The post I didn't think I'd write!

As I write this, it's a week after the announcement of the winners of the Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards. I think it best to not go much past a week in talking about it--so this is my last "I won" post. And I think I'll spend it telling you what I REALLY have been thinking about the whole thing the whole time!

Which is what I thought I wouldn't do. But I didn't think I'd really win, so...

(This is gonna be long, so I'm gonna pepper this post with pics that sum up to me what TDSH is all about. Click on 'em to see 'em bigger-- or just put your face up to the screen.)

The first thing that comes to mind is that it's been a helluva week. Over a hundred people have congratulated me, either in person or online. Mostly online, at forums, Facebook, here, etc.

Hits here went way up; Facebook friend requests up, too. I gained a few more "followers." (Thinking about buying a fortified encampment where we can all live together in harmony-- with me in charge, of course.)

For most of the long voting period, I thought I didn't deserve it. No major research done (except for my article on fan artist Linda Miller, which I am proud of), only a handful of film reviews, very few rants written in anger or disgust. How could TDSH be any good?

Didn't keep me for lobbying for it, though-- but with self-deprecating jokes, and I was always honest about wanting it. ("It'll end years of therapy!") Let self-deluded peeps take an "above-it-all-I-only-blog-for-the-personal-satisfaction-of-writing" stance, sez I. Hey, last year I somehow had come in second to author/critic Tim "My cabinet's full of awards" Lucas, which was like losing to Albert Einstein on Jeopardy! Aw, it was a frickin' fluke, I said to myself then... but second? SECOND?! CAN MIRACLES REALLY HAPPEN?

I was hell-bent to find out. If TDSH was worth something, then coming in 2nd again-- for a second year in a row-- wouldn't happen just because I had friends who'd vote for me. Or just because it was a new category with few nominees, like the previous year. No, no, no-- and it wasn't like I could hold a gun on voters to make'em send in a private e-mail ballot. (Well, not enough of 'em to make a difference, anyway.)

One friend of mine told another they hadn't been around me because I was "too busy lobbying...Poor Max." Yeah-- I was exhausted! (I decided not to cross the line of sending out mass "Vote for my blog" e-mails to strangers or near strangers. I was getting plenty of those for other categories myself.) Most of the Rondos are chosen in a "People's Choice Award"-style poll, I felt it was okay to "campaign." As the historical figure John L. Lewis once said, "He who tooteth not his own horn, the same shall not be tooted."

Of course, all the joking and noodging haha-like with a link to my blog wasn't reinforcing my self-image any. But I began to get e-mails from folks saying why they liked my blog. They all cited some things in common: I entertained them and I didn't take myself too seriously. The lack of a focus on doing one main thing meant they had a reason to check back. (I was dead sure--I'd say "cocksure" but I'm a severed head-- that that meandering aspect of my blog alienated everybody but almost-ADHD-like me.) As Carl Manes of I Like Horror Movies told me,"I love that The Drunken Severed Head offers a much broader look at Horror in all wakes of life, ranging from comics to classic Horror to current community events on and off the blog scene!" (And I love anyone who'll pun on "walks" with a fun-ereal "wakes.") Others said I wasn't as impersonal as other blogs, that TDSH had a "voice." (Most of the other nominees do too, but not every one.)

People I never expected to vote for me, or express congrats later, did. Five bloggers I like went out on a limb (thankfully, NOT severed) and endorsed me. I mean these are all people who've done and know more than me! (I hafta wonder if the world's gone mad-- but if so, I hope it never gets totally sane!) My blog's motto is "Weirdness is where you find it," and those words were never truer.



I think Halloween blogs are under-appreciated by too many horror bloggers (as if by posting much on our favorite holiday is be too childish, sentimental, or irrelevant.) But I'm proud to contribute to the "Blog-A-Day" Halloween blogathon every year, though it wears me out. (I'm old-fashioned enough to have an inner voice that suggested "tuckers me out," but that makes me sound like Grandpa Simpson; I'd prefer Grandpa Munster. Pull my finger, Herman.) I love Halloween blogs and I'm guessing a fair number of my votes may have come from "Halloween-year-round" bloggers and blog readers. Take note, future Rondo nominees!

The voting occurred over part of Feb., all of March, and the first 3 days April. What a slog! Probably helped the blog category though, as it allowed for plenty of time for the nominated blogs to be looked over. Which is why I was certain someone else would win, most likely my friend Pierre Fournier of the surpassing, scholarly yet fun Frankensteinia. (I was only desperately hoping to come in second, so that last year wouldn't appear to be the total accident I thought it was.) Even though he'd been endorsed by highly respected writer's blogs like Tim Lucas' Video Watchblog, Pierre wasn't so sure. (I thought the amazing endorsements Pierre got would blow him waaay past anyone else.) In fact, we had a bet: if Pierre placed at all (meaning first through fourth or fifth-- "honorable mention" territory) I'd have to do a guest post at his impressive blog. He was convinced he wouldn't even place-- so now he has to do a guest post here. Well, there goes HIS reputation! In spite of that, (wink wink) his Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Award is coming, I know. Pierre and many others deserve one.

Although I won "Best Blog," there is NO single "best." Certainly not TDSH. There ARE, however, nominees of different styles and purposes that are among the best.

Having interviews with a variety of people (and not just film folk) probably helped me. I like focusing on other people-- everyone's got a story. I've seen complaints at other blogs about interviews with the non-famous, but properly introduced and illustrated, people DO read them. My hits have shown that.

