Monday, February 7, 2011

The horror of LOSING

Above: REAL Pittsburgh zombies attack after the 2009 Super Bowl win.

Well, there is "no joy in Mudville," if by Mudville you mean Pittsburgh, the town that's home to the newly-defeated Steelers football team and also to the Drunken Severed Head. (Yes, I know I'm using a line from a poem about baseball, but so what? Sue me.) Hey, the name of the Steelers might as well BE "mud" right now, in this joyless town. (And another besides: I moved here after many years of living in St. Louis--a baseball town if ever there was one-- and some things just stick to you after a while.)

Pittsburgh is a drinkin' town right now...hard, grim drinkin'. (Not "drinking" with a g--the g is used only with happy occasions.)

Two Pittsburgh guys who love horror and weirdness as much as I do are Ed "Drink 'til Yer Dead" Quillin and Rich "I'm Getting Blotto" Dalzotto. Ed is a talented caricature artist who creates zombie portraits of his customers, and Rich is an organizer of the Horror Realm convention and classic and cult horror film screenings. Both are sad that the tradition of setting ablaze one's furniture during a Super Bowl celebration in now not only illegal, but it's moot with the Steeler's loss. (It's so beloved a pastime that even our firefighters here take part in couch conflagration.)

Here's their post-Bowl Facebook conversation to click on and read. I post it here (with permission) as THE conversation that all brain-dead, walkin' dead, hard-drinkin' men in this town are having right now:

I think some zombie "little people" lesbian friends of mine may just rip Rich up and make their own Pitts-burger, but who knows? All my zombie lesbian friends have a high tolerance level for nonsense and trash talk. But on the other hand, they do like Rich food...

Related link: Burnin' Down the Couch


The Angry Lurker said...

Excellent facebook drunken conversation and I never heard of the burning furniture tradition.

Max the drunken severed head said...


Glad to bring news of little known folk rituals to ethnologists of the strange like yourself.

Ed Quillin said...

Burning drunken couches of death destroying the city and setting all of the jagoff's mullets on fire!!!

Jay Watson said...

As a Packers fan, (lived 5 years in cheese-land; but was a Packer fan even while living in Minneapolis as a youth) I offer you condolences. The Steelers played hard, and well. Maybe next year.
I still remember their rise to glory under Chuck Noll and Bradshaw in the 70's... a truly great franchise. They'll be back.
As to the midget lesbian vapmires... I didn't know Lebanon had a problem with the small suckers.


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