My vice-presidential running mate, Allen's Brain, has posted his acceptance speech here. (Inspiring!) Within it, you'll read the story of his strange but magnaminous beginnings. (Moving!)
This brain will touch your heart. (Eewww. Excuse me--visceral reaction.) His speech, and his story, will grab your psyche by the lapels! You'll smile with patriotic feeling! You'll swell with American pride! (Keep antihistamines near.)
Yes, he'll amaze and astound you--and all without sick kids or spouses, funny relatives, MILFs, or girlfriends on the side! (Though he does have mutated lizard-men as assistants and bodyguards. Kinda like having Secret Service Sleestaks!)
Now go click on that link above like the loyal supporter that you are!