Saturday, October 30, 2010

A classic TDSH post: The Anniversary!

The pumpkins in our apartment the night of our wedding: Oct. 31, 2005.

Below is a slightly edited version of a popular previous post here. It means a lot to me.
___________________

The Anniversary is the name of a dark comedy with Bette Davis. It is also what Halloween is for me and my Voodoo Queen, Jane. We often live out a dark comedy!

This blog began in 2007 as an outgrowth of my enthusiasm for the Universal Monster Army. And it was there that I met my bride. The UMA is a web site for people who love the classic Universal monster movies and the stuff (toys, mags, records, masks etc.) that have been derived from them. It's a group that I help moderate, and it's a group where I have made many dear friends.

It's where I met Jane Considine, who became my bride in 2005!

Like many other friends made online, we'd e-mailed often and yakked on the phone a good bit. Eventually, this became a romance, and Jane and I would visit each other. (She was in Pittsburgh, and I was in St. Louis. ) Then one day Jane proposed, I accepted, and we decided I'd move to Pittsburgh.

I had a sale of my stuff. Here's the flier for that sale, beautifully done by UMA friend Richard Olson:
Prior to the matrimonial monster mash, Richard and my UMA friends threw me a virtual bachelor party, complete with racy pictures of me and the classic movie monsters partying with beauties and villainesses from old horror flicks!

Many of our friends in the UMA also commissioned an oil painting by artist Mike Bennett (and fellow Army enlistee) as a wedding gift, which arrived in time to display at the wedding:

I later described the move and the wedding at the Universal Monster Army. We had several very good friends help us move, and they had quite a job, with all my crap; including a relatively large number of films on 16mm, and of course, all my monster stuff.

Here's a slightly edited version of that 2005 account at the UMA:

"The move of the Drunken Severed Head from St. Louis began at midnight, appropriately enough, just after he and the Voodoo Queen had loaded the last of a pile of reels, each wound with several thousand feet of nightmare dreams printed sixteen millimeters wide. The packed caravan driven was crammed with many--far TOO many--other items as well, such as books of stories of terror, plastic jack-o- lanterns, little dolls representing the undead, etc.. A portion of the eerie cargo had been wrapped by "Coffin Ray" (Raymond Castile) himself! A banner on the side saying "Prof. Lampini's" would not have been entirely inappropriate. [A reference to the movie "House Of Frankenstein".] Believe it or not, the trip also ENDED at midnight the next night, and a thunderstorm greeting Max and Jane as they entered Transyl-- er, Pennsyl-vania.

"The next day the newlyweds-to-be unloaded all the tchotkes of terror of the Tanked Terminated Top into an empty apartment. The front door was fronted by a pair of gas lamps, seeming to usher them backwards into an earlier, shadowy time of the dim past. Both of them remarked that they half expected to see Mr. Hyde or Jack the Ripper! That would have been redundant, since Jane wants to Hyde whenever Max has sauerkraut, and becomes a Ripper himself.
"The wedding, a few days later, took place a mere block from the apartment where the terrible two will be making a home come December. Currently (said Dr. Frankenstein, when asked how he would create life), Jane and Max have TWO apartments, her very small one-bedroom AND the two-bedroom they will be occupying. (Can't say "living in", since it's questionable as to whether either are actually alive.) They feel like barons of industry--or maybe just Baron Frankenstein--having TWO domiciles to haunt. Oh, the luxury!

"In a courtyard of a former priory, on the edge of night's approach, they married each other before a small party of guests. The weather was perfect--crisp enough to remind one it was autumn, but warm enough for basic comfort, and the foliage of the trees was a collection of Halloween shades of orange and red. The ceremony had no officiant, as the two lovebats were wed under Pennsylvania's marriage law which offers a "Self-Uniting License" to those who request it (originally meant for the Quakers who founded Pennsylvania.) The wedding did have two friends assisting in the ceremony, and who acted as the official witnesses.

Max and Jane spoke their self-written vows , exchanged rings, and then declared themselves wed as husband and wife. This was followed by a hand-fasting rite, where their hands were ritually bound together with a long satin ribbon. As a finale they ceremonially jumped two crossed brooms, as the guests cheered, screamed, or hooted to scare away any mischievous phantoms of ill-will that might be lurking.

The bride's bouquet, made by the bride herself.

"As the guests came into the reception room, an elegant, large Victorian dining room, processional music from "The Bride of Frankenstein"--done by a modern orchestra--played. (It was the march from the scene where the villagers have captured the Monster and then carry him off in a hay wagon.) To have this music played at his wedding was long a dream of Max's! The food at the reception came from the market where Jane works, and though there was enough for three times the number of assembled people (as well as for un-assembled people); it was SO good that it was nearly all polished off!