After my Rondo Award win was announced among the others, I was expecting a LOT of "hits"-- critical hits made by bricks and flaming arrows lobbed by observers of the horror blog scene. I am floating in the air that such a singeing shower never happened. Whew!

If you voted for my blog, or just know me and we're friends, thank you very much for your support. You're someone who has made this honor possible. I'm sorry to be behind in saying so.


(Dammit, I'm always draggin'. Well, that's Life.)

RONDOS TAINTED BY SCANDAL IN BLOG CATEGORY

APe -- 4 hours ago

By JOE KING, APe Entertainment Writer

WASHINGTON, D. C -- The Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards found itself mired in controversy after making its announcement of the winner in the "Best Blog" category. The blog The Drunken Severed Head was pronounced the honoree for 2009, and immediately a firestorm of criticism and disbelief surrounded the choice.

Former U. S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stated in a press release, "I have been asked by the site Bloody-Disgusting to look into any irregularities. Eh, why not? I got nothing much else to do these days."

Commentators expressed dismay and bewilderment at the polling result, and called into question both the validity of the vote tallying, and the intelligence of the voters.

"I demand a recount," said one of the losing blog nominees, when contacted by phone. (He refused to allow his name to be used, but he spoke with a decided French accent.) "This is merde! I'd move to Canada, but I already live there!"

Fox News political pundit Glenn Beck simply stated, "This makes me cry for my country."

When asked for a reaction, blogger Max Cheney tipped over into a pan of nutrient-laden alcohol and made bubbles with his lips.

In related news: Just after the announcement of the Rondo Awards blog category winner, people all over North America called news outlets, universities, zoos and police to report seeing this strange sight, often referred to in everyday speech:




Image altered from original byjJack Midknight and found HERE.

The big wick end!

I mean, this is the big week-end! My wife, Jane the Voodoo Queen (who hoodoo-ed me one Halloween) comes back home from family business after NINE 1/2 WEEKS.

Yeah, she'll look like Kim Basinger to me-- and I'll look like Mickey Rourke to her...from The Wrestler!


I'll be glad to see her, but her familiar won't:

She's been queen of the house while Jane's away.

And-- this is the weekend that the Rondo Award voting results get announced! (On Sunday.) IF YOU HAVEN'T VOTED, YOU HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW, SATURDAY APRIL 3RD AT MIDNIGHT. And if ya haven't, FOR THE LOVA GAWD WILL YA?

TDSH is nominated for "Best Blog," and I'm also nominated for "Best Magazine Article" (for "The Art of Linda Miller," SCARLET, issue #3.)

You can see an online version of my article-- which I'm very proud of-- HERE.

If you'd like to vote for me in either the blog or article category, here's how to vote.

You may see the ballot and instructions HERE

OR HERE.

You do NOT have to vote the entire ballot. Just the categories you are familiar with or care to vote for. Write up an e-mail. Make sure you include your name for your vote to count.

If you know anyone who might enjoy my blog or article, let 'em know about the vote! ("Please," he said, with sad doe eyes looking intently at the reader.)

A Rondo talk with CINEBEAT's Kimberly Lindbergs

Above: Kimberly Lindbergs. Below: KL with the Pigumon monster from Ultraman.

Life is so unfair, and that's a fact. Just look at the beautiful woman in the two pics above. That's Kimberly Lindbergs, the writer behind the amazing Cinebeats.

Sheesh! You probably read her blog frequently, and say to yourself, "Self, why does one person get so much in the way of looks, intelligence and writing skill when *I* HAFTA LOOK LIKE A GNOME AND SWEAT TO PRODUCE A MIDDLIN' BLOG LIKE THE DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD??!!"

Or is just me?

(I must say, I do look like a cuddly gnome, at least.)

Anyway, my first set of "Rondo rondo" questions were sent to her, but I didn't hear back. So I sent the second set. No reply came back-- at least not by the deadline I mentioned. Until today! Seems my messages got sent to her e-mail's trash folder. Talk about an advance in artificial intelligence!

As before with the responses from all the other Rondo Award "Best Blog" nominees, TDSH is lucky to have her here. So without any further delay for fol-de-rol from me, here's Kimberly Lindbergs' answers to BOTH sets of "Rondo rondo" questions!

_______________________

Why do you think you were nominated?

I'm not exactly sure to be honest but I suspect it's because I love horror films and I occasionally write about old movies that a lot of other bloggers don't cover.

Let's say you win. What will be the first thing you do?

Be very, very surprised and then quickly thank the voters.

Let's say you DON'T win. What will be the first thing you consume to console yourself?

Drink red, red wine from my skull cup.

Other than B-horror movie actor Rondo Hatton, who do you think the award looks like?

A shrunken head.

What person you've never met has been the biggest influence in your interest in horror?

Without a doubt the deceased horror host of Creature Features, Mr. Bob Wilkins.

What should I wear to the award ceremony?

Nothing. Let it all hang out and show the world the real you!

Which would rather have-- a place in the Guinness Book or a Rondo? If the former, what category would you appear in?

When I was about 9 years old a friend and I tried to win our place in the Guinness book by staying up in a tree for as long as possible. We only lasted about 12 hours until our mothers forced us to come down but for years afterward I was disappointed in myself for failing to make into the Guinness book. At this stage in my life I'd much prefer to win a Rondo award for my writing efforts. Having a bust of Rondo Hatton sitting on my mantel would be an honor.

You got nominated. What do you think your blog avoids doing that annoys people at other blogs?

