anything else. I'd far rather talk about and share the uncanny, the strange, and the kooky here. And the scary.

But--but but BUT--the following statements (on aid to the Haitian earthquake victims) have gone so far below the bar of common civility--a bar none too high already-- that I'm actually afraid of what awaits our country in the future:

"...President Obama speaking about Haiti this morning in Washington at the White House. He held a press conference. Now, I want you to remember, it took him three days to respond to the Christmas Day Fruit of Kaboom Bomber, three days. And when he came out after those three days, he was clearly irritated that he had to do it. He didn't want to do it. He comes out here in less than 24 hours to speak about Haiti.

"Oh, this is what he lives for. He lives for serving those in misery."

"So the country that he runs around the world apologizing for, the country that he has chip on his shoulder about, he now turns to as its president and asks people who have lost their jobs because of his policies to donate to WhiteHouse.gov to the people of Haiti, and we will do it."

"This will play right into Obama's hands. He's humanitarian, compassionate. They'll use this to burnish their, shall we say, 'credibility' with the black community -- in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country. It's made-to-order for them. That's why he couldn't wait to get out there, could not wait to get out there."

"If I want to donate money to the Red Cross, why do I need to go to the WhiteHouse.gov page...your name is going to end up on a mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes.

"Besides, we've already donated to Haiti. It's called the US income tax."

Have we become so divided politically, so afraid of trusting others, that no amount of cynicism, or callousness in the face of suffering, is too shameful to share in public? Is the spirit of commonality that we felt in the wake of our own suffering on 9/11/2001 so forgotten that it can't share it when disaster strikes outside our borders? Is that where we are headed?

To attack the President in his capacity as a politician is perfectly fair; it can even be a civic good. But to attack our chosen leader for leading our country's humanitarian response to a disaster is monstrous. (That's an adjective normally used in a positive way at TDSH.)

Boris Karloff, the man I grew up thinking of as the "King of Horror," hated the use of the word "horror" to describe frightening movies and books of the day. In his introduction to his 1943 anthology Tales of Terror, "Horror carries with it a connotation of revulsion which has nothing to do with clean terror." He was right. The political comments I quoted above actually horrify me, more than they frighten me. But because they reflect more than the feelings of a few fringe radio ranters, I'm scared as well as disgusted!

Some today denounce depictions of realistic suffering in so-called "torture porn" films like the Saw and Hostel movies as desensitizing, and for glorifying cruelty. There may be something to that. But no one anywhere watched those films and thought what they were seeing was real, or that they presented examples to copy.Like all movies, we know they're all pretend, all put-on. But rather than "realistic," the views expressed by the broadcasting boor pictured above are, unhappily, too, too real.

Well, if you've made it this far through this post, you deserve a cheap laugh. So here's photos of a boob and a poo:





















Above to the left, we see a boob...and Lindsay Lohan standing next to that boob. The second picture, on the right, shows the only TV character with less dignity than that boob. (But not much less!)

You'll notice I've never said the name of the celebrity commentator I'm criticizing anywhere in this post. That is because names are said to have power and influence, and this scary character (no resemblance to a real person, living or dead) doesn't deserve to have any, any longer.

Phun with Photoshop and Putin

I actually have a much cruder program than Photoshop, and I can't do much with it. But when I saw this photo of Russian leader Vladimir Putin on a news site...

...it struck me as a very oddly composed photograph. Putin's head appears to be resting in a surgical tray, and he seems to be missing his lower jaw! It's as if his head were part of some Frankensteinian experiment! Yikes!

So naturally I used my crude paint program to make Putin even MORE like part of some horrible surgical experiment in a Hammer film!

Yeah, I know. I'm weird.

I hope the KGB (or whatever replaced it after the collapse of the Soviet Union) has a macabre sense of whimsy if they ever visit this blog...

Toothpickwick Papers

Did you see this strange news item from the Associated Press?

"NEW YORK – An ivory and gold toothpick once owned by Charles Dickens has sold at a New York City auction for $9,150....

"The toothpick is engraved with the author's initials and has a retracting mechanism.

"An authentication letter from sister-in-law Georgina Hogarth says the British writer of A Christmas Carol and Oliver Twist used the toothpick 'when travelling and on his last visit to America.'"

It fetched far more than auction house Bonham's pre-sale estimate of $3000 to $5000. Guess you'd say it bested their great expectation!

Frankly, buying his toothpick wouldn't interest me. But buying his teeth would!*

*Especially if they were still in his skull.

