A message to all you out there who don't know who your father is:
As far as I know, I have no children--but who knows?
So if you're between 18 and 25 years old and the identity of your pop is unknown, why not consider ME your dad? At least for the purposes of tributes and gifts. I'll take all the compliments, cologne and cheap neckties I can get!
Thanks. You're a good kid!