I have no idea. I tend to write too much and when I do write it can occasionally involve typos, bad grammar and random punctuation mistakes. All these things undoubtedly annoy a lot of people! I can only assume that people come to Cinebeats for the coverage of films, actors and directors that are rarely mentioned anywhere else. I often champion the unknown, the unloved and the forgotten.

What is your super power? How can you use it to improve your chances of winning?

My superpower could be my ability to find something worthwhile to say about films that a lot of people find utterly unwatchable. This is probably what got me nominated in the first place.

Is appearing at TDSH the the lowest point in your virtual life? If not, what was?

Absolutely not. Spending an entire day watching Sims 2 music videos on Youtube was probably the lowest point of my virtual life. And that was mainly due to the fact that a lot of Sims 2 players seem to enjoy listening to Hannah Montana and Lady Gaga.

[There goes all your last minute votes from fans of Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga!]

Name one change that you think would improve the Rondo Awards.

If you asked me last year I might have said that I'd like to see more women nominated for various awards but this year I noticed that there seemed to be a lot more women nominated for Rondos. Go ladies!

Name any one food item-- and how many of that item do you think you could stuff in your mouth?

Pocky. I can probably stuff an entire package of Pocky into my mouth at once. Maybe even two!

Would you do that on-camera if it would get you a Rondo?

No. Nobody wants to see that. Least of all me!

What is something you'd say in your acceptance speech?

In honor of Mr. Rondo Hatton himself: "YOU GIVE ME THE CREEPS!"

How might you improve your blog in the coming year?

How about more horror film coverage? I spend 75% of my time watching horror movies but I only devote about 50% of my blog to writing about them.

Really, truly, totally optional question. If not you, who in your category do you hope will win?

I'm going to have to say Curt of Groovy Age of Horror or Stacie at Final Girl. Curt's blog helped inspire my own blog and he's been extremely supportive of me ever since I started. As for Final Girl, Stacie was the first female horror movie blogger I ever came across online and one of the the funniest. Both of them have inspired a lot of other people and they deserve some kind of special recognition for their blogging efforts. I would have said Frankenstenia but Pierre's already got my vote in two other categories so I figured I'd share the Rondo love a bit.

Thanks again Max and best of luck to you with your own Rondo nomination!

Same back at ya! And thanks! I'll need it with so many nominees as excellent as yourself in the running!

_____________________

And check out my Q & A with other beautiful, smart, talented women like Stacie Ponder of Final Girl, Rhonny Reaper of Dollar Bin Horror, Kerry Kate of Obscure Hollow, and Tenebrous Kate of Love Train For the Tenebrous Empire, who join six smart male bloggers at this post:

A Rondo rondo II: Night of the Nominees


Below is a link to a post with six smart and talented men, so the pics of the nominees may or may not be one of the attractions of the post, depending on what you like. But, as with link above, the answers are interesting and fun:

A Rondo rondo: Nattering With Nominees

First in these interviews, I was and am VERY HONORED to start these Rondo-related interviews with the popular, insightful and talented Joe Moe:

Talking with Dread Central's JOE MOE

Read 'em all, if you haven't already.

My e-cup runneth over!

And you're thinking "I thought you wore a D-cup! Ha ha!"

No, you perv, I refer to my endorsement cup! I've just been told that I've been endorsed for both "Best Blog" and "Best Article" Rondo awards at The Skull and Pumpkin blog! Right on tthe heels of this endorsement!

Mike C. is the saloon keeper behind The Skull and Pumpkin, and the genius behind an animatronic Halloween version of Forrest J Ackerman (the beloved former Famous Monsters magazine editor, for you young kids not in the know.) Right now this fine, frightful figure is being readied for display at Monsterpalooza, the giant genre con that's happening April 9-11, 2010.

Video of the talking Forry skull can be seen here; a thread at the Universal Monster Army site on this inspired, affectionate Ackerman animatronic can be read here.

Thanks, Mike, for the endorsements and for keeping Forry with us in a way he would have loved!

Endorphins and endorsement

Yesterday a talented artist and former Rondo nominee I respect told me that he enjoyed my blog more than some of the other, more serious and reputable blogs nominated this year, and visits mine more often. Wow. Because, he said, when he visits TDSH he "is always entertained." My posts may be "serious or goofy," as he put it, but visiting my blog "is always fun."

In the words of the Invisible Man, that "seemed to light up my brain!" It really made my day.

And then, on top of that, the fine, thoughtful and fun Halloween blog The Roads of Autumn Dusk endorsed TDSH for "Best Blog" in the Rondo Awards! That made my week! Thank you, tROAD!

Here, click on this picture below to find yourself traveling the shadowed, fall Roads into the October country...

I'm late, I'm late!

Almost a month ago, iZombie (Jeremy) of the iZombielover blog, where zombies and zombie art rule, gave me and some other blogs his first "Zombie Rabbit Award."

Thanks, iZombie! I may not get the "Best Blog" Rondo Award I'm nominated for, but by gawd, I got a Zombie Rabbit! (Is it Peter Rottentail?) I'm delighted! Not many folk can say they have one!

I fear getting infected if I get too close to the monitor, or possibly attacked by zombie fleas, but I'm delighted all the same.

Having a Zombie Rabbit Award is a singular thing, and makes me very hoppy. (Oh, c'mon, you knew I was going to do that. I'm like your dad with my jokes.)

Below are a coupla very cool photos served to us by iZombie. Stop by his blog and check out the munching undead art and photos on view.

