A war of D words

The "D words," class, are "dick," and "decadent."

I've never opened a post with a synonym for penis* before, but I was pushed into it.

In my "zombies versus vampires battle" with Melissa Castro of the swooning Edge of Forever blog (over which monster is best), Melissa has tossed out the first dick joke. And one without a punchline, I might add. Let's call it "high concept." (Which really means "low brow," which I suppose is appropriate since she's talking to me.)

I'm surprised she didn't run this cartoon. I guess she's too delicate to do any hard googling. Probably has a case of the vapors whenever she sees a photo of Grandpa Munster. ;)

Melissa is of the opinion that vampires are victorious over zombies in the zeitgeist.

Sigh. Her critical abilities must be headed downhill! And speaking of decline, we have our next "D word" to consider--"decadence." (A favorite word of vampire fans.) According to the dictionary, "decadence" is synonymous with "decline."

If you are in any doubt that the monstrous power of the vampire is in decline, take a look at Exhibits A through D:





Has anyone ever seen Romero-style zombies in candy colors marketed to little kids?

Anyone?

No, I didn't think so. Vampires, you should pardon the expression, are long in the tooth!.

But I have to feel sorry for Ms. Castro. (I just realized that this is a "Cheney vs. Castro" war! OMG, the apt strangeness of that.) Her mental acuity is clearly hampered, and therefore her opinions aren't really a fair target. She keeps referring to me and my blog as "Severed Drunken Head," which indicates a poor memory at the very least. Possibly dain bramage.

Well, I guess she's never noticed that "Melissa" is just "lame sis" rearranged.

Really, can she argue that ANY vampire has rocked it as well as THIS zombie:

Can she show a vampire face as scary as THESE?




The answer is no.

Score: Max and the zombies 3, Melissa and the hemoglobin gulpers 1. (I'll give her "one" just for the ever-lastin' vampiric image of Bela Lugosi, a really cool ghoul.)



* Willie, weiner, schlong, dong, and johnson! (Sounds like a law firm--which we all know are run by bloodsuckers, not flesh eaters!)

**But might as well be!

Happy Fangsgiving, everyone!

This is a great holiday. It's the one day of the year you can tell your friends and family to "Get stuffed!" without anyone getting mad!


Art above by Norman Bridwell, from the 1972 Scholastic book Monster Jokes and Riddles.

Dracula (Pros and) Con -- Part 1

Back in late April, the first-ever DRACULA CON was held at the Arcadia Theater in tiny, picturesque Windber, PA. (Well, the first event with this name was held; hasn't the venerable Count Dracula Society ever held a vampire or Dracula con of some kind?) The Voodoo Queen and I attended, as it was practically in our back yard.

Having no idea what to expect in a first time event, we were happily surprised to see something parked out front we'd never seen before: a motorcycle hearse! Didn't get a picture in time before it was driven away, so here's one taken from the Dracula Con site:


We'd had just missed an American Red Cross blood drive held next door in conjunction with the event, but were happy to know the event was promoting a cool cause.

Also outside, and in the lobby, were an awesome assortment of various vamps, patrons, and members of the evening musical acts:


Even the ticket-taker for the event was appropriately bloodless:


I was told he'd been a prop in a horror film-- he was certainly a good display to set the mood.

The striking image on his t-shirt was the official artwork for the con:


Wow. Jane had to get the same t-shirt! We also bought a print of this Halloween half-pint. The art was done created by artist Mike Mararian, who we were unfamiliar with, but who instantly became one of our favorite artists!

One attractive vamp arrived AS the girl in the art:


Before the afternoon's guest speakers arrived, attendees were entertained in the lobby by talented closeup magician Mark Swindler:

Unfortunately, there was no vampire theme or horror angle to his illusions, (not even a cape to go with his tux!), but his prestidigitation was impressive, and an amusing feature we hadn't expected at an event like this.

Inside the theater was the event's hostess, an affable jazz singer called Phat Man Dee. She made small talk about the event and sang songs both "on topic" and off. She had a good voice, but was backed by music on a CD, which sometimes worked, and sometimes didn't, as the music wasn't always, well, lush enough to back up her vocals. (Yelling up to the booth to tell them which track to play was kinda jarring, too.) Still, she was a good choice for hosting.


Then it came time for the guest speakers. Dracula Con organizer Blair Murphy, a friendly, energetic, enthusiastic guy formerly in the entertainment biz in L.A., came onstage. (Murphy lives in the town's haunted hotel, the Grand Midway, although closed, Murphy hosts a number of both private and public events there.) He introduced the first guest, writer Rosemary Ellen Guiley (Encyclopedia of Ghosts and Spirits). Ms. Guley is a writer for Fate magazine and a paranormal investigator.

Ms. Guiley was entertaining. She knew how to tell stories, (though she had to rely on her notes from time to time) and related anecdotes from her research on vampirism in history, folklore, and modern culture. Interestingly, she sometimes referred to stories in vampire folklore as incidents in the "vampire cult." Although not a believer in the traditional vampire, she said she believed in vampires that "vampirize your energy, luck, and beauty." She believes in "shadow people in another dimension" who come at night to vampirize and "get established." (Beats having to get a green card, I suppose.)

She did have a sense of humor about the subject. One anecdote concerned an "alleged murder victim" in 1950s Romania who came back as a vampire, and rode in "a car that looked like a coffin." A Batmobile, you might say.

Sexuality, a frequent subtext in modern representations of vampires and other bloodsuckers (hey, the lawyers in Boston Legal are always doin' the nasty), was no taboo subject at the con.

But more on that in Part Two!

Full House...of Dracula!

Funny pic made by Ted Newsom, and posted at this CHFB thread.

Incentive

If you vote for The Drunken Severed Head at http://rondoaward.com/ for BEST HORROR BLOG, the black bar on the banner above, and on the photo below, might just fall off!!

Vampire news on Friday the 13th!

I was lucky on Friday the 13th! First thing today, after I got up, I read about a "vampire's grave" as the top news item!

Seems that in Europe centuries ago, plague victims would be buried in mass graves; when more victims died, the graves would be reopened for more burials. Sometimes people at the burials would see that the more recent dead had become discolored corpses with distended bellies, and with blood oozing from their mouths. The witnesses believed these bodies had become vampires. They would shove a brick into the corpse's mouth to prevent "the vampire" from feeding. (Like that makes sense--the vampire can dig his way outta the ground, but can't remove a brick from its mouth?)

In what may be the first known "vampire grave" opened up in modern times, a skeleton with a brick in its mouth has been found. Read about here and here.




The grave's discoverer, Dr. Matteo Borrini of the University of Florence (looks like the Italian Indiana Jones!):




Image source: AOL News.