Don't Drink and Sing and Drive!

You could run into Santa and ruin everyone's Christmas!

Here's a "Don't drink and drive" Christmas carol from the satirical mind of Frank Jacobs, who wrote these lyrics for MAD magazine in the 1970s...

"We Three Clods From Omaha Are"
(Sung to the tune of "We Three Kings Of Orient Are")

We three clods from Omaha are
Spending Christmas Eve in a car
Driving, drinking, glasses clinking -
Who needs a lousy bar?

Oh, oh...
Drink to Charlie, drink to Paul
Drink to friends we can't recall
Swerving, speeding,
Signs unheeding -
Drink to anything at all.

We three clods are feeling no pain
Drunk as skunks with booze on the brain
Senses losing, 'til we're cruising
Into a wrong-way lane.

Oh, oh...
Drink to Melvin, drink to Fred
Drink to those two trucks ahead
Headlights flashing
Screeching, crashing -
Drink 'til they pronounce us dead.