I think on the occasion of the coming holiday I'll introduce the Zombie Rabbit to the grisly-but-cute Easter Blowfish.

Definition of Horror Death Match, Part 1

VS.

I'm late in posting this, but this is the awards season still. I saw some interesting differences in how horror is viewed by two different sets of judges who give out awards to horror films, and I want to look at how they compare. First:

On March 6th, the Vault of Horror blog announced the winners in its second annual Cyber-Horror Awards.

On March 7th, the Cinefantastique website announced the winners in their second annual Wonder Awards.

Both awards were determined by people writing about genre films. In the case of the Wonders, ("Wonsies"?) the writers for Cinefantastique website. For Cyber-Horror, ("Cybies"?) writers for horror blogs and other online sources.

It was interesting to compare the two results. The Wonder Awards are given for film achievements not just in horror, but the fantasy and science fiction genres as well, unlike the Cyber-Horror Awards. So, just limiting the look-see to horror nominees in the  Wonder contest, let's check out where the nominations and awards overlapped-- and where they didn't.

For Best Film, the Wonsie nominations included Coraline and District 9. . I'd include both in the horror genre, though some say the former is fantasy (if dark), and the latter sci-fi. Of course, they're all of those things. The Cybie noms included neither of those films; the choices were Drag Me to Hell, Trick 'r' Treat, Zombieland, Grace and Thirst. Avatar won for Best film in the SOW awards, Trick'r'Treat pulled a surprise win in the C-H awards. Looks like the CF team doesn't think much was achieved in straight horror in 2009; VOH's group seems to like its horror strictly straight up.

There were no overlaps again for Best Director, but Neill Blomkamp was nominated for District 9 in the Wonsies.

For Best Actress:

Horror nominees:

Katie Featherston in PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Isabelle Fuhrman in ORPHAN

Charlotte Gainsbourg in ANTICHRIST

Saoirse Ronan in THE LOVELY BONES

For Cyber-Horror:

Alison Lohman, Drag Me to Hell

Isabelle Fuhrman, Orphan

Jordan Ladd, Grace

Emily Browning, The Uninvited

Megan Fox, Jennifer’s Body

Again, the two awards don't seem to agree on what the best horror films were, or maybe even what a horror film is.  

I understand that more judges are involved in the Cyber-Horror Awards than in the Wonder Awards, so it was interesting to me that the definition of horror seemed stricter with the former than the latter.

I asked Brian Solomon of Vault of Horror about it, and he said this:  

"The results here are interesting. I enjoy the Wonders very much because they encompass all of genre cinema. But the CHAs focus strictly on horror--so you're bound to get a more thorough [emphasis mine] representation of that genre in particular. It's the nature of the beast! The Wonders draw their nominations from a comprehensive listing of all genre films, so those doing the nominating can choose anything they want. [That seems to me to buttress-- hehe, I said "butt"-- my point, Brian.]

"The CHAs also have a group of nominators, but we only really chose from a list of the year's horror releases, so naturally our picks were more strictly [again, emphasis mine] within the realm of horror than the Wonders. There were still some exceptions though, like Coraline."

Are contemporary horror film devotees unable to appreciate films that merely creepy and unnerving, or have sci-fi elements? Or just those who write about contemporary horror?

Does a horror film have to be "in your face" with gore to be good? Can a horror film have a "sense of wonder"?

More about the two awards and what makes for a good horror film in Part 2.

A Rondo rondo! Nattering with nominees

The voting process for the 2009 Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards will soon end-- the last day to send in a ballot is April 3rd. I'm hopelessly outclassed by many of my fellow nominees for "Best Blog." So I was curious to talk to others in that category-- as well as other honorees in other categories-- and sent out some questions to various folks who were recognized with nominations. Some actually sent back answers! (Bit of a sausage party, though; the female nominees I sent questions to have yet to respond. Guess women may really be smarter than men!)

So here is some Q & A (sorry if you were expecting T & A) with some smart, talented, active lovers of classic horror. The participants, in no particular order, are:

August Ragone

Nominated for: BEST BLOG (The Good, The Bad, The Godzilla).

Terry Ingram

Nominated for: BEST WEBSITE (Universal Monster Army) and BEST FAN EVENT (Traveling Toy Exhibit).

Bryan White

Nominated for: BEST BLOG (Cinema Suicide).

Larry Underwood (Dr. Gangrene)

Nominated for: BEST WEBSITE (Chiller Cinema), BEST FAN EVENT (Dr. Gangrene's Halloween Hootenanny) and FAVORITE HORROR HOST.

Brian Solomon

Nominated for: BEST BLOG (Vault of Horror).

John Cozzoli

Nominated for: BEST BLOG (Zombos' Closet of Horror).

_____________________________

The weird queries:

1.) Why do you think you were nominated?

AR: Somebody must like me. Somewhere.

TI: Because I pay David Colton good money. That's why.

Because there's 2,603 of the world's finest who make up the UMA. I wasn't nominated. WE were nominated.

BW: Back in 2008 I kept emailing Dave Colton about it, putting a bug in his ear about being nominated and it just so happened to be the year that he added the Best Blog category. So basically, I harassed him until he put me in the running. This year, however, I have no idea. It's tough to gauge how you're doing when everyone else with a blog looks like a pro to you. So it's encouraging to know that I'm still thought of as Rondo material and I'm grateful for it.

LU: I've been doing this gig as a horror host for more than a decade now - I guess folks just like good old fashioned cheesy-horror fun.

