Three men die on Christmas and are met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. He tells them, "In honor of this holy day, in order to get into heaven, you must each bring in an item associated with Christmas."
The three men look at St. Peter, stunned. The first man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out a lighter. He flicks it and the flame appears. He tells a dubious-looking St. Peter, "It represents a candle, and candles represent the light of the star of Bethlehem".
Saint Peter considers this. "You may pass through the pearly gates," he finally says.
The second man reaches into his pocket, pulls out a set of keys and jingles them, then says, "They sound like little bells, and I always think of Christmas whenever I hear bells jingle." He begins to ramble about church bells and "Jingle Bells" when Saint Peter says, "Okay, okay, you may pass through the pearly gates."
The third man, Jack, starts searching desperately through his pockets. Finally he pulls out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looks at the man with a cocked eyebrow and demands, "And just HOW are THOSE associated with Christmas?"
The man replies, "These are Carol's!"
Yeah, this 1945 ad image isn't of panties, but it IS very nice and I wanted to run it. So there. Besides, this is a season for uplift, isn't it?