OMG DEPT.: Toys for Ta-tas

Seen on the marquee of a strip club in California:

News item and photo source found here.

Photo: Andy Wright. Image source: Huffington Post

Good news!

The excellent horror blog Blogue Macabre is back after having been on hiatus for some months!

Link

Goodbye, Michael

The death of the "King of Pop" has had a strong impact on many people; news coverage of memorials to Jackson have been ubiquitous. After avoiding mentioning it here during the all the hoopla, I finally am ready to post on the subject.

I have mixed feelings about the man himself and the amazing amount of grief expressed at his death. He changed pop music. And was an important figure in pop culture for decades. For years now, however, it was for the wrong reason; it was for his ability to generate news for the tabloids.

But, like millions of others, I still have warm memories of seeing the video for the song "Thriller" for the first time. The song replaced "Monster Mash" for the post-Boomer generations as THE anthem of Halloween, my favorite holiday.

I taught Arts and Crafts at an inner-city Boys Club (pre-head-severing, of course) at the time of the album's amazing success, and I remember how in love the kids were with it and videos spawned from it. Kids at the club liked showing me (and everyone else) the dance moves they learned from the videos.




As a child in the monster craze of the 1960s, I was glad to know that many post-Boomer kids were introduced to the talents of director John Landis, makeup artist Rick Baker, and actor Vincent Price for the first time through the "Thriller" video.

Much of Michael Jackson's life was tragic and unpleasant, both for himself and the public. Sadly, he reached a point in his obsession with plastic surgery that he looked less real than wax versions of himself.


A replica of Michael Jackson at Madame Tussaud's:

It's undeniable that Jackson's music was more meaningful to many people than the sordid news that swirled about him, and that the grief fans around the world have expressed was real, and deep.


A very moving tribute to Jackson's impact can be found at Cameron McCasland's blog The Red Headed Revolution. Another post I recommend on the subject can be found at Daydreaming in Darkness. My favorite line: "It was the fact that he was so abnormal, so outside of the norm, that he became unique, even if he looked like some kind of musical Bizarro Superman. And how refreshing that was in a media landscape progressively possessed by the vacuous reality-show sameness of everybody in it."

Still, comedy and satire can tell the truth about a subject in ways straight reporting and personal testimony can't, and has its place even in times of mourning. The Onion has certainly told a form of truth about Jackson in this faux news obit.

More pointedly, Jackson's deterioration was satirized in a caricature mask (that you can buy here):


I won't be buying it. But if YOU do, be careful who you wear it around. You might get hurt.

The grief of his fans has restored some measure of dignity to the subject of the talented-but-strange "King of Pop," although the news of his passing sparked some weirdness, such as the headline "CELEBS TWEET FINAL RESPECTS TO MICHAEL JACKSON", and his public memorial, attended by thousands, had some elements of the bizarre, according to this report at Salon.com:

Inside the biggest, weirdest funeral ever

An unconventional, passionately angry reaction to Jackson's memorials can be read at this novelist's blog.

I remember the death of Elvis Presley. I think the death of "the King of Pop", has caused an even bigger reaction than the death of "the King", although it will be many years before we know whose life had a bigger impact on music history.

Rest in peace in the true Neverland, Michael.

Meet Grandma!

Meet grandma Isobel Varley, who at 72, is the oldest tattooed lady on the planet, according to the Guinness Book Of World Records. These Reuters News Service photos were taken at the "Il Expotatoo" event held last month in Gijon, Spain.




I think I would have thought her to be pretty cool as a kid-- until it came time to give granny a kiss! It's that tattooed scalp--as a tot I think it woulda scared me!

But Grandpa would have said not to worry:

Grandpa was mellow...

Susan Boyle Caught Lying?

Singing sensation Susan Boyle, the surprise hit of YouTube, has impressed millions with her angelic voice. She says she's never been kissed! Well, that turn's out to be not quite true. Below is a photo of one man who kissed her, one John P. Fulcrum of Bath-On-The Beach, England, dug up by our tireless staff here at TDSH. (The photo was dug up, not Mr. Fulcrum.)

Writes Mr. Fulcrum, "I smooched her smack on the gob on a date twenty years ago. She'd taught me it's what's on the inside that counts. I know I'm handsome, but no one had made me feel wanted for my mind, until she came along, lord luv 'er!"

Thanks for setting the record straight, Mr. Fulcrum! Your complementary Drunken Severed Head martini glass is on its way!