BS: To tell you the truth, it's just as much of a pleasant surprise as it was last year! I always think that having a blog that's not too specific, and somewhat generic in terms of what it covers (i.e. mine) can go either way. Either people will find it engaging and welcoming to all, or just bland and wishy-washy. I'm guessing the Rondo people went with the former, and for that, I'm flattered.

JC: I know David Colton personally so I was a shoe-in. Wait a minute, I didn't know him until I got nominated...hmmm. Let me see...oh, right, it was because a few years back, some short-necked dude named the Drunken Severed Head mentioned to David he should cast his net wider to include horror blogs that start with the letter Z. David listened, and so there I am.

2.) Let's say you win. What will be the first thing you do?

LU: Have a beer in celebration.

AR: Open up an ice-cold Sapporo tall-boy.

TI: Go to Disney World!

BW: If I win, I will issue a press release to all media outlets. I will invite all bloggers everywhere to "suck it" and the accompanying photo will be a close up of my middle finger. Okay. I probably wouldn't do that because in spite of a smarmy exterior, I'm actually pretty humble. I'll probably just tell my wife and then call my mom.

BS: Last year the wife and kids surprised me with a cake, just for getting Honorable Mention. Sweet, aren't they? Here's hoping there's an even bigger cake in my future.

JC: Eat two McDonald's Filet-O-Fish sandwiches with lots of french fries. Maybe three, even. Hell, why not?

3. Let's say you DON'T win. What will be the first thing you consume to console yourself?

LU: Have a beer in consolation.

TI: Same thing I'd do to reward myself - drink.

BW: Vodka.

AR: I'll bust open a half-gallon of Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream, while writing a letter of congratulations to Tim Lucas.

BS: I guess my answer would be cake, again. Although this would probably be of the Entemann's variety, eaten straight out of the box and washed down with tears.

JC: Eat two McDonald's Filet-O-Fish sandwiches with lots of french fries. Maybe three, even. Hell, why not? Either way, I can't lose. I'll probably drown my sorrows with a McCafe frozen something.

4.) Other than B-horror movie actor Rondo Hatton, who do you think the award looks like?

AR: Jimmy Durante.

TI: Just like last year's award.

BW: Exhibit A in a bludgeoning murder trial.

LU: Maybe Richard Kiel, if he were bald.

BS: It kind of looks like a Dick Tracy villain, doesn't it? But I guess that's what Rondo Hatton was in a way--a living, breathing Dick Tracy villain.

JC: Eric Powell's The Goon, for sure.

5.) What's meant by CLASSIC in the "Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards"?

AR: "Old School" aka "The Good Stuff".

TI: It means the voters are all old.

BW: I think it was originally an award given to people who celebrated horror in the classic sense. By that I mean the golden sort of Universal Age of horror. From the dawn of horror on film to the early 60's. These days, though, what was considered contempo around the inception of the award is quickly falling into the classic category. Sort of how songs I remember fondly from my childhood are now getting routine rotation on "classic rock" stations. Abbot and Costello never met up with Jason Voorhees in a zany horror comedy but the franchises that a lot of modern horror fans hold on high are now becoming "classics".

LU: Originally I think it meant just that, appreciation of classic horror meaning films of the classic (30s-70s) era. But over the years it has expanded to include modern era films as well.

BS: I find that they've been embracing more than just the strict definition of "classic horror", which I think is a good thing. If you notice, the Classic Horror Film Board actually has message boards dedicated to all eras of the genre; if anything, they just lean a little heavier on the so-called classic stuff. These days, I think their definition of "classic" is less related to time period, and more just to a general standard of quality.

JC: The "classic" stands for all those wonderfully fun movies we love to scream at, or hoot at, or snicker at, or even laugh out loud at. It defines a sensibility more than a decade. It stands for a sense of nostalgia and the once forbidden made okay. It stands for all the colors in black and white and red, and hints at Halloween candy and Autumn winds and the fear found only in the darkest nights and in the brightest days. Its ballyhoo and cult and simply unforgettable no matter how hard you try.

6. What person you've never met has been the biggest influence in your interest in horror?

AR:Eiji Tsuburaya, the visual effects director who gave Godzilla life, who passed away 40 years ago. Greg Shoemaker (editor of the legendary "Japanese Fantasy Film Journal"); while we've corresponded for more than 30 years (on and off), we've never met in person. Anyone ever associated with the heyday of Hammer (excluding Sir Christopher Lee and Veronica Carlson, of whom I've had the pleasure of meeting), and lastly, the immortal Vincent Price.

TI: Bela Lugosi. Catch his tweets from beyond at - http://twitter.com/IamBelaLugosi

BW: Bill Gaines of EC Comics fame. Apart from his association with Tales From The Crypt and Vault of Horror, etc. he had a set of ethics that greatly informed my own. He and his creative staff were a bunch of renegades that fearlessly blazed trails in the face of censorship. Whether they knew it or not, being antagonistic toward "the man" had a much bigger effect on their readers and fans and they did much more by being a pain in the ass to the Comics Code Authority than just bringing gory comics to kids. In a lot of ways, Gaines was a pretty level headed entrant into the counter culture and I'm told he was a pretty cool guy, too. His influence also made its way to filmmakers down the line that I very much appreciate today. So there you go.

