The campaign to get The Drunken Severed Head an honorable mention in the Rondo Awards for BEST WEBSITE OR BLOG enters its final day (DEADLINE: Midnight Sat., Mar.8!). I am not ashamed to say that I am desperate for votes! (I have even changed my last name to O'Bama, in the hopes of getting the "Irish-Americans-Who-Get-Confused-Easily" vote.) With the pressure on, I'm unveiling my plans and future promises should I reach my goal of mention-worthiness! So I now unveil...
THE PLATFORM OF THE DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD
(Of course I have a platform. I have to rest on something!)
PLEDGE NUMBER ONE: Obey your thirst!
Anyone whom I meet with a copy of the image below printed out will get a free beer and Skittles from me. (I'll be at various cons, so yez gotta a decent chance at a freebie!) Who says life can't be skittles and beer?
PLEDGE NUMBER TWO: What the hell?
My friends, if you vote for me, I will endeavor every week to make TDSH the most irrelevant site in the blogosphere! No one else has the courage to make this promise. But, full of strong drink*, I can boldly go where sober minds dare not tread!
PLEDGE NUMBER THREE: Schadenfreude is fun!
If I get honorable mention or runner-up status-- no one in his/her right mind would expect me to actually WIN-- anyone who leaves a comment saying that they voted for me will get to choose a substance to be poured on the drunken severed head, which will be photographed and posted here. Substances must be relatively cheap, commonly available, legal-to-possess, and non-toxic or corrosive. OR, a drawing/slogan of your choice not X-rated will be placed anywhere on my noggin.
Here's an example :
WILL Tim Lucas of Video Watchblog do this for his readers, should he win? No, my fellow nets of the Internut-- he lacks the cojones! (As a severed head, I speak metaphorically, of course.) All he has is talent and intelligence. Same with gifted film director Joe "Benny Hinn" Dante of Trailers from Hell. Will he allow his hair to be coated with unusual substances (other than Aqua-Net), to reward and delight his supporters, hmmm? I'm sure we all know the answer to that question. A big nope.
So vote for me by midnight, March 8, here. It's the silliest choice you can make!
* Where does the liquor I consume go, you ask? West Potrzebie province in Lower Blovatia.