"As the guests dined, they talked of many things, but at one table the talk was of one guest's upcoming trip to the actual region of Transylvania, which led to sometimes nicely-ghoulish talk about the history of the region, and about Vlad Tepes, Bela Lugosi, and Transylvania's export, 'Vampire Wine'. (Max and Jane drink it! Dark red, dry but not horribly so, and inexpensive. This year's vintage is a good one.)

"After this, toasts were made, buttering up the bride and groom--so they were buttered toasts, apparently. Max toasted his bride by quoting one Cathy Howes: 'I love you truly, a little madly, but oh- so-deeply. I want to grow old disgracefully with you! And if love can be sealed with a kiss, may there be kisses enough to make our marriage watertight!' The two married maniacs also toasted the guests, absent friends and family, and the UMA (both as 'the Universal Monster Army' and by naming several members in the group.)

"Max told the guests that Jane was, apparently, his reward for every good thing he has ever done, calling her his 'karma in a cute package.' He related how nervous he was in doing the final writing of the vows they made, and shared a list of words he had found that one was to avoid when writing one's own wedding vows:

Bodacious
Foxy
Undulating
Whatever!
Salami
Bargain
Litigation
Compulsive

The bride wore henna designs on her hands and feet. The groom wore novelty socks.

Oh, he wore a pentagram in his palm too--a sign of lycanthropy!

And generally acted crazy.

"Jane and Max danced to a song by the famous horror host Zacherley, "Come With Me to Transylvania". (He had wooed her by singing this and Zach's "Howling At The Moon" when first they met.) Max later left a message with Zacherley to tell him of this. Coupla days afterwards, Zach called back and said he was thoroughly delighted to hear about it, laughingly telling Max that he had told his friends about it! Max and 'the Cool Ghoul' talked about the wedding and reception, Zach's career and new CD release, and how much he enjoyed appearing onstage with Bobby Pickett for the first time.

"Other music at the reception included Erich Kunzel's 'Chiller' album of classics such as "Danse Macabre", music from Zip Caplan's "Monsters and Heroes", the CD "Monster Party 2000"(including a cover of the theme from "Young Frankenstein"), and Verne Langdon's "Music for Zombies."
A friend and a father-in-law.
"During Mr. Considine's visit to Pittsburgh, Max and his new father-in-law got along very well, as they both know every old joke ever told, and he and Max may have traded ALL of them. (Poor Jane! Her eye muscles got strained from all the eye-rolling she had to do!) Son and father-in-law also would sing old pop songs of the 30's and 40's at the drop of a hat, which was fairly often, since hats don't stay on severed heads too well.

"The Voodoo Queen was off from work for over two weeks, but had little time to relax. After a trip to St. Louis to see friends of Max's, came one to Max's hilly Arkansas hometown to visit his family. (They could come not to the wedding-- probably a still had to be protected from "revenooers.") Jane helped Max pack and load, then move to Pittsburgh. She and Max prepared for the wedding in a myriad ways, then after a happy wedding and a day and-a-half to themselves, Jane had to get ready to go back to work. The third day after the wedding, she was back in the trenches managing the specialty dept. of a large supermarket, where the holiday season has kicked off. But she thrives there, the queen of cheeses and imported delicacies.

Jane's friend Ben, looking nervous before the ceremony. He took part in it.

"The Severed Head has looked into work both in security (his previous line of work), and in meat-cutting, which has a nice Gein-ian sound to it. His search was hampered a bit as his car was stolen a week after the wedding, but it was recovered a few days later, somewhat the worse for wear but driveable.
"Max thrives on moving stuff into the new apartment from the old, refreshed by the occasional beverage labeled "O-positive."

"Well, that's the story--all the belated moving and marital news from this corner of the UMA community. More pictures pictures from the wedding follow. (Several from the reception look like we had no electricity, but it's just because we had a cheap camera.) Enjoy.

"Carpe noctem, fellow creatures. HAPPY HALLOWEEN, everybody!"

That's it!

7 comments:

Erick said...

Happy Halloween and Happy Anniversary Max and Jane!

Jenn said...

So awesome! Thank you for sharing this! You guys look so cute and happy! Happy Anniversary and Happy Halloween to you both!

Hollygoyle said...

I love this! You guys make me so happy. Happy Halloween and Anniversary!!! :D

Fester said...

Happy Anniversary and Happy Halloween.

And here's to many more!

Mike C. said...

One day and night to signify two very special things... congratulations, happy anniversary, and a very happy Hallowe'en, my friend!

Dr.Zamboni said...

nice blog, happy anniversary. i will spare your life when i destroy this earth as i i can see you and your friends are of the Other world. enjoy your life
-Dr. Z mad scientist

Heather F said...

LOVE the website Max, and although my visit was a little overdue, it was very much worth the wait! You and Jane seem like a perfect match, and I am definitely impressed with how the two of you created such a unique and personalized wedding day for yourselves! Thanks for inviting me to peek at this, and look forward to seeing you down at WF in the not-too-distant future :)
Congrats again! Heather F

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