LU: Alice Cooper--when I was a kid one of my first influences on my pathway to horror was Alice Cooper. It makes total sense now, as he's pretty much the musical equivalent of a horror host. When I discovered his music and stage show it was like an epiphany... And now here I am years later both hosting horror movies and fronting a horror band and doing some shock rock antics of my own. Hope to meet good ole Alice one day and let him know what an influence he was.

BS: George Romero. Because if it wasn't for not only the zombie films he made, but also the now-canonical rules of modern zombie lore that he single-handedly created, I might not have become such a morbid, horror-obsessed teenager. Nor would I have blossomed into such a morbid, horror-obsessed adult.

JC: Ray Bradbury. I've not read another writer who could distill black magic into words and horror into sentences the way he does to create images of the commonplace turned deadly or malevolent.

7. What should I wear to the award ceremony?

LU: Well since you are a severed head I think a nice new podium to prop yourself up on. Perhaps a 70s style cravat, that'd be pretty sweet.

AR: It might be a good idea for you to wear pants. If I win, I definitely need to buy some pants.

TI: I'm not your mother. Dress yourself please.

BW: Wear one of those tuxedo t-shirts. I've always wanted one of those.

BS: Well, since you're only a head, I'd say your options are rather limited. But I'd go with either a pork-pie or a homburg, depending on if you're in a Popeye Doyle or Michael Corleone mood.

JC: I don't know about you, but I'm wearing a smile. Otherwise, what you wear is up to you.

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Thank you for all for participating. I'm jealous of the talent you all have. And I'm jealous of you, Terry Ingram, for having more hair than me! (Or any of the other nominees here! At least I'm not alone.)

A few images here come from 3rd party sites I forgot to bookmark. If any image is used without credit, please inform me and I will rectify the problem.

The first TDSH Sham Poo Award

So I was thinking recently about awards, and I thought about the fact that there are inept film abortions that have a certain je ne sais quoi that makes people want to watch them more than once despite the fact that are probably far better films that are more rewarding.

Films like Melody Ranch, an old Gene Autry musical Western with brassy vaudevillian Jimmy Durante and flashy hoofer Ann Miller as Gene's sidekicks. (OMG!) Or certain Bert Gordon or Jess Franco films. Or Waterworld. I thought to myself, "They aren't really cinematic pieces of shit...there's something worthwhile and enduring about them. Hmmm. They're...fake shit. No, they're sham poo. And suddenly I realized sham poo films are ones that ought to come with the instructions, "Watch. Wince. Repeat."

(rimshot)

With that in mind, I thought I'd start handing out the TDSH Sham Poo Awards for such faux film feces. Being too ill to write up the one I had in mind, I asked John Cozzoli of the Zombos' Closet of Horror blog to submit his nom for the award. So take it away, John!

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If you are looking for the perfect second-half of a double bill Halloween show with Plan 9 From Outer Space, look no further. Spookies is a film to be savored for its underdone acting, overbearing dialog, and incoherent story. So rarely do horror films reach the pinnacle of hilarious WTF ineptitude this film achieves so grandly. Originally begun as Twisted Souls, that unfinished film died and gave birth to a spook show hodgepodge of '80s makeup and monster effects that collide head on with badly-edited additional footage from another unfinished film, creating a two-headed storyline that never meets eye to eye.

Everybody winds up at a deserted spooky house surrounded by a cemetery, a dead sorcerer is trying to resuscitate his reluctantly dead bride, and one by one, the blundering bunch of bickering idiots get taken out by one monstrosity after another. Interspersed between each tableau of gory doom, the sorcerer gloats, speaks in a Lugosi-styled accent that's as bad as his makeup, and summons forth more creatures of the night. And each time someone scrambles to get out of a room we cut to his evil assistant, a purple werewolf, holding the door closed so they can't open it. Yes, a purple werewolf.

You'll need a multi-region DVD player to watch this wonder of cinematic disaster; but I swear it's worth it.

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Zombos' Closet of Horror is nominated for a Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Award for "Best Blog."

Below: The poster for Spookies; art by noted genre artist Rich Corben.

Talking with Dread Central's JOE MOE

The dashing Monster Kid bon vivant JOE MOE.

Recently I wrote to Rondo Award winner and Dread Central columnist Joe Moe. Joe, a well- known and well-liked presence at various horror and sci-fi conventions, is also a screenwriter, FX artist and designer of dark-rides for international theme parks.

I sent him questions about his current Rondo Award nomination in the "Best Fan Event" category, for his popular "Tribute to Forrest J. Ackerman" at Grauman's Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. Joe sent me back some fun answers. Amazingly, he said he wanted to interview me at his blog! Not only does an interview with me appear there, but Joe also endorsed TDSH for "Best Blog" in the Rondos! I'm monsteriffically happy!

Here's my Qs and Joe's replies.

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1. Why do you think you were nominated?

Well, I think my event was nominated because it was fandom's farewell to their favorite Uncle. When it comes to promoting classic Horror, there's no greater example or inspiration than the original Pied Piper of fandom, Forry! Also, the tribute itself was a phenomenal alchemy of incredible emotion and uplifting camaraderie the likes of which many (including me, and I've been around) have never experienced before. Truly special.

2. Let's say you win. What will be the first thing you do?

I'm going to Disneyla...uh, I mean, I'm going to the Old Dark Clubhouse!

3. Let's say you DON'T win. What will be the first thing you consume to console yourself?

Depends on who's in attendance...

4. Other than B-horror movie actor Rondo Hatton, who do you think the award looks like?

The love child of a drunken menage' between Jay Leno, Jack Palance and Alice the Goon.

