Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Four Loko explained


The name is a variation of "For loco"--because that is who it's for--loco people!

At least it was.

The high-alcohol malt beverage with lotsa caffeine was getting bad press as being unhealthy. (That's one of the biggest sins nowadays.) But Phusion Projects, the manufacturer, has announced it's getting rid of the caffeine in Four Loko, just ahead of the FDA getting ready to curtail commerce in boozy beverages with a buzz.

Seems ineffectual--can't people can just substitute shots of espresso as a chaser with their malt liquor? But it IS crazy to mix stimulants with a depressant, and make people feel they're less blitzed than they really are. Bad for the safety of drivers and bystanders. Also causes more cars crashing into bars! People get hurt! Drinks get spilled! (Shudder.)

Fruity malt liquor with java's jolt--seems a crazy mad potion to me. Positively Jekyllian!

Four Loko was a wacky idea. I think it was a mix of this--
plus this:
and this:
Or maybe it was a combo of these three ingredients:
Bleah!

Whether you're sober or sloshed, straight or stoned, please go the Wacky Packages Online Reference Guide, the site where all the above images came from. It's loaded with info about (and photos of) Wacky Packs, the stickers from the late Sixties into the late Seventies that satirized so many consumer goods! (Happily, the stickers were revived for this decade, and new Wacky Packs are available for people not around the first time they appeared.)

5 comments:

McSnitches said...

making me thirsty haha

Psycho Sue- Sew Misunderstood said...

red bull and vodka still is the best....i just learned about an "irish garbage can" which is a long island ice tea with red bull. those stickers are awesome!

Fester said...

Just what the world needed: more wide-awake drunks! I prefer the old fashioned ones that fall over throw up and go to sleep. Usually in that order . . .

Man, those stickers! I had dozens of 'em all over my lunchbox and three ring binder. Those and the Mars Attacks trading cards were a big piece of my first childhood.

By the way-- I did a Yahoo search for your blog on one of the computers at work. I typed in "Max the Drunken Severed Head." It asked me if I meant "Max the Drink Enslave Redhead."

Max the drunken severed head said...

A toast to all of you!

Psycho Sue--I remember my Red Bull days. That's when I was still attached to a young body and thought I was indestructible. Now, if I had a drink like you describe, I'd recreate the most famous scene in SCANNERS.

Fester-- Thanks for letting me know how the Internet categorizes me now. It used to suggest "max out the shrunken slivered heap," and I still don't know what THAT means.

Fishing said...

I'm dying here! LOL, let me recompose and glob. Oh my.

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