Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A Hammer star names my snake-- IT IS...


This name, a reference to Kurt Russell's character in Escape to New York, was sent in by TDSH reader Mike Scott of Ohio, the state that's round on both ends and hi(gh) in the middle!

Paula Abdul quit unexpectedly as a judge for the naming contest, and that left me and former Hammer film star SHANE BRIANT, who I contacted last week, as judges. (Shane's seen right in a pic from Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell.) Well, having a celebrity as well known as him on board made me decide that only Mr. Briant would be the arbiter of the most appropriate name in the poll results.

He chose from the top 3 vote-getters in the snake-naming poll. Said Mr. Briant in an e-mail sent this evening:

"I think this one is pretty easy.

"In THIRD place comes ‘Trouser’. [2nd place in the reader's poll.] I knew someone would come up with this and I pity any snake that is likened to a penis.

"In SECOND place come ‘Creamette the Living Noodle.’ I might have voted for ‘Noodle’ (cute) but a brand of noodle, no. And it’s too long. Can’t call out to a self-respecting snake in such a way – has to be short and pithy. Imagine if the snake were crossing a busy road and a car was coming? By the time you called out 'Look out, Creamette the Living Noodle!!!' She’d be GONE!

"So, the WINNER is....... ‘Plisskin,’ !!!!!!!. Nicely onomatopoeic and clever."

CONGRATULATIONS to Mike and THANK YOU! to Shane Briant. Mike wins five bucks and two cents, (pre-2009 Lincoln pennies) , a choice of any item on this page, and a free dvd copy of The Drunken Severed Head Show, the only 10 minute film release complete with commentaries, deleted scenes, and a stills gallery!

And some cheap horror trinket of my choice.

When contacted by phone, Mike said, "Cool! Thanks! I never thought I'd win." (I think he means he
hoped he'd never win--now he wins a prize with MY face on it.) He also said he'd likely choose the TDSH Campaign 2008 mug as a prize.

On the right is a photo of my newly-named reptile. You can see he's camera-shy.

And here's Mike Scott of Ohio:

He's not the Mike Scott who won the contest, but I can't get a picture of him; he's camera-shy too. So this is jazz guitarist Mike Scott, who was raised in Ohio. Eh, what's the diff? You've never met either one!

Being an idiot with a juvenile sense of humor I liked "Trouser"--rhymes with pet name "Bowser"--but Jane did not. She swears she did not bribe or cajole Mr. Briant in the selection process. But really I liked ALL the names, including "Serpico", which Mr. Briant had earlier told me he liked as a name for the snake.

Thanks to everyone who participated in any way in this contest!

Update, 9/23/09: This post, originally put up some days ago, disappeared from my blog for reasons unknown to me. But here it is again!

Mike Scott image source found here.


John Rozum said...

Today must be my lucky day!

I can't tell you how relieved I am that someone else was the winner of those fabulous prizes.

Congratulations, Mike!

Mike Scott said...

You like me! You really like me!! (This is the comment I would have come up with on the phone, if I was able to think fast on my feet.)

Thank you, Max, for the contest and thank you Shane for picking my 'umble suggestion and, of course, thanks to "Plisskin" (hope the kids don't make fun of your name)!

Pierre Fournier said...

This is outrageous! I demand a recount!

Actually, I don’t give a shit.

I must admit that I was seriously impressed by your one-man panel of judges. I understand Ms. Abdul bailed after she was told she had to pick one of three names. “It’s too complicated!” she said. As for Mr. Briant, what a good sport he is for doing this. Mr. Briant is a true gentleman, a distinguished actor, an accomplished novelist and, obviously, deranged.

Congratulations to the winner. Expect him to sue after he watches your DVD. Congratulations to you, Max, for finding a very original way of getting rid of some crap. And congratulations, I guess, to the snake.

Actually, the snake doesn’t give a shit.

Max the drunken severed head said...

"Actually, the snake doesn’t give a shit."

Worms dipped in prune juice will fix that right up.

Pierre Fournier said...


Max the drunken severed head said...

You Gallic folk have delicate gastric sensibilities!

John Rozum-- you could get free fabulous shit from this blog if you keep being snarky--and then you'd be sorry.

Better still--I'll combine it with Conrad Brooks shit! Mwah ha ha ha ha!!!

Mike--you're welcome! I think the contest was almost as much fun as a rerun of "Match Game."

Max the drunken severed head said...

P.S. to Liz D-M: Even though it was too late to be entered, I thought your suggestion "Hissy Fit" was a pretty good one!

wiec? said...

hey i'm the one who suggested Trouser. and i came in third and second place?

whoo-hoo! i did better at name the snake than i ever did in any spelling bee or pie eating contest i ever participated in. Plisskin is a great handle and the right choice for a one eyed snake. a no brainer. hope you and the reptile are happy together Max.

Max the drunken severed head said...

LOL! Thanks wiec!


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