5. What's meant by CLASSIC in the "Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards"?

I think anything that represents the origins and landmarks of our genre OR anything modern that is clearly tethered to or promotes classic genre quality by influence or inspiration.

6. What should I wear to the award ceremony?

Chaps and tails...

Thanks for your time! Peace, Joe.

Peace.

Joe Moe is a third generation Polynesian entertainer (look for his cd MAINLAND), and an authentic renaissance man. Fun facts about Joe: He once sculpted a monster mask for Don Post Studios (“Schizoid”), once operated the front half of Muppet character Snuffleupagus ! Joe lived for many years with the late genre legend Forrest J Ackerman in the Ackermuseum of Sci-Fi, Fantasy & Horror, and was celebrated at last year's Rondo ceremony for his "quiet, constant and unwavering stewardship of Forrest J Ackerman's final decade of life." Joe Moe's day job finds him gleefully occupied in making intriguing movies like RED VELVET, WASTED SPACE and other Indie films. Joe was most recently Creative Consultant on Tim Sullivan's 2001 MANIACS: FIELD OF SCREAMS (due out this year).

Related links: A 2008 DEADPIT interview with Joe Moe.

The official RED VELVET site.

Joe Moe's Facebook page.

Honors, distinctions, and other dangerous currents

The Oscar winners will be announced tonight!

The Cyber-Horror Award winners were announced yesterday!

Laura of Love at Home gave me a Sunshine Award! (I'm still looking to get a moonshine award. "Still"-- "moonshine"-- get it? Oh, har har.)

The debate over blog and internet awards is still going strong at intelligent horror blogs! (Which is a good thing-- it keeps us all honest.)

(Hey, if you haven't already--click on the differently colored text links, will ya please?)

Too much good newsssss

I don't know which has got me more excited: the fact that I have two Rondo nominations or the fact that my snake Plissken has just shed his skin!

Does that mean an early spring?

My "Kreativ Blogger" Honorees

Below are my honorees for the Kreativ Blogger award (translation: virtual pat on the back--or head), which was recently bestowed on me by Cool Ass Cinema. (I blogged a few days ago about that; scroll down a bit to read that post.)

Haunt Style This blog's theme: "Images, ideas, instructions, and information for people who live for Halloween, or just want to add some creepiness to their lives." Hey, who doesn't?

A Patchwork of Flesh A site for artists working in any and all media, living in all points on the globe, and of all ages, to celebrate Mary Shelley's immortal Frankenstein monster.

Skull-A-Day A creative, constantly updated exploration of the skull image in all media. Originally, a skull-a-day posting project by Noah Scalin for an entire year; now reader submissions make up the majority of posts. You'll never see so many variations on one interesting theme anywhere else.

Uranium Cafe Bill Courtney's rad blog of retro madness and great podcasts is an act of courage. It is posted from China, a very repressive place to both surf the 'Net, and upload to it.

Billy Loves Stu Although he can't spell "stew" correctly, and never seems to post any recipes, Pax Romano's blog is creative, queer, and fun for all horror movie fans, whether you like classic or contemporary stuff.

I Love Horror I'm giving the award to Brad McHargue's blog because I like his sense of humor, his enthusiasm, his sometimes grumpy but honest persona, and to give him a kick in the ass to get his delayed "Ash Across America" project on his blog!

Under the rules I accepted this honor, I have to post some things about myself and pass on the award to other blogs. I'm going to do that, but in reverse order. (Hey, I don't wanna steal the top billing from these great blogs I'm recommending to you!)

Seven things about myself:

1. I once threw a dinner party at a funeral home. At dusk, we played hide and seek.

2. At one time I was a professional crime fighter.

3. In my twenties, I auditioned in the nude for a play, as required for the part. This was for an acclaimed comedy, and the auditions took place in a Methodist church.

4. I once had a life-size statue of St. Patrick in my home.

5. I have been tricked into going "snipe hunting."

6. I once caught 105 catfish. (Okay, they were only fingerlings, and I caught 'em all at once, but still it was 105! They were freed into a pond.) Another time I caught a fish using only a milk crate.

7. I once used a mold to make plaster busts of John F. Kennedy as a jello mold for a party.

Let's see my honorees top that! (But only if they want to.)

Cool Ass Kalls Me Kreativ! I Kid You Knot!

One of the very nicest things ever said about my me or my blog was said last month by Brian Chiba at his blog, Cool Ass Cinema. He said of TDSH, "If the wonderful Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine had an adult oriented sense of humor, the result would look something like this blog...It's a very creative site that monster fans who like to laugh should check out."

I don't know Brian, so I was unprepared for the compliment, but I was very touched. As someone whose life was partly shaped by Forry Ackerman and FMOF (props to Jim Warren too, of course), I couldn't have been happier to be compared to famous "Uncle Forry." Thanks, Cool Ass!

But I do know Brian's blog. Cool Ass is "A site dedicated to the propagation of strange and exciting cinema (and television) from all over the world as well as America's own grand tradition of exploitation cinema classics." In other words, it showcases the best of the worst, the weird, and the trashy. In more other words, it's fun! Cool Ass Cinema is dedicated to helping readers remember "those classic (and sometimes classless) films of old, and even discover some new ones," as it says on its banner. A great mission.

So now I have a new badge-o-honor to wear here! Although, having seen variations of the award at other blogs, I'm not sure it's a badge, or--



--a tablecloth, wallpaper sample, or napkin?

