Friday, October 30, 2009

Countdown Day 30: Unloved candies

If I found the candies in this post in my trick or treat bag, I'd give 'em away-- or maybe save some of them for some dire sugar-jonesin' emergency. Feh!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, I give you my most disliked trick-or-treat candies of all time!

Licorice. (The above are licorice "Snaps")

Necco Wafers.

Circus Peanuts.

Candy corn and peanut butter taffy. (Okay, I didn't hate peanut butter taffy, but it was a low priority confectionary acquisition.)

Most hard candies.

Root beer barrels and butterscotch buttons were just barely acceptable. But cinnamon, mint or fruit-flavored hard candies were the LAST candies I ever wanted to get. Hell, gimme gum or frickin' tiny boxes of raisins over those weird-tastin' teeth-rotters!

And fruit flavor "filled" hard candy, leftover from the previous Christmas and handed out by cheap old ladies with smelly hands, was THE worst! Charlie Brown coulda traded me his rocks for 'em! Pooey!

Wait, I take that back. Here's the WORST hard candy:

Horehound candies! BLECCHH!!! The only saving grace of horehound was having it allowed you to say a bad word without getting into trouble, like when you got to say "ass" in a Bible verse or when I could refer to the dams in my hometown region in northern Arkansas, such as the Norfork Lake dam or Bull Shoals lake dam.

And speaking of "naughty words" you could get away with saying, man, I gotta have a cocktail! Must get the taste of this post outta my mouth! Perhaps I'll have a drink known as "a Candy Bar." It does taste just like it's namesake--oh, it's delicious! Here's the recipe, courtesy of the CD Kitchen site:

Candy Bar Cocktail:


1 ounce vodka
1 ounce white creme de cacao
1 ounce dark creme de cacao
2 tablespoons peanut butter
1 teaspoon chocolate syrup
Crushed ice


Combine all in an old fashioned glass; blend until smooth, strain.


Image sources of nasty sweets are found here, here, here, and here.


Chris 'Frog Queen' Davis said...

Completely agree....all bad...would never hand them out, never!!


suzanne said...

I would like to add Molasses Kisses and Rockets (called Smarties in the U.S.)to your list. Both are suitable for trading. If anyone will accept them. :)

Ubermilf said...

You should really warn people before you publish pictures of something as disgusting as licorice snaps.

Max the drunken severed head said...

Sorry, Ubermilf. (Hangs head in embarrassment.)

Well, it sounds like none of you will be handing any of this stuff tomorrow--I am proud of all of you.


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