Or even possibly a graphic from a futuristic aspirin commercial:

My first reaction to seeing the badge was one of laughter..."KREATIV? So maybe one of the creative aspects celebrated by this meme was spelling? "KREATIV"? (I was guessing it was started by a marketing person at the "SyFy" channel.) So I did a little poking around to figure out how that spelling started.

Oog! Was I wrong! The award apparently started with a German-speaking blogger; "kreativ" is the German equivalent to the English "creative." Ist gut, ja! (That'll teach me to shoot my mouth off! But I can't help it--I'm a son-of-a-gun!*)

Which graphic do YOU like best? Or maybe it should be this one I knocked out--

Who knew Bismarck looked so much like Bram Stoker's description of Count Dracula?**

Next post, I'll share my list of honorees I've picked. (Have a blog? I can be bribed with large denominations sent in plain brown wrappers. )



*My daddy was Lewis Grizzard. Or not.

**Hey, before I get hate mail, many of my ancestors were German!

Meet Artist BECCA WHITTAKER

Check out this cool portrait of one inebriated lopped-off noggin by cartoonist Becca Whitaker:

This scene inspired by my blog, Shakespeare and old monster movies is her work, too (click to enlarge it):

Franky has apparently come to bury me, not praise me. (Yeah, I know--wrong play.)

A monster and fairy tale mashup:

Becca's the creative force behind the blog No Smoking in the Skull Cave. (As well as the less splashily named blogs Sketches, Becca's Art, Color Art, and Wink Studios Photography.) I've long admired her skill with a pen, and I commissioned her to do a few drawings. I also like her takes on horror and overlooked genre films, and her appreciation for la femme magnifique.

So not only did I pass an award onto her last month, I decided to interview her, too! And she let me! (Foolish artist!) So here is the Q and A, along with pics borrowed from her sites to randomly illustrate what she can do. Enjoy!
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Becca, who are your favorite cartoonists or caricaturists?

I've never been super interested in caricaturists but I love cartoonists. My absolute favorite cartoonist is Chris Sanders. He worked at Disney for a number of years and is best known for creating Lilo and Stitch, but his non-Disney work is very cool; sexy Hawaiian pin-up girls and cute animals. He also did a pretty funny comic for a while called Kiskaloo which you can read online and I highly recommend. I'm also a pretty big fan of Dan DeCarlo, Dean Yeagle and Jeff Smith.

Who would you say influenced your style?

This might sound weird, but the biggest influence on my style is pin-up model Bettie Page and filmmaker/photographer Russ Meyer. Obviously neither of these two painted or drew, but the style, humor and emotion of their images has really influenced what I put onto paper.

Ever woo anyone with your art?

Ha. No, I have given friends and family little drawings to make them laugh or cheer them up but I haven't used my art to pitch woo.


Did your art ever get you in trouble in school?

Not exactly. Luckily I had very liberal art teachers who were willing to let me express myself in my own way...even if it was drawings of girls in latex or creating pin-up girl paintings. I didn't ever get much hung in the classrooms, for obvious reasons.

You do photography and pen and ink artwork. Have you used your models in your drawings?

Usually I get poses and inspiration from old girlie magazines but I have done a few pieces based on photographs I've taken. I'm actually discussing a possible partnership with a model now, but nothing is final so I don't want to jinx it.


You get to have anyone, including people who have passed on, pose live for you to draw. Name one or two.

Oh, wow. Wouldn't that be cool? I would have to say 1950's Bettie Page; I don't think there has been a better model to this day. She could be so expressive and you just don't see that very often. Runners up: Aria Giovanni--she's like the living version of one of my curvy pin-up drawings--or Vixen! era Erica Gavin; in my mind she is the ultimate Russ Meyer girl and it would be a dream to draw her.

Name three strange objects you own.

1. A coin that my grandfather kept in his pocket during his service in WWII. He told me he would rub it with his fingers whenever things got tough and by the time he ended his tour of duty he had rubbed the image just about clean off. He was very important to me and it's like having a little piece of him around to this day.

2. A set of miniature plastic U.S. President figures through Kennedy I discovered when cleaning out an old attic. I keep my favorites on display, the rest in a box. Poor Millard Fillmore.

3. My collection of songs recorded by celebrities. I have the obvious ones, like Shatner and Nimoy, but I also have some weirder ones like "Boy Wonder I Love You" performed by Burt Ward and produced by Frank Zappa...yes, that Frank Zappa. Pure rotten gold.


Five favorite movies.

This is a hard question to answer! These are not the 5 greatest films ever made but probably my 5 favorite to watch over and over.

1. Barbarella (I never stop talking about my love of this movie. Someone once called me a Barbarella apologist which I thought was pretty funny)
2. Tommy
3. Big Trouble in Little China
4. Labyrinth
5. Death Proof


I offer you something to drink before you draw me. I've got everything. Would you want something with caffeine, alcohol, both, or neither?

Probably caffeine, I drink way too much coffee.


Name one OVERrated artist and one UNDERrated artist.

Rob Liefeld is pretty overrated, his comic characters have too many muscles, too many lines. They just kind of hurt my eyes to look at. Most underrated would probably be Burne Hogarth. He's an amazing artist who drew the Tarzan comic strip for years as well as writing a series of books on drawing. His stuff is awesome, but he doesn't get mentioned very often. Maybe Liefeld should read some of Hogarth's anatomy books and scale back on some of those insane muscles.

Photographic self portrait of the artist as a young woman...holding paper.

Thanks for the interview, Becca.

Cool questions. Thanks!